#RoadtoJJ20

 2022年11月4日，7pm 在 Singapore National Stadium 看了 #JJ20 演唱会。其實感覺蠻奇妙的。

還沒去的時候也不覺得，但JJ一說“20年了”，突然覺得... 哇！20年就這樣過了。這20年來我都和同樣的朋友一起出席所有JJ的大型演唱會。從還是學生的我們，只能買旁邊的票的我們，到現在是買Cat 1 票的我們，好像也是一件很難得的事情。雖然我們不是瘋狂追星的粉絲（我已經是我們當中最瘋狂的了），但我們也真的是從第一張專輯就開始聽他的歌。20年真的挺不容易的。

2006年6月24日，“就是俊傑巡迴演唱會 - Just JJ World Tour 2006”. JJ人生中的第一個巡迴演唱會新加坡場，也是我人生中第一次自己花錢買的演唱會門票，因為二姐沒有要去，所以我沒辦法讓她幫我付。這也開啟了我接下來的日子裡無數個自己花錢看演唱會的日子。這個博客頁面的Just JJ 標籤也是由這一場演唱會後產生的。現在還是回憶滿滿。雖然演唱會的部分已經記得的不太多，但知道當時肯定是開心、滿足的。

2009年3月28日，林俊傑世界巡迴演唱會 - JJ World Tour 2009，是很多人都不記得的一場巡迴，因為好像辦了兩場就因為聲帶受損的問題停掉了。但這一場我印象最深刻的是我們坐在 Cat 2 吧，舞台旁邊的位子，感覺近了許多，然後他全家人都在台上，演奏各自會的樂器（他爸爸媽媽都會華樂樂器，哥哥演奏的是鋼琴），跟他一起演出我當時很喜歡很喜歡的一首歌《醉赤壁》（現在還是挺喜歡的），到現在還是覺得那是一件很酷的事情。

2011年3月5日，I AM - JJ 林俊傑世界巡迴演唱會。我們還是在Cat 2（票價每一個新的演唱會都起$20），所以剛開始工作的我們也只能繼續買便宜一點的票。但這次好像又更靠近舞台了。還記得這一場的亮點是JJ畫了一個煙燻妝，原因是什麼我也不記得了。但是我們是覺得有驚喜，有好笑，畢竟看過煙燻妝的JJ。然後這一場的特別嘉賓是老蕭蕭敬騰，他們一起唱著Michael Jackson, 現場瞬間更 High 了。

2013年11月9日，時:線 世界巡迴演唱會 Timeline World Tour Concert。其實這一場和下一場我的記憶有點模糊。有一點點忘了時線原來有兩個不同版本。但這兩場演唱會應該是我第一次買Cat 1的票（那時候工作穩定，票價還可以 - $201），那時的票好像是跟JJFCSG一起買的，所以票位真的很好 - 在第6排！只是說... 我們和歌迷會在一起但我們又不是很積極的那種。還是會尖叫，會enjoy，但真的沒有要很瘋狂。我們好像記得當時出了因你而在專輯，所以哥哥有在台上和他合唱《飛機》，還有一如既往的會唱Michael Jackson 的歌，但這次有鍛鍊身體的他在唱 Billie Jean 和《就是我》的時候又大玩水，又把衣服給撕了。

2015年9月5日，時：線 - 新地球 世界巡迴演唱會 (安可場) Timeline Genesis World Tour Concert (Encore) 是我記憶中最好的一場。依稀記得這一場的票是朋友的朋友幫我們買的。是跟前一場差不多一樣的位子，但在另一邊，周圍都是這樣買票的所以大家都是比較冷靜的，所以看到的也比較多。然後，當時雖然沒有那麼好的手機，但是我當時有不錯的數碼相機（也是在上一場過後才買的），所以有拍到我自己到現在都還是很滿意的照片。而且他的臉我們真的看得非常的清楚，雖然說在出席他各個活動的時候也都看過了，但是還是會興奮吧。那時期比較有那種我想花多一點時間認真看現場的感覺, 所以多數也就是拍照, 沒有太多的影片, 但很多回憶就從照片中存在腦海了. 然後，這一場是最後一次我們花這麼少錢就可以看到JJ的演唱會。之後，一切都變了 :') 因為他更紅了。

2018年8月18日，聖所世界巡迴演唱會 Sanctuary World Tour Concert。是他第一次新加坡的演唱會有多過一場，而且原本只有兩場，但因為那兩場都秒殺所以最後變成了4場。原本覺得“哇！第一次有兩場，不如兩場都去吧！不需要都是最貴的，但我只是不想錯過。” 但是，票我就都搶不到，所以就只能去4場中的其中一場。不知道該不該為他高興的我，因為再也沒機會靠近舞台了。而且票價翻倍的貴。所以多買幾場也是不可能的事。真的QQ 不過託朋友的福，就算位子沒有之前的好，還是不錯的. 有買到票就不錯了. 那一次是我第一次覺得真的有可能會買不到票, 如果沒有買到怎麼辦! 幸好最後不需要擔心這個.

在那之後呢... 可能以後都沒有室內體育館的場次了. 唉...... 對他來說可能去了國家體育館後那種觀眾人數翻倍給他視覺以及整體反應的震撼力讓他再也回不去室內體育館的小規模了. 但對於我們觀眾來說, 卻又把距離拉得更遠了. 

2019年12月21日, 聖所2.0世界巡迴演唱會 Sanctuary 2.0 World Tour Concert. 買的最慘的一次. 這次靠不了任何人, 真的靠自己買回來的票. 也真的差一點就買不到了. 第一天開票的時候就沒買到. 第二天賣票時才勉強的買到. :') 雖然還是Cat 1, 也只能買到邊邊的票. 最後只能說... 好過沒有. 但這也是我非常幸運的一次, 因為在眾多人之中, 我竟然能被抽中參與林距離後台加油活動, 那時候各地的粉絲都能過來新加坡, 所以報名的人肯定很多. 他們只抽了2位, 我是其中一位, 所以真的只能是幸運. 演唱會部分我可能也不太記得了. 哈哈! 但在後台的部分我還是記得很清楚的. 以一個也是舞台工作者來說 (能這麼說嗎?), 去這麼大型的演出的後台是很神奇的一件事. 原來他們在開場前會圍一個大圈一起禱告. 我當時站在他的右邊, 另一位在他的左邊. 我也沒選, 只是自然的讓另一位女生先過去. 最後林媽媽來了, 就站在JJ的左邊, 女生就這樣, 被隔開了. 只是整個過程太長了握手心一直出汗. :') 所以一直有想放手的衝動. 但是很感謝, JJ和我右邊的dancer人都很好, 一直都是穩穩地握著, 直到最後.

2021年聖所終極站線上演唱會, 也看了. 雖然說因為很多原因, 在当天是什么也没看到。網絡的世界有時就這樣甚麼也做不了。雖然最後推了款，也補了觀看的時間，但是感覺已經不一樣了。可惜了，花了這麼長時間精心的準備，本來也是聖所完美的句點卻... 最慘的是竟然是sistic做的。哎... 

2022年其實沒想到會是JJ20的開始（因為2023才20年），也沒想到會從新加坡出發。最近聽到他的訪談說，人生能有幾個20年。還真的是... 我20年的青春也這樣獻給了他。😂 這句話是近幾年我一直聽到演奏家們說的一句話。的確，20年來算是我最瘋狂追的歌手。只有今年我覺得自己開始慢慢的脫節了。原因下次再說吧。沒有脫粉，因為我一直都是以“他唱歌很好聽”去追的。

若要細述這些年來我做的追星活動也太難了，畢竟有一些我也小小的忘了。隱約記得，早早的一次簽名會，我因為青年團有演出而請求二姐幫我去拿簽名。對是朋友的她來說是有點小尷尬，但是她還是去了。之後的每一個簽唱會、JJ Party、專輯宣傳活動、電台演出活動我都有去。曾經有一年我們就是一起到IMM去看。然後不管是本地的或國際的歌友會我都是第一時間參加，因而有特別活動能參與 -- 見面會、背對背擁抱拍照會、一起看電影 （抽中被喂爆米花 -- 真的很瞎很害羞的一件事，拍團體照的時候剛好坐到他旁邊）、更多的林距離見面會和拍照。但後來就有一點難參加，因為粉絲人數越來越多。（最近翻到以前的電郵才發現原來其中一場JJ Party 的票也是要用贏/抽的)

