The trip to Ipoh...

My second and rather impromptu trip of the year. But also an unforgettable one in terms of a series of events that lead to this already short getaway. My first ever time I double booked myself, to a trip and to a performance. -_-''' I really facepalmed myself. And... it was shocking because I found out when I was on my way to the rehearsal. And I suddenly remembered why I was more insistent on the other date at the start of the planning. The booking of air ticket was too sudden and rush that I didn't give the date another 2nd thought. And it was too late.

Then came the part on the decision. If I really had to choose 1 only, I had to give up the trip, it's sad but that's what I thought at that moment. But anyway I didn't tell anyone at that point, not laoshi, not any other performers, only the travel buddies, because they should know anyway. Of course, some told me to just say no to the performance, but if I had really done that then I'm no different from other people who just find many excuses to not be involved. But to me, I still love playing, still love music, and there aren't a lot of chances to perform anymore. So I really wanted to perform. I won't blame her for saying that so quickly, and thankful for others who understood. Afterall, I found my own solution and all, I don't really have to answer to anyone right? 

Just that it wasn't so easy. The only other flight in to Ipoh goes off before the performance ends, so no hope. No flights early next day as well, not even the same timing they took. Didn't know frequency was that low. So alternatively, I had to take a bus lor, night bus to be specific. Luckily it isn't too much top-up to begin with. And with the car we rented in Ipoh and their willingness to pick me up early in the morning, we are more or less settled, only I had to miss the first day with them. So my getaway was shorten to 2D1N, with the traveling time increasing from 3h (incl. check in all that) to at least 7h. 

And then, I don't know what I was expecting, but maybe if I haven't said it then I won't feel the way I felt after that. And so at this point of time, I still didn't tell anyone, until much later, I only told Hongqing I think. Anyway I didn't have the courage to tell laoshi lah all along.

But at the end of the performance, while wanting to let him know that I will come home on my own, I suddenly blurted out that I had to rush for a night bus that day. But, dang!, he said nothing, other than a short laugh. No words of appreciation. I thought about this whole saga about people not coming, that the orchestra is just difficult to sustain and that people are not appreciative of what he has done all these years. Rather than seeing it as a whole group effort, he chose to think that he put in the most. Yes, it could be true and none of us could exactly say that we put in our live to do it, but well, he got paid. right? And if he expects the appreciation to be only one-sided: he expects to be appreciated but doesn't expect himself to be appreciative of others, then this will not work as well, which is exactly what is happening to this orchestra. Praises should come from others, not always from yourself. 你伟大, 也没有那么伟大. 有一点小失望.... If you think that you have done the most and others haven't put in as much as you did, as time goes by, no one will want to work for you. 

Yes, it was my own fault, but you could have better handled it, or at least allow me to feel more appreciated. So after all, I have no more guilt towards this thing anymore because there is only so much he care about.

So it's my first time going out on my own, I was a little nervous actually. But things like that only makes people stronger, isn't it? But I really did something stupid, at the sg custom, even I don't believe it. HAHAHA! I alighted the bus with all the others and went into the hall and just followed blindly behind the crowd past the automated machines and joined one of the lines to the counted. For the longest time ever, I was thinking how come the queue is so slow, after like 10min, I saw another group of people coming into the hall and most of them went to the machines, that was when I really took a good look and thought the logo really looks familiar. 😅😅😅 That was when I realised that people around me are all holding msia passport and I should have gone to the automated machines. But it was too late, the queue was too narrow for me to head out again and I'm one person away from the counter. But I felt slightly embarrassed at that moment. LOL! I went to the counter and immediately I apologised, and at the same time he looked at my passport and laughed at me, asking if I knew I could have use the automated machines instead of waiting so long for the queue. (the waiting time was really long) I must have looked really sheepish at the counter, both of us laughing at myself. :x He is quite good looking I must say. 

