Random feelings

Suddenly i rmb something. 

We were in my aunt cum godma's car and we were talking abt my sis' wedding. Then she asked me when i getting a boyfriend. like -.- Then i said, erm... '要找就会有的meh? 找工作都找这么久了，男朋友应该没有那么快啦.' Like the best ans i can give. Seriously not like i do not want, but is really don't have. So what can i do?

But seriously i dunno is i suay or what lah... Ok i think i suay. Have been suay lately, I mean still suay. I haven't won any money from mahjong since i dunno when. I haven't had something which i really want it to happen. Whichever thing i didn't want it to happen, it just will. 

Life is a game. But even if i play it right, i will get to the end first? I'm not sure about that. But suayness haven't left me yet. Or so i think. 

And so, I really don't know what i have done to enable other ppl to treat me like how they do. I've never taken any person or any thing for granted. Eg. if i am the one asking a favor of another person, i expect myself to be accommodating to the other party's convenience. But i dunno why sometimes when i'm the person helping, i have to accommodate also. I'm not saying every time and everyone does that. But i'm just puzzled. I guess i've said this many times before also. It is because i'm too easy-going? TOO easy-going for my friends to take advantage of? I dunno, but perhaps i really have to learn to say 'No'.

Dreams. Ambitions. Reality

Yeap, it's been another week since. And i could say... it was quite a relaxing week. Relaxing in the sense, not so much work and enough time for play. :)

But actually, life for me isn't really exciting this way. So I'd rather i have more things to do? Well, maybe. And yet we complain about how tiring it is when we have too many things to do. Pure irony.

Anyway, i was watching 就想赖着你 today and 杨朵 said that she had always worked to survive and never was able to pursue what she really likes. She saw the lawyer's eyes flicker with excitement and light when he talks about law. It makes her want to pursue her dreams. And she will go all the way to do it. When i heard that, I was actually quite touched.

How many people can actually pursue their dreams and do something they like? Well, I can say that i didn't really realise my dream. My first ambition was a teacher. I mean i really like to teach, but I dunno where is my ability in teaching. Although i like it, i dun think i'm up to such a job. Then as the years go by, my dream is to be a DJ of my fav radio station. Becos i listen to the radio everyday since i was a kid. Probably ever since i have a memory of listening to a radio. I want to share the best music to my ears to everyone listening to the radio. I will allow no lousy music in my programme. My dream. But i dun think it will ever be a dream come true.

Anyway, it was never my dream to be a performer or musician, although i like to play the instrument and likes to perform with everybody else. It's the combine effort which i always adore and is proud of. So my next ambition is to lead a whole orchestra, to be proud of my members as i stay behind the scenes to take care of other stuff. Yet, I still didn't have the chance. I'm still waiting. The road is still long before me. I will still work for what I want. For now, i'm happy to be doing something related to my interest.

I have a friend who always complain about the job and the amount earned. I would say the complaints come from the dissatisfaction from the job. The pay is probably double of what i earn. But i nv complained abt my job. Becos i'm doing what i like and my friend is not. And if my friend is sensitive enough, things like 'i think the pay is really not very high and not enough'. I mean, look at what your friends are earning, they complained but they enjoyed it too. I guess you didn't. I look forward to the day your bond ends so you can go and do something else. (which might not pay as high as well).

I wouldn't say I want to see the light in front of my now, since I just started out. I couldn't be more ambitious than doing what I should and earning my experiences. I'm much more than happy even if i have to travel so far every day and not coming home for dinner cos of other commitments. I like what i'm doing now, including work, syco, teach and learn. Each and every thing i do, I find the satisfaction in it, and i think this is what everyone should look for. :)

asswai concert coming!

SYCO concert is coming again. There's no prac the next week, by the time we start prac again the week after, we gonna each other for the whole week! :D The totally <3 week. haha!

Still rmb last year i had this bad withdrawal syndrome cos i woke up the next morning after concert and still thought that it was the concert day. LOL! That was quite funny actually. But actually this year there was so much less activities... And less talk time too. :( Think mostly becos everyone is more busy with their life now.. well, including myself lah. So less outings, less supper (for me) = less trips home tgt, blah blah blah.