今年也有的，是演唱會後的第二天下午茶。我竟然在被抽中後猶豫要不要去。然後我就發現，因為我猶豫了，就表示我沒有要非去不可。而且我肯定是一個人去，突然覺得自己去會有點尷尬，畢竟不是少女粉，不會像以前那樣誇張的尖叫或興奮了吧？所以最後省下了錢、雖然可能這一年下來就沒機會了。

演唱會本身呢，看到舞台還是覺得很開心，因為太華麗了！就是覺得很了不起。雖然沒有很靠前的座位，該看的還是看得到，能參與的還是會參與到。雖然想聽到的歌不一定都有，但他真心想唱多一些歌，所以好一些都只唱半首，連接也很緊湊，還是挺用心的。只是... 影片真的可以少一點點，雖然那些影片都有一些意思，不过我覺得歌迷都是想多聽他唱歌或說話。然後演唱會還有最近我蠻常看的kpop dance 的元素 -- 喜歡！唯一真的讓我覺得奇怪的是現場為甚麼一直有人走來走去，還有一堆提早離開的人？呵呵。

還會去看JJ演唱會嗎? 會。還會那麼瘋狂嗎? 應該不會了，可能我會覺得，不需要買最貴的了吧。但是，又覺得可能真的會聽不到，那怎麼辦？#firstworldproblem 等下一次演唱會的時候再說吧。也有可能買不到票。

Progressing in Work

It has really been months. Many changes in life though many things stayed the same too. It was no doubt that I have become busier with all the new job scope (although nothing was written in the promotion letter). I have endless fitting sessions for the uniform, and nope, I am not done yet. I hope it will be by the end of this month, so that we can really get this over and be done with, because I have soooo many other work waiting to be done. Now we also have 6 musician positions (2 are the same instrument) to fill. I have never headed 1 audition, needless to say 5! It is definitely giving me a headache, given the tight timeline. Almost forced to the wall, and still have many other matters to manage at the same time. As much as I think I should let musicians do some of the work themselves, I feel a little more at ease to help them do it to know that it has definitely been done. So actually I brought it upon myself. 

It also didn't help that the colleague is not no longer in lead for the orchestra portion and will be waiting for me to voice out concerns so he can help. In a way it is good because then I get to make the decision but it worries me sometimes because I'm also not quite good at decision making. Actually, neither is he. 

And worse, he was out of action for almost the entire first quarter of the year. Poor thing regarding his health, but I would appreciate more if I was told earlier that I will on my own most of the time. We also had a temp staff for 2 months, and I thought I will receive help. I even briefed her on the rehearsal procedures and said will probably need her help. But never did she appear once without my exact instructions. I was too tired to deal with this so I just do everything myself. 

I know it is a bad habit because I seldom call for help and I sometimes do not know when I should call for help, unless someone asked. This is something I definitely need to learn. The problem also lies that I only trust my own work and sometimes I'm probably too shy to ask as well. 

So very drowned in work, although there is still a sense of accomplishment as I feel that I have grown again in this job and environment. I feel that I'm able to give more constructive recommendations and involved in more important discussions. It really helps to stimulate more brain activities to keep things going, even though it was really really tiring. :')

In the nutshell, I'm still happy to be here for the past 7 years (on 4 May), and I will maybe continue for at least the next few years. ◡̈ 

Affinity with CO

This may never be shared publicly on the company profile because l really suck at this. But as I read many of their entries, I do realise how attached I am to the company. If not, I wouldn't have tried so hard.

Honestly, I felt that anyone who is a fan of CO would have dreamt of working in this company before. I learnt of Sco in primary school when our instructors changed and they were all from SCO. I had to beg my mother a few times before I was allowed to attend a SCO concert back then. That was before the current home of SCO - SCH was ready; concerts were held in VCH back then. Obviously I don't remember the programmes anymore but if I see the poster I might have impression that I have attended some of them. That was how I connected with SCO.

With encouragement from my then Erhu teacher - Mr. Low, I joined the SYCO in 2005 and stayed till I had to "graduate" in 2013. From the orchestra, I have met many many likeminded friends, whom not only did we attend more SCO concerts together, we also hang out a lot in a large group before and after rehearsals for dinner or supper, watch movies, organize our own annual EOY chalet.

Aside from the fun, I also experience a whole range of good and challenging repertoire, got the chance to play alongside SCO musicians once a year, and also witnessed how a team worked behind the orchestra to make a concert possible. I knew I wasn't professional musician material but I'm still passionate in the Arts, so I gone to do Arts management instead.

Can't say I excel in the studies, and I'm also not exactly well-liked, and although my interest in another aspect of the Arts industry grew throughout my study, there's still this part of me that wanted to join this company, esp. at the end because I just want to show that I'm capable of doing it when the others didn't believe in me. Took me a few attempts across different job titles and honestly, after a while, I was not that keen anymore because I had tried too many times so I didn't feel like doing it again and again, like shamelessly. I also wanted to try other arts forms, esp. I was enjoying working with band and symphony orchestra at that time too. Fortunately or unfortunately, this final chance came up and it was quite a perfect position. (Maybe half perfect, I have always wanted to do programme, but I also wanted to do artist management). I only got the artist (internal) management part. But I was all grateful as I've been in the company for 6 years, which is the furthest I've come, yet. 

“你可不能走哦”，是我听到最安慰的一句话。差一点就要哭了。不管我做了多少麻烦他们的事，多少不好听的话，他们还是希望跟他们一起工作的是我，这就是信任。谢谢他们这几年下来愿意信任我，愿意和我分享事情，愿意跟我抱怨，愿意请我帮他们的忙，愿意带我一起做很多事情。很荣幸，很开心他们不嫌弃我。对我来说，与很多人都是公事，是公事就不会随便，但公事外还是可以是同事。其实我不需要他们喜欢我，我需要的是互相配合，互相尊重，但这些就是靠‘喜欢’换来的。工作上我问心无愧的平等的对待每个人。需要做的就得做，我只能表示同理心。

“同理心”应该是我最好的特质了。不一定一直做的好，但有着同理心总会让人感觉到我的真心。

With this, I also received my best present for the year. I just need to thank everyone for being patient with me. They could have complained about me for everything I did not so well. 

What surprised me more was during my appraisal, my boss asked me if I have plans for the years to come, and if I have imagined myself to be a HOD. Never. ever. Because I actually know that I can't lead well. I can't make good decisions on my own, I don't really know how to delegate jobs to other people and I prefer to do many things myself and my way. So I may end up like one of the previous HODs, which I think better not lah hor. Then again, this also led me to think more about what I should and need to do in future, and probably I need to plan for myself as well. This is a scary moment but also an exciting moment because I can now handle things on my own without hindrance (which is also the scary part because I cannot shun away from anything anymore OMG!). I'm more scared than excited definitely. But I hope it will be good. Definitely looking forward to doing more shows, and I also need to pray everyday that things will be fine - I will not be late; musicians will not be late; musicians can fit in their uniform, musicians remember to come to work, etc. 

With that, I hope for a better year ahead! ◡̈

More busy stuff

Continuously being busy, I'm still guilty of missing out stuff and doing very last minute things. I'm really glad that all the musicians are soooo understanding. I have never felt this way, and I'm not sure if it's because of covid that they have become more bearable with multiple changes and many last minute duties. Even though I informed them of something they have to do and have to come by company only a few days in advance, I never thought that no one said something negative to me at all (whether they thought about it I don't know and I can't care much). And some of them even thanked me for what I've been doing. Even though not all of them say, I'm already thankful for the little appreciations I get. After all the late night work, maybe I'm just not efficient. I have so many backlogs and I feel bad for not giving some information earlier.

Thankful that colleagues really believed in me and never question me too much. But can't help feeling a little guilty when I miss out like updates to musicians not coming and etc. But I'm the only one doing everything leh. :( 

Thankful that colleagues prefer me over other colleague, which also means, sometimes I do more. I've probably done like stage crew duty for concerts since last year, i think like 4 or 5 altogether and obviously he hasn't done any. And he said nobody asked him, while I have heard different stories -- that even though production side already told him he needs to help, he was nowhere to be seen during the rehearsal/show. hehe. And they wanted to reject the idea that I won't be down for duty next week! I don't know to be happy or sad. But I think through all these I also really learnt that their job is really not easy (I think I have said this somewhere before). I'm happy to let my colleague experience it a little (heard it's also quite tedious this time round), but also that if he does then he will have the chance to brag or "complain" next time. It's a dilemma but we are just going according to what was agreed and of course I don't want to overwrite this although I would rather do this concert than the next one for obvious reasons -- the soloists. LOL

But well, we should all have our time for things. At the same time, I'm still gonna get busy for the upcoming deadline. I'm just so nervous for the end product and the responses. I think I need to close my ears. Or just get my colleague to do it next time because he really gives no shit to what people say. I can't. 