Then I nearly went to the counter that says 'malaysia passport' at the msia custom afterwards, because all the other passengers on my bus were malaysians and I really followed blindly. :x

And so... now to the trip.

A relaxing trip, I want it to be. Thankful for friend who can drive. :) For food, scenery, fun and laughter. Went to the railway station, had to find out how does the parking system works. Did a few very expensive parkings at other places as well. HAHA! Went to 2 intended caves but only really managed one because we also don't know what exactly happened to the other one. And just eat a lot. Lol! Chicken rice, gui lin gao, hor fan, desserts, cafes and all.

I just feel that I didn't do much lor. And dang! we were back. Hahaha.

The only consolation is that I still manage to not waste the return air ticket. HAHA! :)

SydneYing with Family - Aug 2016

The trip had me thinking quite a bit, esp. about the parents. Not sure if we were too adventurous about this trip, that we haven't think a lot in their shoes. Yup, they'd enjoyed during the trip. But maybe we didn't prep them enough information before the trip because, we were all too occupied with other stuff. And it all started with the packing. Oh wells, I have to admit that I didn't handle it the best way I could. I was being authoritative. And I guess also because it is somewhere unfamiliar to them, they were slightly more worried as compared to, say, the HK trip we did years back. It's hard to convince them, isn't it?

小时候都是爸妈带我们出国，东西都是他们为我们准备的。现在长大了，出国有时也由我们决定，但好像不是准备得很好。这次的经验让我知道下次要带父母的时候得要再准备的好一些。虽然我们也没有让旅程太困难，也没有太无所事事。轻轻松松，尽量不让他们需要走太远，毕竟他们通常都跟着旅行团，都不需要走太多的。

But then again, it seems like they have enjoyed the trip. It's quite a mixed feeling ya.
Traveling in large number is not easy, esp. with a few folks. Of course, with my parents being the eldest. They are also game enough for most of the things we planned.

Anyhows, let's recount the trip:
Day 0 - 1: Thankfully the flight was okay. Because we booked separately because of the price, our seats are also split into 2 groups. I was seated with 2 aunts, but it was fun. Fortunately I have interesting aunts. haha

We got there early in the morning, while waiting for our rooms at the Meriton Service Apartment to be ready (we went there at 7am, of course it is still occupied), we got around for breakfast and met very nice servers already. Thankful for the good weather throughout the trip because it has been basically raining for days before we got there.

After the hearty breakfast, we got to Circular Quay to the Rocks market and then to the Whale Watching cruise. It seems to be a little heavy for the folks; even I felt nauseous on the return trip and just had to sleep through it. Nonetheless, it was quite breathtaking to watch the whales. 3 of them! (Book online for a discounted rate). By then we were quite jaded so we got back to the apartment and had some rest before meeting our cousin and cousin-in-law for dinner. Dinner at Bondi Beach Hurricane's Grill OMG I really miss their ribs. :D It was delicious. No wonder for the crowd right. :) And Ben 'n' Jerry's after that. A great first day ended with a visit to the Coles supermarket at the mall right beside our stay. (we actually went there every day hahaha)

Day 2: Started off with Sydney Fish Market. Oh yes, I loved the food there as well. All the fresh seafood, just too awesome. HAHA Had some really good oysters, lobsters, fish, crab leg. Just yummy.

Then went around to the Darling Harbour to look see look see because da-jie's boots fell apart. Went to The Star to just take a look at their casino. Apparently there's some texas poker competition going on. Went to the Sydney Wildlife Park because well, the zoo is too far isn't it? The aunts didn't go in, so well, we stayed but not too long... and I don't remember seeing the huge crocodile. Wonder where it went. Hmm...

Had a rather early dinner at Pancake on the Rocks (the branch at darling harbour), there was no queue. Desserts for the day includes Churros from San Churros at Darling Harbour Mall, Cakes and Macarons from Adriano Zumbo Patisserie and ice-cream. HAHA

The day ended quite early so the folks decided to make our own fruit salad for the night! :D

Day 3: Back to Circular Quay again, visiting somewhere I didn't go to the last time round - Royal Botanical Gardens. And yeap, passing by the Sydney Opera House means taking lotsa photos with the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge.

