5 Years - Only I care but I really do

5 years

It may not seem long, but it's the longest I have been in a company, and I'm still counting.

Some thing doesn't seem long but it does. Eg. the song《不该》is already 4 years old and every now and then people are still singing it like it's the hottest song in town. Sodagreen has been gong for 3 years and it felt like eternity. The idea of long or short is a perspective. 5 years may be long to some and in some way while it's like an entire lifetime for some. "Are you sure you are only here for 5 years? You seemed like you have been here forever", one may say. "Wow! You have already worked here for 5 years, any plans of leaving? You don't look like you worked so long", another may say.

Yes, 5 years may seem long (well, not long enough for long service award at SCO). However, I'm still learning new things every now and then. About the work itself, about the people around. Although this period couldn't be more productive and fulfilling as the past, it really allows us to also restart the system. If possible, make it better. I can't say I'm the best worker through these years. I'm definitely not. Not the most hardworking, not the most on the job, not the most tidy person around. But I'm glad that I'm not a useless person around, and probably not someone who will get the complains. (I hope not) Hmm... now I ponder.

Overall, I felt blessed that I am still in a field I have passion for. I really still cannot imagine a day I have to work for non-arts organisation. I remember during one appraisal meeting, it was something about not making good enough progress (probably it was really stagnant for that year, I can't remember which), and ask me to think about why and how I actually made it to SCO. Needless to say, it was a reminder to me how many interviews, rejections and disappointments I have gone through to make it to where I am now. At that moment, I really felt that tears are welling up my eyes, but I really held back. Honestly, I was a little surprised because I suddenly felt that yes, the boss remembers and saw that in me although we never really knew each other much before coming into SCO.

It was true. I applied for a job at SCO for at least 5 times through the past 7 years from just before my last year of studies till I eventually get the job in 2015, trying out for various departments and positions without even considering if I really liked the department. But I specifically remembered 3 interviews - the one in 2008, where the current big boss insisted that I won't be able to cope with my studies and work at that time being a year 3 student, despite clearly stating that I do not have lessons in the day and in fact, I didn't have many modules to cover for that 2 semesters. Maybe he was right, but I just felt that I wasn't given a chance to prove him wrong. Eventually, I also got to know the person who got the job and is still in the company although she has moved to another department. The second one I remembered was halfway through AEB and we got to know that the programme will not be continuing the following year. The job advert came up and it was similar to what I was doing, so I applied. But I still didn't get it. And this last one that I have gone through, though the position was much lower than what I am qualified for, I guess I was mature enough by then to put it through nicely. And I must it is one of the positions that I really wanted. Also, not to forget my short little stint with the marketing department after I graduated.

Another reason was also because the big boss always mention the other colleague whom had tried a few times also to enter to SCO. And I always thought, hey, he is not the only one. Just because you were his mentor for his thesis writing in his college years doesn't mean you should only take note of him. In fact, I interviewed the big boss for one of my assignments back in Year 1 or 2 in my studies. And I didn't make less attempt or interest or ability to work here. But it's all right. It only meant that we have to work to please ourselves, not for others. As long as I have done my job, take up my own responsibility, I don't need people like him to push that kind of testimonial for me.

I must also remember all the time I couldn't find a job and was despair with all the happenings around me. This will remind me that I have to really work hard to keep me at where I am and to push myself forward because nobody else will.

5 years down. I will continue. Esp. when CB really makes me even more sure that I'm staying with the arts.