Goodnight, got to gear up for the morning tomorrow. Com'on we can do it! It's just another 3 months till end of year!

Great to be Busy (I guess)

It's really been a few crazy months, even more so with all the changes and things that I have to do which I don't even know why. Yet, amidst all these, I have to find time to clear leave. And obviously, cannot go on leave with a peace of mind. 

All the things came at the same time previously. The uniform, the recording, the live demo, and all the concerts. As if it was not enough, there's also many changes to the concerts over the last few months, and the live demo got postponed, and the rehearsal schedules changed or got cancelled. 

Although it's frustrating for things to get cancelled or postponed at the last minute, I'm slightly relieved that the live demo got postponed too. It's really a dilemma whether I want it to be postponed or not. But if it haven't, then I would have died by now, manning everything myself. 

And of course, things happen here and there, one day my boss felt me when I approached her for some musicians matter, having to still deal with all the nitty gritty while being busy with all the big stuff. Yea, sometimes I really don't know if it's a blessing when I get approached so much more often than the colleague. Between doing up all the tables, papers, schedules, consolidation for over 50 people, arranging for 80 people to do their measurement, I also had to deal with the rehearsals, absentee, taking leave, scores and many others. If I really manage to pull it off at the end of the day, I really deserve to give myself a pat on my back. 

I really find no time for myself. Every day I just think of how much I have left, undone. And yet, picking up things whenever the others drop it. Suddenly some matters become my responsibility. It's really weird and I'm pretty sure that wasn't what was discussed previously. Honestly, I have already done everything I should, and shouldn't. I don't get it that I'm not the one who required all these, but had to be the one conveying the message when the decision maker is someone of so much more power than me. At the end of the day it really boils down to human relation, so many of them are so afraid to deal with musicians because they cannot treat them properly. I mean honestly, I always say this in defence to the musicians not because I'm trying to get their approval but I always treat them with respect and so vice versa. Of course, I have been friendly most of the time but I also know to be firm with them whenever needed. That's all was needed, it's not like I had to please anyone but doesn't mean I have to be rude to them just because they don't get it sometimes. 

At the end of the day, I know that they will appreciate what good people have done for them. And even when I had to be the baddie sometimes, they still are thankful for what I could do for them most of the time and believed me because I don't cover things up. If I'm wrong, I just apologise and move on. And they are forgiving because they know it's genuine. But some people are really fake, if you don't mean it then don't say it. 

And it's weird that all the responsibility really came to me. I remembered they say that they didn't need us to be there, just maybe the first day. But this person has never been present and left all the matters to me. So at the start I had to decide if we could let the musician continue recording, actually, I shouldn't be the one deciding. I was never part of the production part of the videos, so I don't know why I was there. Requirements was not said properly, I only remembered them saying musicians could wear anything they like but be presentable. I didn't know what was the set up like because I didn't need to know, so obviously I wasn't there for the set up but they expected that I should know what they wanted the video to look like, which I have no idea. So attire was informed at the last minute, fine. So similarly, I wasn't the one who required the look, but the boss has requirements but didn't want to inform musician directly when we are all in the same zoom (but I was on leave or away so I didn't catch it in time). That wasn't the deal really. 

But my boss is really a hero. She saved me today from a musician's enquiry and hand it back to the other boss doing it. Although musician might still be unhappy at the end of the day because it's really not our problem with this. And they could have better manage it. Oh well, all boils down to our technicians forever unable to support things fast. If they could answer my question in the first place yesterday then there wouldn't have been so much trouble. But it's okay, their boss should solve it anyway. 

And then, I believed that the dates shouldn't have been done by me. It's funny that the programmer did not even know the postponed date, which was already discussed earlier as the contingency plan in the meeting, which I had to miss due to something else. And again, her boss (that same other boss) didn't inform her that the announcement has been made. Can't believe that I had to do all these. 

Though MH is also sad now, because she should have been free by end of the month from all the solo stuff, now that the demo has been pushed to Nov, she's not any better. But previously when she asked when will I then be freed from these, honestly it's really when they go on bloc leave. I don't want to even think about it. 

And then there are people who talked about how to clear their annual leave when they have x number of days left like it's impossible and feels like it's a chore. It's really a no-wonder that he doesn't have a girlfriend. I had more days and it's even more impossible for me to clear. I just give a smirk in my heart. In the end? He had to go on leave for his family matters, though still had to deal with some work stuff. But ya, next time be careful what you wished for. There you go, clearing your leaves now so you don't have to go on 3 weeks' leave at the end of the year. I guess that's good news for yourself. Meanwhile, I still have 10.5 days to clear after taking a day this week and another day 2 weeks later. We have concerts every week in Oct, and almost all of Nov as well. 

I'm just tired thinking about it. On top of all these, more care package for the company and probably some events as well. Just afraid that at the end of the day I'm the one doing everything again. Like all the other care packages, whether was it under R-Team, company or the board's name. I did EVERY SINGLE THING for these 3 packages, under the name of everyone else. I think because I really just didn't know how to delegate work for others to help -- the reason I can never be a leader. Well, that's another story altogether. So I really want to give myself something good after all these ◡̈ 

Wished all these busy times were spent doing proper concerts instead. I really miss doing concerts after concerts, performing everywhere for everyone. We can only hope. 

Little happy things in life - Bday V34

So I always think that it's okay, my birthday is just another day, because my family is cool about celebrations all the time. We just take it as an excuse to eat something nice together. We don't even do all the cake cutting or bday songs most of the time. (also, just excuses to get cakes to eat. haha)

So this year, I decided to join my friend - June at her place, for our birthday, because same bday! Really fun and relaxing, just talk, eat, watch tv and play games. 

Speaking about this, it's quite amazing that I have really met a lot of friends who had the same bday as me. From pri school, it was Matthew Chin. And then there wasn't any in sec school though someone was rather near. But i knew Chek in JC and Tingkai in syco. And then I also got to know Jade from LASALLE. And then in SCO, there was Joshua and Kimberly, though both of them left. So there's June and I left in sco. Hahaha. 

Thankful for friends whom sent things to me, even though I already said I have loads of food in the fridge. HAHA! And I didn't even send anyone anything this year. :x I'm sure all my friends are more thoughtful than I ever am. Rach and Van went to queue for puff and peaks because I kept on posting that I didn't get to pre-order but didn't post when I finally did. The queue was crazy, but I'm glad they liked it too. (I think so lah hor) And Rach texted me to say she can share my things in the fridge just to confirm what I have but they happened to be already in the shop. HAHA! And delivered it to my place, and even sent me down to serangoon ◡̈

Then sushi also confirmed that I'm still at home and walked over with the delivery from Chye Seng Huat in the crazy weather. Lemon tart, banana walnut loaf and cold brews. Really happy leh! 

And the crazy girls who came to my door at 12am. To be honest, I checked their location. But I was almost sure they weren't doing it, and of course I forgot to prepare myself for it. So I was totally unglam even though I realised at the last few minutes that their location was off! But I also didn't put too much hope in it. Still, phone call came at 12am sharp. they were shocked my background was dark. (my entire house was already dark) I would have gone to sleep actually but decided to force myself to wait till 12am to see if miracles happened. HAHA. The reason I half expected this was because MH already knew I'm going to June's house so no way they can do it in the day. But I didn't guess what they will come with. This MH was asking me what do I always order from Mosanco cos I really always do and I thought she needed some advice. She came with 8 bottles! hahaha so whatever I said was ordered for me. LOL! 

I haven't had cold brew for quite some time and it was really a pleasant surprise. At least I could drink faster than I eat all those food so I was happy to receive them! 

Thankful for all these friends with efforts to my day special. I don't think I'm a really good friend to them. But after all these reflection recently, I will treat them better than I do. I even forgot that I wanted to get coffee for June. :( But I will definitely get her some the next time I see her. :) Because she got me a present too! yay!

Boss also told me she left my present on my desk and decided not to send food cos I have already gotten plenty. Came to work with a pleasant surprise of a mug filled with cats and local use of 'lah' i's a 'lah' mug. It was so cute! 