It was a sunny day and we had some trouble finishing the walk to the MacQuarie Chair, which is at the far end of the garden and suppose to have to best view of the opera house and the bridge. We gave up in the middle of the garden. hahaha. So we decided to proceed to the St. Mary's Cathedral.

Coincidentally we walked into a local food court in the heart of the CBD, of course, with the food prices twice of our food courts. 😅  Had some donburi, thai-style rice and dishes (our mixed veg rice), salad, Udon, Chicken strips. To be honest, they are rather tasty.

And despite the lunch, we went to Queen Victoria Building for high tea after that. Haha. Didn't go to The Tea Room but The Palace Tea Room instead. Well, it's just good to have a nice afternoon tea and cakes and scones in one of the oldest building around. 😁

After that we shopped for while waiting for cousin to knock off so that we can meet and go to his friend's place for a national day gathering. Honestly, we are a little out of place but nonetheless, thankful for the great host.

Day 4: K Mart in the morning, just behind our place actually, while sister and bro-in-law pick up the car from airport. Had a coffee from a what seems like a joint from Toby's Estate - great start to the morning. :) Head to Dim Sum at Marigold when the duo are back with the car. Seems like there are more variety since the last time I went there (I can't rmb) but the food isn't really fantastic. :( Slightly disappointed, but we didn't have chance to visit another dimsum place during the rest of the trip anymore.

And then something touristy - visiting the Paddy's Market, and all we did was get some touristy souvenirs. hahaha

While on the way to get the car, realising that we are near the I-Creamy that sells ice-cream cones with the ice-cream presented as a rose, we just had to go. Because we love ice-cream and we tamjiak and it looks cool and pretty. Turns out it's a company opened by Thai, it really takes someone with skills to make that rose. (Yup, we have seen and witnessed that not all the staff are able to form that rose). So it was worth the wait and definitely instagram worthy. 😍

Then proceed to May Street, recommended by Aunt, turns out the street art is really commendable, judging from the scale of each of them. Not an extremely busy street but still there are cars coming through now and then, how do the artist then even did it? Some are at least 5m tall. Took all the photos we could before the sun goes down anyway.

Dinner was this Japanese joint near the K Mart. So we had rice! haha Grill meat (chicken/pork) and onsen egg! It was delicious I must say. The salmon was good too. It was quite early when we got back but the folks said they were tired already, so the 4 of us secretly went to get Max Brenner for ourselves even though we were also full. And all the other shops have closed. :/

Day 5: Blue Mountain - Revisited places I have been and a few I haven't. We drove so we could take more stops leisurely. It was a long drive though... Staff at the Glenbrook is really helpful, gave us a map and suggested route and what we could look out for through the route. But poor judgement and memory (mine) for the first stop and hence missed a better viewing point for the waterfall, and we guess the folks are not very keen also. Oh wells.

So revisited Echopoint, then time really 3 sisters! 2 sets of 3 sisters, in fact! HAHA The wind was seriously, damn cold. Went to the Scenic World as well. Took what I took the last time - only with an extra trip on the cableway. They upgraded the carriages for the Railway. Looks more atas and safe now. Hahaha. Oh oh, lunch was at the Eats270 cafe with a view. The food was nice though there was a waiting time for the food and there weren't many stalls to choose from.

We don't want to drive too late into the dark and was also afraid that traffic will get heavy on the way back so we left late afternoon (3+pm) and got back to city around 5pm. And went to shop for our dinner at Coles. Bought roast chicken and got some salad and veggies and some wrap (that was a tat too thick to be a wrap in the end) to make our own chicken wrap dinner. We were fed with fruits. A truly healthier dinner. :)

Day 6: Spent half the day at DFO for some shopping, I think everyone got something, at least. Lunch was at the food court. (Yup!) Had some really good sandwich which Aunt shared with me and some nice pasta salad and what not, while the rest had their dose of the thai mixed rice again. Apparently, it costs 12AUD for a plate of rice with 3 dishes, regardless meat or veggies. HAHA That's like almost triple our mixed veg rice here. But it was truly nice also lah.

