Today i suddenly thought of something which happened earlier this year.. and all along i didn't tell anyone. And i think no one else knew abt this cos i was the coordinator, and probably the person who said it. I'm not going to put any names down, i just want to rant it off.
We are arranging to meet a friend (A) for dinner/supper before she flies off. As there were quite a few of us, it was a bit difficult to arrange a time good for everyone. So there was a lot of smses to and fro. And i dunno, i might have confused some ppl along the way cos i sent different msges to A and the rest of the grp. Eventually, i managed to get most of the grp on a certain day which A said that she is fine with it alrdy.
So when i cfm the dinner meeting time with A, the reply i got was that A thought it would be supper. And goes on to say that she's having dinner at home with her family. I admit that it's my mistake to assume the time she is available to meet us. And becos A takes a very long time to reply each of my msg, and time is tight, so i didn't double check with her beforehand. Yup, my fault. So i tried to salvage it lah. I told the rest abt the situation i think. Then B told me that it's fine, but she can't stay too late cos of important school stuff next morning. And i told A abt it and ask her to come after her dinner, like as early as she can make it. My heart sank when i saw the next reply. 'my mum is cooking dinner specially for me. So i can only make it after dinner. You guys can eat first. It's ok if i don't see B. Meet her year end then.' I feel sad all of the sudden, sad for B, sad for myself, and sad for us all. She may have said the same abt me too.
Suddenly i felt like saying 'let's just forget abt the meet up', since A doesn't seem to see a need to. But i didn't say that out lah, just that i was quite emo for a while.
Ya.. my fault for the miscommunication... but she doesn't have to be so cold abt it. I felt that i have made a lot of effort for the close friends ard me and sometimes things like that just makes me feel a bit disappointed. And makes me think if all these while it's worthed me doing it.
A lot of thoughts still lingers within me, i don't know but sometimes when i think of such stuff, i will hold back for a while. But in the end, i still can't resist and try to do something i can to make things work.
If u know who and what i'm talking abt, you may want to talk to me abt it, but anything, i don't care. I don't know if u still read my blog, (and if u still rmb u said all these), you may want to think abt it. I don't know what's ur feeling when u told me those words. I really have no idea. I have no idea if we were still friends like we were.
Period.
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