Thankful for little good things happening in life amidst all the bigger sadder things due to covid. :) 

我的太空人一号

“太空人已连接”

是我这几个月最喜欢听到的话。他让我什么时候都想用一用耳机。（虽然本来就常用）

今天（25.7.2020) 我的太空人竟然不见了。。。

完全在伤心中... 只是... 又能怎么样呢？能做的我已经做了。只能怪自己真的太粗心。后悔也没有。早知道也没用。

It felt like I never had any affinity with earphones/earpieces. Oh man... I lost quite a few of them and spoil a few as well, within like the 1 - 2 years? Or all along. I remember I had this rather cute doraemon one, and I only used it for a while before it got caught onto something while I was walking and poof! the cord snapped and that was the end of it. 

The jays earpiece. Put one into the washer after say a year? And lost the 2nd one after a month, unknowingly. I still have the 3rd one though. But let's not jinx it. 

And so, I'm still going to get my 2nd pair of the 太空人 because, I need that Qingfeng voice. 

而且，他们售后服务真的蛮不错的。既然钱都要花的，就花在我喜欢的吧。他说会给我打折，希望会有。其实就算没有，我还是会买的。只是可能会在迟疑一下下。没想到马上就下单了，这应该是他们的行销手法吧。哈哈。遇到这种事，总会买账的吧。以后小心一点就是了。

以自己的声音宣布 - “太空人已失联”

准备迎接太空人二号。

Birthday V.33

June passed by so quickly, not sure was it because I was on leave most of the days so time really passes in a blink (sleep in my case). 

Let's just recap a little on the birthday. Despite the many things we couldn't do this year, really thankful for friends who put me into their thoughts. I really didn't expect most of the love I received on that day. Not sure what I have done in my life to deserve all these people. I was touched by every single one of them because nobody sent me anything I didn't like on my birthday. I can't even put it out like what I'd prefer from what I received. But steamboat was definitely the most amazing. Because it fed all of us, including my erjie and bil. Thankful too that they were allowed to come over then. There there were cupcakes, taiwan food, bbt, cakes and ice-cream! I've been contemplating ice-cream for the longest because there's not space in the freezer most of the time but le mother couldn't complain when it's from someone else. And pretty long lasting dried/fake flowers too! It was just.. pure amazing that things happened this way. I was so well taken care of the entire day that some of the things doesn't matter anymore. And wow, this is probably the only year that we are able to do things like that. 

Not much feelings towards the birthday, but I felt blessed even during a period like that. Friends who gave selflessly. We couldn't meet so I won't mind if we can't celebrate. They sent me things that they couldn't enjoy with me. Just by the thought of spending that sort of money and time to think of what to send me is already something I couldn't ask for more. It is definitely a different birthday after all. 

With Taiwan food (my fav 卤肉饭 and Meesua and BBT!!!) from the syco大人s who thought that I'll be sad not being able to be in Taipei "my homeland" during my birthday, so they gave me a pseudo taiwan trip. They even got to my sister to plan it so that I will not get lunch. The thought of it is just... I'm so touched! (although I got confused as I thought sis ordered lunch but didn't know that the lunch is from them)

I got ice-cream from SSS (sushi, siyih & sylvia), from gelatissimo and got another pint of ice-cream from joanna. Ice-cream is always on my mind. hahaha

I got cupcakes from qin and my hospital playlist girls (Minhui, von and Shihui). There were too many so erjie took some. But the ice-bear ones were pretty! 

I got colourful mermaid drink and cheesecake from le colleague QW. Delivery person didn't give me the receipt nor told me who is it. So had to do a shoutout on IG. WHICH... also happened exactly the same on his bday! HAHA It's so funny!

Got a bottle of jap wine from Ting-Yu. Can't wait to try it! Yup, I haven't. But I will. After which.. a few days later, Fontane also gave me a soju (peach) and a pack of korean snack so that I can experience Korea at home! HAHA my friends know me well. 

And the SHE girls are the ultimate! To send me some very pretty dried flowers and then the steamboat. The flowers came first so I really had no expectations that the steamboat followed. They went to the extend to use MW's sis to msg me on whatsapp so I can't suspect anyone. Indeed, I had tried to guess for the first few days and then I gave up. They were one of the possibility but there was no way I could find out. 

And yup, my sister came with a cake! Nice yummy really rich chocolate cake from all time fav Lynda Ann's. We finished that in one seating. Nothing was left. Also another blessing in disguise since I haven't been able to celebrate my birthday with the family on the actual day for many years (for several reasons). So this also gave us this chance to be together on this day! And it's also thanks to the steamboat! 

Except for good memories for the day. 

I actually also spent most of the day doing nothing and then filming for the hospital playlist video. And then coincidentally, a few things I bought also came on that day. So all in all, fulfilling day! LOL!

1206 Past Year Events

With CB also comes slightly more time on my own, means slightly more time to blog as well.

The month of June had always been exciting yet scary for me, ever since I don't know when. I'm not sure if the other June babies actually feel the same as me. But I remember feeling rather sad in school because no one really cares about June (and end Nov/Dec babies) because it's school holidays. And hence, no one really remembers or will celebrate with me. So far in my entire school life, I only celebrated birthday once in my school - Nursery at 4yo! And that's it. (Although there were some occasions my few friends do meet up with me to celebrate, I can talk about that later)

And as far as I remembered, only had 1 formal celebration ever, at 21yo. And that's all. I do understand that birthdays mean a lot for many, having parties and all. It was always a dilemma to me. I want people to care and celebrate for me, but I do not like the attention. You know the struggle? I'm not one of those who could take intimacy and compliments comfortably. I get uneasy and nervous when something like that happens. So I am also not the sort that will tell people that 'Hey, my birthday is coming up soon, shall we plan something? Or can we go somewhere?'

In the nearer years (maybe to what this blog can remember), I feel that I am sort of running away from my birthday whenever I could. Running away meaning to not allow people to ask me out. But actually, not many people ask me out on my birthday also, so I'd rather run away and pretend that all these couldn't happen. Many of my friends will probably classify me as extrovert - judging from how talkative I can be when I'm with them. Yup, only happens when we are in a group and probably when someone started the ball rolling. So, I have heard friends saying they would think I am always busy meeting people (sometimes true) and I most probably won't be free on my birthday, and so... I always end up without any dates on the actual day. Slightly sad. So I secretly plan quite a number of trips during my birthday. If not, I'd be going to work since no one date me out and my parents don't really care it's my birthday (I don't think they remember the date, tested and proven). And honestly, I never ever request or expect my friends to celebrate with me when we are on the trip, because to me it's good enough that I have company for the day.

Let's recall...

2019: Planned a trip to Taiwan with one of the closest group of friends - the syco大人s (most of them) - Van, Rach (&Ronnie), Boyi, Coconuts and Lixian. They did make the effort to get cakes without me realising. I really didn't suspect anything. Flew on the day of my bday. Also, delighted to receive a birthday greeting from the custom officer checking passports just after passing through the automated machines. Really made my day!

2018: Went to work on actual day. Had lunch with colleague at the now-closed Dulcet & Studio cafe at V Shenton. And had a pandan cake for celebration. Ramadan market after work and late night steamboat at Beauty in The Pot at the then ONEKM Mall (now KINEX) with Minhui and Ruching before getting home to get ready for a morning flight next day. And I was so full so I only ate 1 of the mini cupcakes from the entire tray and left the rest for the family. So I went to Myanmar with Sylvia, Sushi and Siyih accommodating to each other's schedule so the trip was rather short. But enjoyable, and I also didn't suspect a single thing when my friend here arranged with the hotel (one of her company group's hotel) to throw me a small party. I was really really really awkward I didn't know what I was supposed to do except to keep saying thank you.

2017: Actual day was in the midst of the trip of my life (for now) - London, Brussels and Paris. We arranged to go to Harry Potter Studio on that day. Experience of a lifetime right? No, I didn't tell the park it was my birthday so I didn't push the door open. I was too chicken to do it. HAHA. But I was glad the day passed peacefully, mostly in silence too. Nonetheless, I got tonnes and tonnes of love from my friends and colleagues. Colleagues recorded a birthday song for me with a cake (cake for colleague whose birthday also on the same day)! And flowers from the Royal Family although I never see it IRL, it withered before I returned from the trip.

2016: Friends asked me out! Woohoo! Marina Barrage with a few friends and thankful for them.. Siyih, Sylvia and Ling. :) I would have stayed at home if not for them.

2015: Went to work because... First month at work. But had enough cakes for the day. Lunch with Huilin and Rebecca and they got me a cake after lunch. Met my sister for Kit Chan's concert at night, she also got me cakes too!