I had myself a superdry t-shirt, a pair of new balance, 2 tops from Esprit, some gift for a friend's baby, super nice lindt's chocolates (OMG we got about 1kg mixed flavours each, so it was super duper heavy) haha! Actually I didn't go overboard with my shopping right...

Visited the olympic stadium thereafter, which we aren't exactly sure which is the specific site we must go, so we just stopped outside the stadium itself and took photos. It was near DFO anyways.

And to the long-awaited University of Sydney. To do the grass shots. I mean seriously, the grass is just so nice you could sit there all day long. Okay, that applies to all the grass all around Sydney but the university one had a view behind which makes the place looks so nice. So anyway that's at the University Square, which is a highly sought after photo spot by many many other tourists (groups) as well. Jump shot is mandatory, and we even did some funny group photo outside. Lol. Weather and view was so nice you would just want to stay there longer.

It was still early to meet cousin for dinner so we went to San Churros instead. And funny things happened when we drove to town hall and park, just to walk all the way back to where San churros was, and right where we parked. Things that happen when you are new to a place and have no idea where your friend is going to bring you. But food was good! Had my fav salmon, which comes with some starch thing which I can't rmb its name. :x Mum order chicken with quinoa and salad without knowing what it was and didn't really enjoy until sister exchanged food with her. Had a great time at the restaurant korkor recommended.

And we were back to prepare to leave the next day :(

But before that, it means shopping at Coles again for snacks and all to bring back :D Turns out we still bought too much to be consume. I just realised a few snacks already expired. A bit heart pain, but also shows how little of such I eat nowadays. A reminder to myself to give them all away if I buy next time. I'm really not going to eat them.

Day 7 - LAST DAY!: Finally managed to convince everyone and squeezed enough time to get us all to Bondi Beach again, this time for Trio cafe because it was highly recommended. Indeed, the place was full and we were told the waiting time is 1h, which then will not be able to fit into our schedule anymore. But somehow the sister managed to get us all seats while some of us walked down the street to search for other options. We were seated separately but better than nothing! Food was great. And it's my first time seeing Bondi Beach for real and in the day. No chance to do the walks though. Next time if I decide to go again. haha

And then off to the airport we went.

All the food for June

You know, sometimes I read my old blog posts, fb posts and twitter and wonder to myself: what the hack was I writing about? The emotions were so strong in the posts but I just can't recall what they were about. I mean.. to think about it... Sometimes I know that when I look at it in future, it will be something I will remember, plus it's about someone I can't name so openly. So if it's something I can't remember, it most probably means that it wasn't necessary for me to even have that post. haha! It's so lame. But even so, that's okay because these are public domain and one just can't be too sure that any thing like that wouldn't go viral or known to that person eventually cos the world is just so small. BUT THEN... my written diary (yes, I still keep one).. No one is going to read it, except for myself, and I write like someone is. -.- I looked back and there are some things I cannot recall at all. And there's no way to check against either cos then it should have been the fall back part right. HAHA! What was I thinking, seriously. Anyway, so... I should share some positive stuff. :)

OH WELL... just when I thought birthday was over.
I have been meeting people and eating non-stop 2 weeks following the birthday (Birthday started on 11 Jun). And I'm almost dying from the food though I'm happy every single time with friends.

120616 is over.