Although i know the last week before concert is going to be hectic, especially when i've already gone through the same process last year when i work temp here. But, i think it's going to be fulfilling and fun! Are we going to have our colour days this year again!? :) I'm looking forward to the concert anyhows! If u haven't grab ur ticket. Go get it NOW! hahaha.

And i'm happy about some friends going. look forward look forward! LOL! :)))

The kids...

Today my violin kid got a bad scolding. Poor her and not really very poor thing also. haha! I was very stern with her today cos I dunno why she has to keep laughing during lesson and doesn't want to listen to me. Apparently i think her mother heard everything outside the classroom. And when the lesson ended, she came in and gave her a lecture, and asked her to apologise to me, which, she finds it funny too. -.- And difficult to say it out. I think she's scared, but used the smile to hide it. 'Sorry' is really difficult to say. I wanted to say 'it's ok' when she couldn't say it out, but i decided that I shouldn't be so soft-hearted on her. Maybe it will teach her a small lesson and she will listen to me from then. I mean, hopefully. haha!

Ya, from first lesson till now, i think every week she will at least say once 'you don't know one lah'. Excuse me, if i don't know, how i teach you? -.- I'm so going to ban her from saying that.

While this one is too noisy, the other kid is too quiet. And he do work so slow! (for a primary 4 i.e.). And he doesn't want to ask even if he doesn't know. So he just stares at the page until i ask him. And he actually yawned during the lesson. -.- Hello, i've been working the whole day too ok. Hais.

Now i've got another new student anyway. Sat at west coast plaza. Yup. Still very far. And i'm taken away from my gym sessions totally. :( But anyway. Last week it was the 2nd lesson with this little girl. And she took some time to praise me from top to bottom, as in my necklace, clothes, shoes. LOL. I think cos she wants to talk and dun want to play violin. Smart kid. But a bit stressful cos her dad and elder sister can play violin too. haha. Then this one, ask her to play whole bow, dun want to listen. then tell me very hard. -.- If not hard, don't need to learn and practise alrdy right. haha. funny.

Ok. That's all for now. Look out for more of the kid's amusing acts.

Week 1 ends

Yeap, end of week 1. This is like so fast! lol.

But ok lah.. nothing much on first week. Just receive as much as i can. And it's like really A LOT! Very different. Yup. I understand, more responsibility, more duties, more of everything! haha. But so far so good... That is until my colleagues to go on leave. haha. Which is next week! One of them will not be coming in for the whole week. And then the next following week, the other will be off for her trip. So there are somedays i will be alone. Good luck to me! hahaha!

Yup, but next week should be the start of all my nightmares ba. HAHA! Like mon and wed SY, tues and fri teach violin (at yishun), and thurs is erhu lesson. Just the thought of it i want to faint liao. LOL! This week only had to teach.. no CO at all. Already a bit tiring. I need more energy! And this week is already quite upsetting cos i couldn't get to yishun on time on tues. I was terribly late. I felt so sorry lor. Was quite an awkward moment. But ya... hopefully next week will be better. Shifted back the time a bit. Fri is still ok.

And then monday too. Should be going to be late for sy ba. haha. Dun care lah. Bo bian. Got staff retreat. Yeap. That's all! TV also watch finish liao. Time to sleep! :)

Erhu . music . life

Haven't talk abt my erhu lesson for a long time now.

It's been slightly more than half a year since learning from zhulin laoshi. So far so good? Very fulfilling lessons. Practising yang guang and jiang nan and qin qiang now. Actually is quite xiong. lol! I think he has quite high expectations of me.. and of cos i have high expectations of myself lah. Just that, i'm a bit worried abt the future lessons cos i don't know if i really have the time to practise bit by bit. sighs. But i'll still try my best lah.

Learning jiang nan from him makes me realise that jiang nan is really not easy. No matter how hard i tried, couldn't get the feeling right. And i think it's kinda my own technical problem. and i'm not working hard enough ba.