2014: My most miserable year by far. Didn't have a job, running out of savings too. It was so bad. And I literally spent the day alone after having lunch with my dad. I guess he didn't even realised it was my birthday. I wanted to spend it with my parents but my mum went out, I guess she didn't remember as well. Although if you look at my instagram or the post of that year's birthday, there seems to be a lot of things going on in the month, but most of them were deemed part of my birthday because I made them. It wasn't exactly true that they were birthday celebrations. Anyway, on the actual day. I went to cycle on my own, because I can't spend too much money and I just needed to be alone since no one asked. I think that was the period I cried the most, but still appear to be happy most of the time.

2013: Taiwan! It's funny but I also flew to Taiwan on the actual day. With 1 friend - Sushi. Although I was ready to do a solo trip then, but it was good to have a companion since I wasn't soooo familiar with Taipei then. She treated me to Ding Tai Fung. I was happy enough to be able to go for that trip because I get to see Sodagreen's concert.

2012: Didn't blog about this year's birthday. I think I met the usual friends - Ling for lunch and then with the others - probably Yih, Sylvia and Sushi for dinner and movie? Maybe or maybe just dinner.

2011: Actual day in the midst of my Australia trip with Ling, Sylvia and Horng. They braved the cold at midnight to try to get me a cake while I was bathing. I was super touched. And we went on for good food all day long - Sydney Fish Market and also met my cousin and his then still girlfriend (now wife) for dinner and desserts. Really grateful for friends like them.

2010: Had a buffet lunch with the family and then watched an SCO concert. I think I met the rest of the sy people for dinner and they celebrated for me before we went to the concert.

2009: I was working (also new to the job so no leave) and watched an SCO concert at night. HAHA!

2008: It was my 21st Birthday. Nothing really happened on the actual day although we bumped in to the chalet, it was a weekday. According to blog, we went to kbox. HAHA! And I just played Wii with erjie and royston korkor. Although the weekend was really eventful. Thinking back, erjie was the one who asked if I wanted to celebrate my birthday in a chalet. Thankful, I remember how it sounded like when everyone sang birthday song for me. Really awkward but really wanted to cry because the reverb is just so amazing.

2007: One of the most ridiculous year. I went to queue 3hours for donut factory with a classmate - caiwen. We went out but didn't know what to do so we just joined the queue where we just sat down to talk while queuing. And I had dinner with family

2006: Worked at Samsonite and met the family for dinner at Kuishin Bo (Closed down liao! Due to CB) Ok, not exactly, they weren't doing well in recent years and standard really drop a lot. Or maybe consumers are more picky with more choices.

That's how far this blog goes, so I will stop here. I mean... looking at all these, and you wonder if I really don't care about my birthday? Then why do I blog about my birthday every single year. Oh well, just to keep a record of what happened, whether exciting or not.

Well... This year I don't have a choice but it will probably be good to just rot the day away at home. Took leave and I have the entire weekend to do it. It will be good I think.

IT'S COMING! I AM FREAKING NERVOUS AND IDK WHY! I just want it to pass but I'm scared of surprises, I really am. Of course, there are some things that I wish for, but I know it won't be coming true. Just that, I will be faced with disappointment again even though I already anticipated it. I'm a confused person. HAHA Just don't mind me.

*Anyway no one reads this anymore. It's just reminder for myself.

Rocky Road to Work Life Story

11 years since I graduated in May... and 10 years since I started working (full-time mostly), also in May. It took me almost a year to get a full time job, and hence 10years.

Nonetheless, it was still a bumpy road from there. So I haven't actually worked for 10 years' in terms of actual work. In fact, in between I had really long breaks, till the point I was really scared. And those breaks were like what I'm doing now - Staying home most of the time.

And not all was good with the first few jobs.

Since May 2010, My first full time job was at CFA which lasted a year, second full time job was at DYMC which also lasted year, third one was around 1year8months in AEB. And this is my fourth full time job for 5 years now. so as you can tell, the numbers just don't add up. I worked for about 8years8months and the remaining 1year4months, I'm either not working, or working as a temp.

Anyway, from the very beginning I was really set to get a job in the arts. Either it really wasn't easy, or I was really not cut out for the jobs, there was also a limit to the job title I was interested in. Anyway... the first year after graduated passed by as I did 1 month (or so, max 2 months) temp at CFA, 3 - 4 months temp at SCO Marketing that ended on 31 Dec 2009. And was jobless all the way till I went back to CFA for the same position again (contract this time) in May 2010.

So, that was the first official job, not well paid - diploma starting pay 1.6k, take home around 1.2k. It was considered a full-time job as it came with all the remuneration package, which actually was quite good. At least food in nus is cheap and quite good. Lasted for 1 year, though they said because I could do better elsewhere and didn't want to keep me there with that little amount and the amount of work, I think they felt that I under performed because they didn't even ask me if I was ok on the job and if I wanted to continue. I was quite sure they told me during the decision meeting that the workload wasn't enough for my position so there was also no point, and if I didn't remember wrongly, 不要耽误我。However, I knew that they hired someone before I left although that person only came after I left. A poly grad I think. I was hit quite badly, I acknowledged that I haven't done enough, but really there wasn't much to do at many instances. Maybe it was my problem after all, so never mind.

Obviously I wasn't prepared to leave the job so I didn't think so much and didn't have a lot of time to react. I even booked a long trip in June. So after that first job, I didn't work for 3 months until I was approached for the second job. There was a lot of struggle because the company couldn't pay a normal salary. But I was also desperate so I started in Aug 2011 and I was paid 1.2k for 4-day work week. And I actually agreed. I wasn't doing well in the second job, maybe I was really just incompetent, although there were many things lacking in the company. There were fun times, but mostly, it was bad and I had to endure the 'you are the only one paid in this company' throughout the year even though they know it's peanuts. It was also a year's contract they offered in the beginning, they decided to re-contract although they were not satisfied with my performance. Thinking back, I never left anything undone, but I didn't value add to the company as well because I tried a few times and was brushed off, so eventually I stopped and of course just spent time doing nothing in the office and do only as I was told. But that is being non-initiative. Whatever. Anyway, I was lucky to be able to find the third job so I quit and went over to AEB, almost immediately in Aug 2012.

It's the time I thought I was the most fortunate. A total change of environment and not needing to deal with the same people again. At that time I was really happy because all the colleagues were super nice, and though there were some difficulty in working with some of the band and orchestra instructors, I was quite mature in work by then and could handle most of them. It was a refreshing idea for me. Sad was when the contract ended when the programme came to a close with no renewal, and I had the hardest time ever. I went to an interview at sco in between but I wasn't chosen.

I went on 3 months without any income, after the first month, I was struggling to keep up with myself and my other friends. Because there were also other friends who quit their job at that period of time, we spent some time together, but after that they all moved to their next destination and I didn't have anywhere to go. And that made me even sadder. Eventually, I was thankful to receive help from AEB to let me return as a temp staff in End June, but I was not earning much because of the very supportive job scope they couldn't pay me better. I really had the hardest time from end Mar till end Sep because there is the sudden cut of income, and that's 6 months with no income for three or very little income for the other three. Previous times were not as bad because the income wasn't that much anyway. So I was really living in misery and I cried a lot in this period.

It was only in Oct 2014 that I was transfered to the other department with more responsibility and there I was paid like a normal person, in fact, better than when I was working full time contract for them just that I was paid daily instead of monthly, meaning no work, no pay. Although I met other fun and interesting temp staff there, I wasn't happy that entire period of time. I was doing all paper work and back back end support for SG50 projects related to MOE, it was interesting because there were many many different projects, like I met a lot of people, get excited about their project and they were all thankful of what we were doing. Somehow it really wasn't what I wanted. And I really was struggling because I was also looking for full-time job at the same time but I didn't get selected for any. Went for a few interviews but none were successful, which is also the same case for the period after my first job. That was also the period of time I spent a lot of alone time, because I was upset most of the time but I didn't want to tell any of my friends. And not many friends ask me out on weekends. I spend a lot of Fridays on my own, eating at a quiet place and walking home sometimes on my own. I wasn't close to anyone during that period.

So for the empty periods, I didn't feel good the first time round but the second time was really worse because it is happened again, even after I had a few years of working experience. It is not normal and everyone knows that you have to have some explanation for this empty period. Because employers will definitely ask.