也许现在我不太看重‘生日’这件事，有一点点是因为几年前认识了苏打绿以后青峰说的一些关于生日的事（就不必在这里说了）

谢谢看到脸书说是我生日然后用了几秒钟祝我生日快乐的人们。虽然不是一件什么大事，不就是打那几个字吗？但你做了吗？看着这些祝福的名字一一出现，不禁有些感慨。就连一些我不太熟的朋友都做了，有些多年的朋友却认为我不值得他生命里的几秒钟。好吧，就叹个气而已。因为是在意的人才会有这样的感觉的。其实我已经很高兴了，因为我没有想到会有这么多人不止用fb的方式，而是更直接的whatsapp :) 我觉得跟我想的一样，是更有意义的。

今年最大的不同呢，就是，我们15年的友谊就这样散了。因为除了我们几个以外，其他人都是如此的被动。谁都会累的。在没有人主动的提问下，被动的人就没有反应了。反正他们也都只顾自己啊。我们没有谁怕谁的，不知道是哪一边出了问题，无法避免的，就算我这几年多么努力的想把大家拼在一起，最后累的是我自己。不拼了，结果就是粘不在一起了。朋友也是两方面的，我想跟你联络做朋友，也要你肯付出时间和精力跟我做朋友才有用。最近终于看到什么朋友真心，什么朋友一向敷衍，或只是出于习惯跟着而已。

觉得很对不起常常以我们为重要的朋友出发的朋友，有时我会冷淡的对待，但是.... 现在开始我不会了。另外一群也是如此。也许，对他们来说，我也是出自于习惯的出现；可有可无。因为已经在一个群组里，不可避免的带着我一起而已。哈哈！

现在起做一个称职的朋友吧。

(朋友太多，但到最后，我从来就觉得选择比较重要的朋友是一件很困难的事）

And well, all these will be visible when the birthday comes. Why?

Real friends wish you happy birthday and ask for a meet up and really meet up with you. Or even, before the birthday comes, not even having to say it's for your birthday. Normal friends wish you happy birthday and that's it, or say meet up soon but that soon never comes. Effort is the word. 

Anyway I think that personally I'm quite an awkward person. I don't like all these stuff but I get a little disappointed at times when it happens to other people and not me. Haha. Just can't make up my mind if I want to feel awkward with all these people staring at me or sad that no one actually cares to plan a little. HAHA!

Time really passes so quickly. Looking through instagram having photos of past year(s) just can't seem to allow me to gauge how long it felt since the last, last last, or birthdays 3, 4, 5 years ago. It's amazing how my feelings haven't changed all these years; that I actually don't mind having the whole day to myself. 

And I will do it next year. I promise. 

說出來就好了

《放不下的活著》 - 插班生

今天會像昨天一樣吧
時間它走得多麼瀟灑
上一秒還好好的笑著
怎麼了

還以為開始慢慢忘了
還以為自己變堅強了
卻突然  聽到你最愛唱的歌了
又突然  整個心掉進黑洞了

放不下的  是你給過我的溫柔
想太多  才會把一切錯過
誰會預料  誰能接受
一刻不小心變成永遠的痛

放不下的  是沒對你說的所有
還有好多好多話想要說
你好嗎  聽見了嗎  想你了


原本就覺得是好聽的歌... 後來聽到933聽眾分享這首歌很有意義的時候, 多留意了歌詞. 感謝.
"放不下的  是沒對你說的所有
還有好多好多話想要說" 也許就是我最放不下的吧.


最近幾天小憂鬱了一下, 是很無聊的憂鬱. 但確切是為了什麼,也不太清楚了.
很想yolo一下, 但看來這次是不行了. :(
明年吧, 反正情況還是會一樣的吧.... 不是什麼高興的事, 可是我就是覺得還是會一樣. 我認了.
我對我的運氣已經不抱太大的希望了. 因為拿到這份工作的時候應該已經用完了,而且應該還不夠用. 明白就好 :(
明年就30了! 啊!
真的想一個人去走走啊... 還是只是因為快到六月了呢? 不知道為甚麼, 只要六月即將來臨, 我就有一種不安... 心裡真的好不安... 好像每天都有一千噸的重量在心上. 曾幾何時, 我多麼害怕生日的到來了呢?
而怕的理由竟然不是因為年齡長了一歲... 畢竟這麼多年來, 我從來不抗拒說出年齡這件事.. 所以這樣也是醉了... >.<

做決定的時刻

Don't know if I should take this trip. Either way they are places I have been... many times. HAHA.

