End of 7th Year!

10 Sep Chamber Series concert marks the end of SYCO 2011. (Ok, there's still the reception). I hope I won't get emo then.

I remember 09 I wanted to stop because of the possible clash in school lessons and practice days. But somehow the schedule allowed me to go for practices, only to fill all my weekday evenings. Definitely one of my hardest year but I pulled through.

To be truthful, I can't really say which year I enjoyed the most. Every year there's something the same, something different. Every year there's a different feel. But I can safely say I became more and more attached to the group every year. And that's the exact reason pulling me back from the most cruel decision, and the thought of 'I  should have done it earlier'. But I'd say I have never regretted anything for SYCO for the past 7 years.

And now, it's time to make a decision again. To stay or to leave. I very much want to stay, then again, I had to consider some other things happening in my life, or I think I should be doing. Esp. when I know that some things are too difficult to achieve in the orchestra. But if I leave, it means I'll be left with no orchestras at all! And that is sad.

I don't know exactly, 2 voices are shouting out very loudly to me. 1 saying, 'Stay! Your passion, your friends are all there!', and the other saying, 'No, you should spend more time building your own career and stop wasting time because you are not young anymore!' Both are like damn true.

Like I always say, it really takes a lot of courage to give up something. Esp. when I don't even know if it's worth giving up yet since I haven't got any solid plan that will be happening for sure if I do. But if I do not give myself more time first, how do I execute any plan? Ahh!! Still a dilemma after all. I need more time.

Anyhows. I <3 SYCO max. Thank you people, again, for another wonderful year. :)

Don't ask.

Ending my 3rd week. 

Think about it, I've done a lot but haven't really done a lot too. Maybe there's just too much. And sometimes I just feel a little depressing looking at the current situation. But that is so not me, so I decided to take it in stride. Do what I can and take what is there for me.

Everyone kept asking me the same 2 questions of the past and current, and I already feel very sick answering them all the time. I wouldn't say what they ask, quite sensitive issues. And to speak the truth, I feel a bit embarrassed answering them. I hope they will ask me no more. :)

Perhaps, it was never a good decision from the start of this whole life. (not referring to this current job)

I'm enjoying what I'm doing to be honest, if only the returns are slightly better. And I'm not asking much anyway, so I need to do something more in my life. Just got to work harder i guess.