Going for sco's interview in Apr 2015 and eventually starting in May 2015 was the best thing that happened to me in that 2 years. I was in despair, but luckily I didn't give up. And actually I wasn't looking for a job that time because I was supposed to do SG50 till end 2015. I was actually told by a friend to submit my resume quite near to the closing date because I didn't know they were hiring but my now boss had my friend to pass me the message. I went for it, despite knowing that it was an entry-level job. I was obviously over-qualified for the job but I was really determined to get it. I still remember the thrill and the butterfly in me when my now boss called to offer me the job. My hands and my voice was trembling with excitement because I couldn't believe that it's finally happening to me - the only good thing happened to me the entire year. And here I am, still in the job. Gotten better in between.

One thing: self-reminder how hard it was for me to get here and only with that I will continue to work harder. 10 years of working and on!

5 Years - Only I care but I really do

5 years

It may not seem long, but it's the longest I have been in a company, and I'm still counting.

Some thing doesn't seem long but it does. Eg. the song《不该》is already 4 years old and every now and then people are still singing it like it's the hottest song in town. Sodagreen has been gong for 3 years and it felt like eternity. The idea of long or short is a perspective. 5 years may be long to some and in some way while it's like an entire lifetime for some. "Are you sure you are only here for 5 years? You seemed like you have been here forever", one may say. "Wow! You have already worked here for 5 years, any plans of leaving? You don't look like you worked so long", another may say.

Yes, 5 years may seem long (well, not long enough for long service award at SCO). However, I'm still learning new things every now and then. About the work itself, about the people around. Although this period couldn't be more productive and fulfilling as the past, it really allows us to also restart the system. If possible, make it better. I can't say I'm the best worker through these years. I'm definitely not. Not the most hardworking, not the most on the job, not the most tidy person around. But I'm glad that I'm not a useless person around, and probably not someone who will get the complains. (I hope not) Hmm... now I ponder.

Overall, I felt blessed that I am still in a field I have passion for. I really still cannot imagine a day I have to work for non-arts organisation. I remember during one appraisal meeting, it was something about not making good enough progress (probably it was really stagnant for that year, I can't remember which), and ask me to think about why and how I actually made it to SCO. Needless to say, it was a reminder to me how many interviews, rejections and disappointments I have gone through to make it to where I am now. At that moment, I really felt that tears are welling up my eyes, but I really held back. Honestly, I was a little surprised because I suddenly felt that yes, the boss remembers and saw that in me although we never really knew each other much before coming into SCO.

It was true. I applied for a job at SCO for at least 5 times through the past 7 years from just before my last year of studies till I eventually get the job in 2015, trying out for various departments and positions without even considering if I really liked the department. But I specifically remembered 3 interviews - the one in 2008, where the current big boss insisted that I won't be able to cope with my studies and work at that time being a year 3 student, despite clearly stating that I do not have lessons in the day and in fact, I didn't have many modules to cover for that 2 semesters. Maybe he was right, but I just felt that I wasn't given a chance to prove him wrong. Eventually, I also got to know the person who got the job and is still in the company although she has moved to another department. The second one I remembered was halfway through AEB and we got to know that the programme will not be continuing the following year. The job advert came up and it was similar to what I was doing, so I applied. But I still didn't get it. And this last one that I have gone through, though the position was much lower than what I am qualified for, I guess I was mature enough by then to put it through nicely. And I must it is one of the positions that I really wanted. Also, not to forget my short little stint with the marketing department after I graduated.

Another reason was also because the big boss always mention the other colleague whom had tried a few times also to enter to SCO. And I always thought, hey, he is not the only one. Just because you were his mentor for his thesis writing in his college years doesn't mean you should only take note of him. In fact, I interviewed the big boss for one of my assignments back in Year 1 or 2 in my studies. And I didn't make less attempt or interest or ability to work here. But it's all right. It only meant that we have to work to please ourselves, not for others. As long as I have done my job, take up my own responsibility, I don't need people like him to push that kind of testimonial for me.

I must also remember all the time I couldn't find a job and was despair with all the happenings around me. This will remind me that I have to really work hard to keep me at where I am and to push myself forward because nobody else will.

5 years down. I will continue. Esp. when CB really makes me even more sure that I'm staying with the arts.

Journey to the 3rd Conducting Workshop

People always say "Practice makes Perfect". You may think that after doing the workshop for 3 times, it will be an easy piece of work. I would love to think it that way as well. Then I realised that was also the very reason I think I didn't do well enough, because of complacency. I knew that everything will turn out just fine.

I made a few mistakes this time round, in my own opinion. But no one reprimanded me in any way, not yet. But I will reflect upon it myself first. To be fair to everyone and myself. But I'm thankful for people who came in to help at the very last minute. MD, the conductors, the composers, the colleagues, and the participants as well. No one was being difficult at any time of the workshop.

Let's recap.

The first time I heard about and knew I had to do this project was 2 months into my job here, 4.5 years go. I was afraid and nervous all the time. Because I wasn't close to anyone it was really hard for me to get any good help. When my boss handed the news and all those things to me, she told me that people have been informed, and all the information are available... To my horror when I approached the people, nobody knew what was going on. No pianist engaged, no conductors involved and what else I can't even remember. Actually I think even the repertoires wasn't confirmed. I was told in July, the workshop was due to happen in end-Nov. I had about 4 months to get everything together. Meaning, to get colleagues to contact composers to have their composition reduced to piano version, get the pianists to commit their time, do a write-up for the event, draw out the timeline, put up the application form for people to sign up, coordinate with the conductors to view the application videos, eventually choosing suitable applicants as active participants. As well as, do all the emailing work, seating plan, schedule planning, etc. and the actual execution of the workshop.

At the end of the day, the workshop completed with some glitches, esp. when I didn't manage to control the timing for the podium session, due to many reasons. Haha! Also, all the participants were drained due to the long long hours every day, trying to squeeze everything into those short 4 days. That was when I promised that I will make it better for the next one.

I would also like to think that doing this contributed greatly to my promotion 1 year later.

The 2nd workshop happened in 2017, nothing much changed, I had slightly a little more time. The challenge was that we were having it in a less than satisfactory environment due to the hall undergoing renovation. All orchestra podium time were held in the Exhibition Hall, including the Final Presentation. The concourse was undergoing works so the building honestly didn't really look safe to be in. It was embarrassing I must say, though the participants didn't say it. And everyday I get complains from my colleagues about the lack in space in the hall and yet I wanted to add in more and more chairs.

Another challenge was when there were a lot of pull-outs from the programme and eventually we only had 6 participants. But, with lesser participants, it also gave us more leeway on the extra time allowance so there were less worries each day. Allocation was also pretty straight forward because there weren't so many pieces. The only constraint was really the room space, for participants and observers. We could only house very very few observers and they are all seated behind the winds section, which means they probably can't hear a lot as well. The good thing for me was that I had to sit next to MD and it was easier to manage his time. At the presentation, all the pieces were repeated; poor soloist also had to play extra although we cut the piece so that he only play one of the movements twice.

And then... after that workshop, again, I tried to suggest some other ideas and first and foremost is to make the final presentation an evening show so that we can draw more audience to support the participants. HOWEVER, dates were given without negotiation and obviously we were consulted, so the idea had to be compromised because there was a major concert going on the same week by the sub-CO, sy. Planner didn't even consider anything. Yup, the workshop may not be planned by them and they may think it's just an extra project that the company is doing, but well, I think that other than the programme itself, there are many other factors to consider. SY thinks that they are not the priority, but I felt the same way. Maybe then it's time to do it themselves so that there will not be clashes like that?

So just when I thought everything was planned out properly for this year's workshop, there were many many uncertainties, because there were too many variations available, a lot of things can happen and there is no just 1 formula for it. I blame myself for delaying a few things. But was also a little frustrated that some of the things were not done by other departments supporting. Of course, of course, even it's not my fault that I have already informed them earlier, it's my fault that I didn't follow up and caused things to be done last minute. And some of the things still was never done till the very end, and I also think that they have conveniently forgot about it altogether. At the end of the day, I really thought I single-handed managed the entire thing, except for some stuff that I really cannot do myself. I'd probably do them on my own if I have the resources. It was little of a pity that we couldn't reach out to more people but I was glad it went well. With a little overrun on 2 of the sessions. But honestly, I thought I have tried to make changes, but looks like I haven't done enough. I feel that I have made conscious effort to review every single session and provide views on how we can do better for the next one, but it wasn't recognised. Oh well... we will see for the next one then.

