With CB also comes slightly more time on my own, means slightly more time to blog as well.
The month of June had always been exciting yet scary for me, ever since I don't know when. I'm not sure if the other June babies actually feel the same as me. But I remember feeling rather sad in school because no one really cares about June (and end Nov/Dec babies) because it's school holidays. And hence, no one really remembers or will celebrate with me. So far in my entire school life, I only celebrated birthday once in my school - Nursery at 4yo! And that's it. (Although there were some occasions my few friends do meet up with me to celebrate, I can talk about that later)
And as far as I remembered, only had 1 formal celebration ever, at 21yo. And that's all. I do understand that birthdays mean a lot for many, having parties and all. It was always a dilemma to me. I want people to care and celebrate for me, but I do not like the attention. You know the struggle? I'm not one of those who could take intimacy and compliments comfortably. I get uneasy and nervous when something like that happens. So I am also not the sort that will tell people that 'Hey, my birthday is coming up soon, shall we plan something? Or can we go somewhere?'
In the nearer years (maybe to what this blog can remember), I feel that I am sort of running away from my birthday whenever I could. Running away meaning to not allow people to ask me out. But actually, not many people ask me out on my birthday also, so I'd rather run away and pretend that all these couldn't happen. Many of my friends will probably classify me as extrovert - judging from how talkative I can be when I'm with them. Yup, only happens when we are in a group and probably when someone started the ball rolling. So, I have heard friends saying they would think I am always busy meeting people (sometimes true) and I most probably won't be free on my birthday, and so... I always end up without any dates on the actual day. Slightly sad. So I secretly plan quite a number of trips during my birthday. If not, I'd be going to work since no one date me out and my parents don't really care it's my birthday (I don't think they remember the date, tested and proven). And honestly, I never ever request or expect my friends to celebrate with me when we are on the trip, because to me it's good enough that I have company for the day.
Let's recall...
2019: Planned a trip to Taiwan with one of the closest group of friends - the syco大人s (most of them) - Van, Rach (&Ronnie), Boyi, Coconuts and Lixian. They did make the effort to get cakes without me realising. I really didn't suspect anything. Flew on the day of my bday. Also, delighted to receive a birthday greeting from the custom officer checking passports just after passing through the automated machines. Really made my day!
2018: Went to work on actual day. Had lunch with colleague at the now-closed Dulcet & Studio cafe at V Shenton. And had a pandan cake for celebration. Ramadan market after work and late night steamboat at Beauty in The Pot at the then ONEKM Mall (now KINEX) with Minhui and Ruching before getting home to get ready for a morning flight next day. And I was so full so I only ate 1 of the mini cupcakes from the entire tray and left the rest for the family. So I went to Myanmar with Sylvia, Sushi and Siyih accommodating to each other's schedule so the trip was rather short. But enjoyable, and I also didn't suspect a single thing when my friend here arranged with the hotel (one of her company group's hotel) to throw me a small party. I was really really really awkward I didn't know what I was supposed to do except to keep saying thank you.
2017: Actual day was in the midst of the trip of my life (for now) - London, Brussels and Paris. We arranged to go to Harry Potter Studio on that day. Experience of a lifetime right? No, I didn't tell the park it was my birthday so I didn't push the door open. I was too chicken to do it. HAHA. But I was glad the day passed peacefully, mostly in silence too. Nonetheless, I got tonnes and tonnes of love from my friends and colleagues. Colleagues recorded a birthday song for me with a cake (cake for colleague whose birthday also on the same day)! And flowers from the Royal Family although I never see it IRL, it withered before I returned from the trip.
2016: Friends asked me out! Woohoo! Marina Barrage with a few friends and thankful for them.. Siyih, Sylvia and Ling. :) I would have stayed at home if not for them.
2015: Went to work because... First month at work. But had enough cakes for the day. Lunch with Huilin and Rebecca and they got me a cake after lunch. Met my sister for Kit Chan's concert at night, she also got me cakes too!
2014: My most miserable year by far. Didn't have a job, running out of savings too. It was so bad. And I literally spent the day alone after having lunch with my dad. I guess he didn't even realised it was my birthday. I wanted to spend it with my parents but my mum went out, I guess she didn't remember as well. Although if you look at my instagram or the post of that year's birthday, there seems to be a lot of things going on in the month, but most of them were deemed part of my birthday because I made them. It wasn't exactly true that they were birthday celebrations. Anyway, on the actual day. I went to cycle on my own, because I can't spend too much money and I just needed to be alone since no one asked. I think that was the period I cried the most, but still appear to be happy most of the time.
2013: Taiwan! It's funny but I also flew to Taiwan on the actual day. With 1 friend - Sushi. Although I was ready to do a solo trip then, but it was good to have a companion since I wasn't soooo familiar with Taipei then. She treated me to Ding Tai Fung. I was happy enough to be able to go for that trip because I get to see Sodagreen's concert.
2012: Didn't blog about this year's birthday. I think I met the usual friends - Ling for lunch and then with the others - probably Yih, Sylvia and Sushi for dinner and movie? Maybe or maybe just dinner.
2011: Actual day in the midst of my Australia trip with Ling, Sylvia and Horng. They braved the cold at midnight to try to get me a cake while I was bathing. I was super touched. And we went on for good food all day long - Sydney Fish Market and also met my cousin and his then still girlfriend (now wife) for dinner and desserts. Really grateful for friends like them.
2010: Had a buffet lunch with the family and then watched an SCO concert. I think I met the rest of the sy people for dinner and they celebrated for me before we went to the concert.
2009: I was working (also new to the job so no leave) and watched an SCO concert at night. HAHA!
2008: It was my 21st Birthday. Nothing really happened on the actual day although we bumped in to the chalet, it was a weekday. According to blog, we went to kbox. HAHA! And I just played Wii with erjie and royston korkor. Although the weekend was really eventful. Thinking back, erjie was the one who asked if I wanted to celebrate my birthday in a chalet. Thankful, I remember how it sounded like when everyone sang birthday song for me. Really awkward but really wanted to cry because the reverb is just so amazing.
2007: One of the most ridiculous year. I went to queue 3hours for donut factory with a classmate - caiwen. We went out but didn't know what to do so we just joined the queue where we just sat down to talk while queuing. And I had dinner with family
2006: Worked at Samsonite and met the family for dinner at Kuishin Bo (Closed down liao! Due to CB) Ok, not exactly, they weren't doing well in recent years and standard really drop a lot. Or maybe consumers are more picky with more choices.
That's how far this blog goes, so I will stop here. I mean... looking at all these, and you wonder if I really don't care about my birthday? Then why do I blog about my birthday every single year. Oh well, just to keep a record of what happened, whether exciting or not.
Well... This year I don't have a choice but it will probably be good to just rot the day away at home. Took leave and I have the entire weekend to do it. It will be good I think.
IT'S COMING! I AM FREAKING NERVOUS AND IDK WHY! I just want it to pass but I'm scared of surprises, I really am. Of course, there are some things that I wish for, but I know it won't be coming true. Just that, I will be faced with disappointment again even though I already anticipated it. I'm a confused person. HAHA Just don't mind me.
*Anyway no one reads this anymore. It's just reminder for myself.
