Monday, May 29, 2006

Rejections and choices

Erm... i guess this entry is going to be very lengthy and erm... low spirits... so pardon me...

Well... basically i've received letters from both NTU and NUS... and sad to say... i got rejected by both schools... i'm quite shocked by it cos i tot i still had chances... although chances are not very very high... but it nv struck me what am i going to do if i got rejected by both until it really happened... i lost my direction... dunno where should i head to... thinking if i've really made a wrong decision 2 years ago... i always tot that this will be the path i will be taking... i've already planned my route since i graduated... but it's all finished... and now i got to start all over again... And i'm kinda stuck nowhere... Now i can say... so what if i passed everything~!? I can't even be compared with someone who failed gp... at least they are given a place to study already!!

So what's my next step? Many asked me... i said 'i dunno'... actually i very wanted to study music... but i knew that my mum isn't very supportive of the idea... dad was actually the one who read my mind... but i didn't say out that's what i want... then the qns comes again... violin... erhu.. which? on the other hand i'm also afraid that actually my knowledge very shallow for the no. of years i learn... that i will not do well... And i'm afraid too... being alone... in a unfamiliar environment... being such a pampered me... will i survive? But actually i do like to experience it also...

Ok.. that's one... then other unis in sg? I dunno... but i've nv tot of taking business courses... one other thing that interest me is actually arts management... that will be either lasalle or other countries again... but i'm not really sure about it... so still got to gather more info to see if it really suits me...

Then next.. NIE... it used to be the next step of my plan... and i didn't really want to forward the plan... and i didn't want to make it like getting in for the sake of getting a place somewhere... ya.. it's true that i always wanted to teach... but the qns is... will i make a good one? Esp. when i've met some teachers that are not very good and disliked by students... i nv want to end up to be one of them....

So far.. i haven got the guts and chance to tell my parents about it.. another reason why i always wanted to enter a local uni is that i didn't want to worry anyone... and also to lighten the burden of the family... esp. when my parents are already quite old... and i nv like changes... in fact i think staying in sg is good~ i will miss everything in sg if i really study overseas... so how?~! And imagine my mum asking me how and how and how... and nagging at me... saying that i'm lousy... or what-so-ever... or worrying for me whether i will have a good future.. and will have enough savings to pay for my expenses... all these... made me think be4 i approach them... maybe i need another 1 to 2 days to think it over...

On a lighter note... after tml... will be my off day on tues!! And today is a good day... cos after work... i went to the close door event to see if i can take anything off the shelf... and to my surprise... the price was good! so i bought myself a shoulder bag that i've been eyeing for... HAha... thou the colour wasn't the originally desired navy blue... but it's ok... sky blue is also nice... it's better than normal staff price lah.. too bad dun have the rabbit pencil case liao.. if not i sure buy one also..~ Haha.. so after paying for my stuff... i stayed there and helped there to clear the things... wonder if they will give me another 2 hours of pay.. HAha... even no... i also dun mind lah... at least i've got a bag at a good price... and i've got to eat with them too! HAha... went to 翡翠小厨.. and ordered erm... a lot of things lah... of cos is paid by the company... the funniest thing was.. when renjie came down to pass the key to sweeling.. he didn't know i was there too lah.. but in the end i was the one who called him to acknowledge my presence.. and he was shocked too.. haha.. and after that took train back with those living in the east.. mostly bedok.. and it was good but irritating entertainment by mark... he's really noisy man... cannot stop talking.. haha...

Ytd had a good dinner with melody and sylvia... quite some time since the 3 of us went out tgt... not so much of going out lah... i met them only after work... they were out in the afternoon already... so we went to 85 market.. sat there.. eat and talk and talk... till close to 11 then came home lor... tml will be meeting via again.. going to watch movie... Over the hedge... long time since i last caught a movie... i think it was last year end lor..~ HAha.. so kua zhang right.. but it's true... and i'm going to watch 2 in a row... another will be da vinci code on tues... hopefully tues i'm able to come home a little bit earlier to rest more.. heex...

Ok.. time to sleep!! Nitex!! Hopefully tml will be a better day... 明天会更好!! and hopefully i will come to a decision soon... advice anyone??

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