提醒：35歲的目標

又該提醒自己35歲的目标了。呵呵

1. 還是存錢，雖然還是沒存到很多。哈哈還是買房子吧。一定要有自己住的地方。
2. 想要真的談戀愛...
3. 還要做喜歡的事情--現在的工作。
4. 一年至少表演一场。不然全部都会忘掉的，而且真的会懒惰。
5. 去一次美国、意大利、日本、韩国
6. 学一学钢琴／吉他

第二項真的想刷掉了。因為有沒有，現在真的也不影響我的生活，除了有時候會因為身旁很多人有伴而讓我感覺朋友都沒了以外，單身畢竟有單身的優勢。如果有一天愛情來了就來了吧。如果沒有，我知道，會難過，但也可以看得清。

It's not like I haven't tried. Maybe some things are just not meant to be. Maybe it's just my character to put people off, and that, I can admit although I also think I'm a good person overall, I am not an attractive person. Oh wells. So I guess nature's course is that I stay where I am and how I'm like. If no one had liked me before. they will not also now and future. And I really don't believe in love at first sight and meeting people I didn't know on first meeting. So I really cannot. I will just let it be.

No. 1, I'm still trying hard. Nothing raises too much. HAHAHA oops. And I really wonder where I wasted all the money. Hehe.

No. 3, I'm still keeping my cool. This year I really picked up some shit. Although I also left a little shit, actually that was last year. This year I have done better I feel. Though still procrastinating most of the time and messy all the time. Oops. But to be fair, I have never been neat till I need to.

No. 4, yes, I really did and I really tried. LOL! Even practiced hard for 1 of them. But laziness caught me this year end and I cannot see myself practicing, now, literally. The pieces are too difficult and I cannot condone with less than good performance.

No. 5, ERM. The post was done in Apr 2018 and I did go to Korea last year end. :D YAY I achieved one! And Japan is next year in 2020! And to be fair, this year most of the trips I really also went to places I've never been to. Exception is part of Taiwan, and I planned mostly places I haven't visited as well. Plus a trip to New Zealand. Wasn't in the plan and it was really good.

No. 6, nope, didn't do any. HAHA Well, I'm not 35 yet, I still have some time to go. :D

As for any other things, look, I haven't even fulfilled half of this list, what rights do I have to add new ones? So yup, I'm going to stick with these, until I reach something else, or something else really important comes along. :)

2018 旅 · 三 · 玩

2018年最長的旅程，是十二月的韓國。終於去了。說也奇怪，好像許多人說影像中我常去韓國，所以都是說我‘又’要去韓國了。不過，實際情況就是，這是我第二次到韓國而已。畢竟台灣比較像我 ‘家鄉’。呵呵

一共去了17天，還蠻驚人的吧。因為我們三個人從來沒有一起出國，是第一次，就是這麼長的一次。還好我們還是朋友。哈哈！不過說真的，幸好有她們兩位，讓我不需要做什麼功課，也因此沒有對時間分配做任何的考慮。也就是說，I'm the freeloader for this trip! 還好她們沒有嫌棄我。呵呵。就這樣，在首爾晃了6天，到釜山5天，再到濟州島5天，再回去首爾1晚，然後我自己搭了飛機回來。

在首爾的日子，好像沒做什麼。有些想去的地方/想做的事好像也沒做。但也真的是以休閒的度假為日了。而且，有了遺憾以後才可能會再去。哈哈。可能就首爾吧，上次去韓國（12年前的2006年）好像對首爾也沒有什麼印象了，除了去了首爾塔，然後天氣不太好什麼都沒有看到。哈哈！

這次真的比較多都是吃到很好吃的東西，想念了啊！

細說這次的旅程是不太可能了，就說一說一些記憶點吧。撇開最讓人記得的許小姐需要到醫院一事，然後必須裹腳，可還是堅持後面的她們自己留下的十多天，還是有很多事能說的。

1. 在首爾第二天早上起來第一眼看到的是窗外的雪! 開心! 下的雪有點大, 我們等到了中午才出了門. 但其實出去的時間不太長. 去了宗廟 (Jongmyo)，由於沒有別的華族旅客，所以我們有專屬的導遊帶我們走完當時沒什麼人的宗廟。

2. 去採草莓。哈哈哈！許小姐完全不吃草莓，但不介意跟我們一起體驗，當天也下了雪，有些冷，但採草莓的地方很美。還有隻shiba inu，沒有什麼其他人所以蠻享受的。做了草莓麻薯，很好吃但是真的很醜。哈哈哈 結果我們帶回住家過了一兩天沒吃就硬掉了。:/

3. 逛了好些超夯的地方 - 我們住在弘大附近，自然有好些天都在那裡活動到。Sinsa-dong (Garosugil Street), Common Ground, 明洞 (myeong-dong), Seoul Station, 等等。

4. 去感受一下 Runningman 的感覺。我真的太爛了。沒有達標... 只拿到一個小小的禮物沒有證書。 哈哈！不過蠻好玩，蠻刺激的。

5. 唱K! (노래방) 新的體驗很好玩。完全是你要怎樣就怎樣。真的非常有限的唱這一些比較熟悉的歌，也有一些中文的啦。系統還可以改變歌曲的真個風格，有一些真的蠻好笑的。是因為打發時間臨時找的活動，還是好玩。

6. 雖然覺得在首爾好像沒做些什麼，但釜山和濟州島都是滿滿的行程。Gamcheon Cultural Village (감천 문화 마을) 是一定要去的啦，我們在那裡的時候天有些陰，有些顏色不太好看，如果天氣再好一點就好了。Haedong Yunggung Temple, 在沿海的一座廟 - 海東龍宮廟。很大的一個地方，只是除了那個就沒別的了。在 Haeundae Beach 看日落。Busan Oryukdo Skywalk 也很漂亮，從岩邊伸展出去的透明走道 - 想起了RM在那裡受懲罰的三位臭手。真的沒有那麼可怕。

7. 在Busan的其中一天租了車出去另外一個地方，要開4小時的車才會到。安排和Oryukdo同一天，因為開車比較方便。途中看到什麼就吃一吃。哈哈。去的是Pohang 的Hand of Harmony, Homigot Sunrise Square (호미곶 해맞이광장)。日出時會陽光會打在從海裡伸出來的手掌，就像用手捧著太陽一樣。但我們到的時候太陽是快要下山的了。所以另一面的陸地上也有一個相似的手掌。

8. 在濟州島的過聖誕。去了市場買了非常多食物回房裡吃。真的是聖誕大餐！結果就是吃不完。哈哈哈！

9. 去了好幾個景點。Jeongbang Waterfall 超美的，還映出了彩虹🌈。在Songaksan等日落，非常非常的冷，因為在海邊的關係。而且風很大。不知道我們哪來的勇氣和堅持，在完全沒有任何遮蓋的情況下在那裡等了至少一小時。冷死了我們三個人。下山的時候我們都非買熱飲不可。Seongsan Ilchulbong 也蠻美的，然後有海女示範她們潛水捕魚的程序。佩服她們，都是年紀不輕但是很健康的阿姨們。

10. Jusangjeolli Cliff... 是我們那一天唯一的行程... 因為有人出事了。嚇死人。還好那個地方不大，需要帶走的路不多。

11. 不知道我哪來的自信和勇氣，和鄭小姐一起去爬 Hallasan. 只能說，沒有鍛鍊真的不行啊。想要攻山頂也不是我能力能負荷的事。不過我真的盡力了。並且肌肉繼續疼了好幾天。幸好或是不幸，到了攻頂前的最後休息站時，上山頂的路已經封了，不讓人再上了。雖然還沒到截止的時間。緣分吧。哈哈哈，還有，在下山的時候滑倒了兩次，早知道就不逞強，穿上釘鞋。還好有蠻厚又長的外套，畢竟連這樣尾椎都疼了好幾天。累死寶寶。

12. 最後在很早的時候自己搭了一小時又多一點點的地鐵到機場。拉著一路上沒什麼變重但是最後一晚在COEX狂賣的食物而變重的行李... 地鐵的位子因為導熱越坐越熱。哈哈哈！畢竟坐了那麼遠的車程。結果有些遲了，幸運的被放到比較好的位子（因為一個人的關係）。要過海關的人真的很多，導致我真的有些不夠時間。還硬要到星巴克買個杯，並把固本用掉，領了一杯聖誕飲料，有點連走帶跑的步伐到登機口。呃.... 沒有人了。哈哈哈在關鍵時刻上了飛機 😅空少是帥的，而且聲音是好聽的，只是...他應該... 呵呵你明白的。

剩下的記憶都是食物了。好到我現在還想念著。

1. 弘大那條街的Hotteok應該是我最想念的。真的好好吃。

2. 也是弘大那裡 - 一家雪濃湯... 冬天吃這個真的有溫暖的感覺。而且他們家的kimchi真的好。

3. 去了幾個海鮮市場，東西不便宜，但都很新鮮，吃了生的(?)小章魚，花蟹，還有花蟹膏煮的飯真的超級棒。還有那些生魚片...  想念啊...