Plus, now i've got to teach on 2 weekday nights and weekend aftn. Where do i find time? My weekday nights are ALL devoted to music-related stuff alr. Mon and Wed mostly SY, Tues and Fri teach violin, Thurs usually erhu lesson. !!! Oh actually is my everyday life that is devoted to music-related stuff. Including my job. Haha! Good thing to me though, it's like dream come true to have my life all revolving ard things i like. Just that maybe i do like more things than just music. haha.

My issue...

Today i suddenly thought of something which happened earlier this year.. and all along i didn't tell anyone. And i think no one else knew abt this cos i was the coordinator, and probably the person who said it. I'm not going to put any names down, i just want to rant it off.


We are arranging to meet a friend (A) for dinner/supper before she flies off. As there were quite a few of us, it was a bit difficult to arrange a time good for everyone. So there was a lot of smses to and fro. And i dunno, i might have confused some ppl along the way cos i sent different msges to A and the rest of the grp. Eventually, i managed to get most of the grp on a certain day which A said that she is fine with it alrdy.


So when i cfm the dinner meeting time with A, the reply i got was that A thought it would be supper. And goes on to say that she's having dinner at home with her family. I admit that it's my mistake to assume the time she is available to meet us. And becos A takes a very long time to reply each of my msg, and time is tight, so i didn't double check with her beforehand. Yup, my fault. So i tried to salvage it lah. I told the rest abt the situation i think. Then B told me that it's fine, but she can't stay too late cos of important school stuff next morning. And i told A abt it and ask her to come after her dinner, like as early as she can make it. My heart sank when i saw the next reply. 'my mum is cooking dinner specially for me. So i can only make it after dinner. You guys can eat first. It's ok if i don't see B. Meet her year end then.' I feel sad all of the sudden, sad for B, sad for myself, and sad for us all. She may have said the same abt me too.

Suddenly i felt like saying 'let's just forget abt the meet up', since A doesn't seem to see a need to. But i didn't say that out lah, just that i was quite emo for a while.

Ya.. my fault for the miscommunication... but she doesn't have to be so cold abt it. I felt that i have made a lot of effort for the close friends ard me and sometimes things like that just makes me feel a bit disappointed. And makes me think if all these while it's worthed me doing it.

A lot of thoughts still lingers within me, i don't know but sometimes when i think of such stuff, i will hold back for a while. But in the end, i still can't resist and try to do something i can to make things work.

If u know who and what i'm talking abt, you may want to talk to me abt it, but anything, i don't care. I don't know if u still read my blog, (and if u still rmb u said all these), you may want to think abt it. I don't know what's ur feeling when u told me those words. I really have no idea. I have no idea if we were still friends like we were.

Period.

Bubble-tea craze

Lately the BubbleTea craze is kinda back again. Same for me! KOI, Q-Essentials mostly. And it's like back to the >$2 age for a cup.

It reminds me of a bad experience with bubble tea back in the secondary school days. My friends and i were so into bbt that we go for different ones everyday after school. That was the sec 2 days... And i really mean everyday! For how long i can't rmb. But my favourite during that time was Chocolate ice-blended with Chocolate pearl. I love the chocolate pearl! HAHAH! But was damn ex for me last time lah.

But this incident i will nv forget. It was the day of Maths Paper 2 for final examination, in my opinion, one of the most important and confident paper. Just before the paper, my period came and i got cramp!!! Like damn jialat cramp. I took the normal Panadol pill, but no use lah. So still have to go for the exam right. But the pain is like making me tremble and lost focus. I can't rmb if i managed to finish the paper. But i was sweating and trembling the whole time during the paper.. Totally cmi. In the end i didn't do very well for the paper. Which was quite saddening. only 30/50 :( Luckily Paper 1 not bad and still make it to the first class. lol.

But ever since that time, i nv had bbt everyday anymore. At most like twice per week. Anyway there's one period whereby bbt faded out and there wasn't nice bbt ard. Until last year like that then we have good bbt in the market. So we are all back to the bbt craze! :D

Too bad nus doesn't have it... so i guess i'm going for healthy choices, i.e. juices! hahahaha! Good for myself. :)