But I've also been wanting to do a solo trip during my birthday period. And these 2 are my only choices, because I also happen to have friends in these 2 places. And I have just decided in my head that it will be Taiwan. HAHAHA =x Provided leave approved and parents not upset over me going alone without them. Cos mum had to say it that day that we should go taiwan next year. Right. It was supposed to be this year, but somehow plans changed.

[26/5/16] Okkkk.... I didn't post the above when I was trying to make a decision that day. And so, now I will do so. Decided not to go during the birthday period and put it off to next year instead. Well, 1 reason being the air ticket price has gone up over the past few days... to a price that I don't think I want to spend that kind of money. Another reason is when at least 2 people told me not to go. Because true friends will tell you the truth even though you are the only paying for it. As much as I don't want to be shaken by other people's decision. But I asked.... right? hahaha. Next year lah... I have a better plan for that :)

Gonna try to persuade mama to go taiwan in Dec first.... So it will be guilt-free when I decide to go next year. HAHAHA :D

All right.... 現在先透露到這裡，其他的下次再說。:)

An additional 'burden'

Today, it's the first time I pay for a TM Wealth Enhancement policy plan premium.

I'm not sure if it's just me or it's the same for people of my generation.

At this point of time, I am still very very very skeptical of what this plan will bring me, even with all the papers on the premium terms with exact numbers on it.

Not exactly skeptical on what I can get out of it after 25 years, more like skeptical if I will be able to fulfill the premiums fully before I take anything out of it. And that is scary because oh man... When I see "25 years" now I still feel the same: that's a hell long time! I don't even know what will happen to me in the next 5 years, let alone 25! And the nature of my passion and work made me more skeptical about all these. I don't even know where I will be working, if I will get married, have any children, have a house, have a car, or even, if I'll still be alive! 

So... I've been wanting to do something like that since I started working, but also due what I've gone through for the past 6 years... there was no security in my life, there is no stability and I can't afford at all, though it would have been better if I have started earlier.

Maybe I'm ready now, maybe I'm not. But I have taken a step. So I'll just have to do it now. For the next 20 years! :o

And then... down to the next thing I want to tick off my list. ;)

就更新一下

很久什麼也沒po了。

也許，有很多事情是不適合在這裡寫的。雖然我的人生也沒什麼好藏的，但也沒有什麼好分享的。就是一個‘無聊’。

除了工作，多數的時候都回家了。現在週末也不會一心想出門了。（有時大家在家的時候還是會）但我又不是那種沒事會一直問朋友要不要出去的人，所以特別的難。反正不是習慣一個人了嗎？

謝謝現在的我把很多的心情放在工作上，畢竟它佔了我們人生多數的時間。很高興我做的是我喜歡的。有怨言但也不太多，每個人偶爾都會埋怨一下吧。這個世界上不可能有完美從來不埋怨的人，所以我覺得《On Call 36》的‘車車’是不可能存在的。所以我當然也不會是一個聖人。但我卻學到了很多，領悟了很多，也很清楚不可能永遠賴在這裡不走，因為這個地方是沒有辦法往上走的。

Oh well, at least I have been and done it. Some day, I will go further. 

其實有蠻多心裡有一點開心的事，但覺得不好在這裡分享了。我知道就好。:) 

希望其他人有找到自己想走的路。也希望我可以繼續尋找下一個想要的東西。謝謝。

PS: Honestly, I tried to update a piece about some things worth noting from last year, but never got myself to do it properly. And I guess I won't be doing it now. Sighs. =x