4. 人參雞湯。怎麼會這麼好？哈哈，已經無法形容了

5. 怎麼可能少了韓國燒烤呢！去了Jongkook和Haha的店，還有幾家別的，怎麼都好吃。當然，其中一家是我們在Hallasan之後去的一家。真的不是因為我們爬山累了才覺得好吃的。哈哈！

6. 韓國炸雞。也是最棒的。尤其BBQ Chicken的。（是，賣的是炸雞沒錯）雖然多數的時候都是叫的外賣，但真的還是很好吃！

7. 炸醬麵，終於有感覺runningman吃炸醬麵的感覺 🤣

8. 鮑魚粥。真的很好吃。這個好像是在濟州島第一家酒店附近，老奶奶用了蠻久的時間準備，但是真心好吃。真的吃到一滴不剩。

9. 咖啡... 和各種糕點。最想念的咖啡是在釜山的FM COFFEE。本以為關了，結果google還是有用的。走了一些路終究有找到。也是唯一我們想盡辦法寧願繞路再回去買來喝的咖啡。

這樣說來，韓國好像還有蠻多值得我留戀的地方。哈哈哈

不過，跟其它地方一樣，暫時不會再去。雖然我自己認為留了遺憾，但也留了很多回憶。

2018旅 · 二 · 游

在2019年的第一趟旅行前，先把2018年的弄掉吧。

2018年的第二趟旅行，跟家人一起在高雄、台南和台北过了7天。我真的觉得，每一次和家人一起出去，真的又会学到些什么。

原本觉得自由行能让大家有比较多空间安排行程，不会那么累，可以依照自己的时间和空间安排，没有拘束。结果，好像不是我们想象的那样。也是我们做子女的不够细心，父母又是非常的迁就。第一天到的时候就让大家累的。

因為不知道高雄車站那裡在施工，有些路沒了，酒店當然也沒有說明，結果近在眼前的酒店得走天橋才可以到達。有行李啊! 幸好有位好心人有幫忙行李提上橋。真的感激! 所以到達飯店check-in的時候，我已經快瘋了。還是先沖個涼才可以出門。聰明了，先問好櫃檯怎麼到車站比較好，原來有別的路能走，月台上的天橋也在這段時間讓人過橋到對面。在附近找了一家餃子館，好好吃，價錢也公道。

到駁二去，拍照，在禮品書店逛了一陣子，吃甜品（天氣太熱了），在商場裡逛了逛，在食閣吃了有些偏貴的關東煮。哈哈。然後到美麗島站看看燈，然後到了六合夜市吃吃走走。耶！

第二天，把行李寄放在車站，吃好早餐後也差不多了。然後又到美麗島看燈. 特別時段有燈光秀... 但結論就是... 看原本的燈就可以了，不必等到特定的燈光秀... 或者，業者可以試著把燈光秀弄得更好，更有看頭。搭了火車到台南。印象中的第一次！哈哈, 一切順利! 台南住宿的飯店真的很不錯. 離台南車站很近，而且旁邊就是公車站. 當然, 天氣還是很熱! 先到孔廟去, 算是台南的名勝之一. 先在路口看到台南膨餅, 買了幾個試看看. 跟想像中得不太一樣, 但還是蠻好吃的.

之後就到了附近的莉莉水果店吃冰. 超爽的! 然後去了林百貨，還逛了蠻久的。雖然是個80多年的公司了，但裡面除了賣一些比較傳統的美食、茶葉外，還有很多他們本地設計師的物品。然後到了蝸牛巷，走一走，拍一拍照。具體很多細節不太記得了啦！😅😅😅不過，晚上是到了大東夜市。還好朋友早說了台南的夜市不同的營業日，所以那天是非到大東不可的。人很多餒！具體都吃了些什麼其實有點忘了哈哈，但是！有吃到很脆很好吃的蔥油餅！

第三天，走走玩玩安平區。安平樹屋、安平古堡、博物館還有億載金城。門票一起買是有優惠的，加上赤崁樓。吃了飯店的西式早餐就出門了。天氣實在蠻熱的。全程拿著雨傘遮陽 哈哈哈。安平樹屋裡面沒什麼東西，但有好些地方都可以拍拍照，還蠻有感覺的。安平古堡更簡單了。就是有個觀望塔，但是大家有些累，沒人想要爬樓梯，所以我自己上去了。果然是能居高臨下的看一看周圍。吃完飯後在旁邊的一家小店吃面和滷肉飯，和好吃的海鮮卷，然後走安平老街。看到有賣棺材板的攤販就非吃不可。哈哈！走完後剛好到車站搭公車到億載金城、看一看大砲。感覺就像我們的 Fort Canning。接著吃晚餐 - 在舞鶴小炒。

第四天，去了還幾個地方 -- 正興街、赫赫有名的赤崁樓、神農街、國立台灣文學館、巨大扭蛋機和花園夜市。我們記憶裡的赤崁樓是因為以前的遊戲節目 - 少年兵團之你要去哪裡。少年看電視的回憶，所以去一下還是必要的。哈哈。一早在勝利早餐店吃好後去了正興街，可能太早了，街道有些安靜，買了杯奶茶走一走一些已經開門的店家，有幾家店還蠻有特色的。然後就去了赤崁樓，反正已經有票了。之後就在旁邊的小月擔仔麵吃午餐。之後去了神農街感受一些些文藝氣息。😂走累了當然是找個地方喝咖啡吃甜品 - 選了一家非常復古的太古101咖啡。所有的擺設都非常非常復古，後面竟然還有一枚旋轉木馬的木馬，而且在室內真的就拜託了外面的大太陽。之後還有一些時間，所以去了原本沒安排的國立台灣文學館。其實真的蠻不錯的。況且老爸本來就喜歡文學，正好。有一部分也介紹了台灣的原族民文化。晚餐不記得吃什麼了，但後來就去了花園夜市 - 有吃到好吃的牛肉湯！哇哇哇！

第五天，在台南的最後完整的一天。去吃了台南特色早餐 - 阿堂鹹粥。是不錯，二姐喜歡的口味。我只喜歡某一種，另外一個有個我本身不太想接受的味道。呵呵 煎魚肚是好吃的。過後就到了奇美博物館。很有歐洲特色的博物館，真的有讓我不禁想到前一年的法國之旅。白色的建築物，取用羅馬和希臘的古典元素，圓形頂蓋、高圓柱(Columns)，還有館外以希臘神話雕像組成的橋，在走進本館之前就花了一些時間拍照啊，也真的美啊！館裡的展覽也真的很多。走完了出來已經是午餐時間，去吃了溫體牛肉鍋，在一個不怎麼方便也不怎麼起眼的地方，但的確好吃。之後去了十鼓文化村...... 這個就除了有幾個值得拍照的點之外呢，真的可以不用去。哈哈哈 裡面有個文化表演，就...... 如此而已。把園區逛完後，回到市區內，還有一些時間就去了藍曬圖文創園區。又是個文青的地方。可以裝一裝也不錯。呵呵 結果晚餐就在對面的商場裡解決了，回到飯店在周圍的店家買一買東西就差不多了。

第六天，要離開台南，然後以為時間還早，就在飯店附近又走一走，有個早市，還蠻熱鬧的，有得吃有得買。然後我們回到飯店取行李的時候驚然發現記錯了我們高鐵的時間，已經來不及了。結果就還是去了台南車站，得搭火車到高鐵站。對號入座的票無法使用了，只能在普通區搭下一趟車。幸好台南是尾部，所以我們都有位子，不然真的QQ。

終於到了台北！在台北車站吃鬍鬚張滷肉飯豬排飯。然後二姐去剪頭髮，我則帶了其他人到西門町逛，吃雞排。之後跟二姐會合，逛了誠品，到了師大夜市，吃我想念的燈籠滷味。還是一樣好。上次去竟然沒開！

第七天，一早去了依然還是最愛的阜杭豆漿吃早餐。是我排隊最長的一次。暈。真的很長。之後去了四四南村，有週末市場！上次去的時候什麼都沒有。哈哈！然後又去了一次台北101的星巴克。:) 然後去了幾米車站/巴士，以月亮忘記了為主題的巴士。美美噠! 然後去吃了快炒 - 炒豬肝超級好吃! 每一趟真的都會認識到新的東西。

第八天，也是最最最後一天了。一早去了佳德，因為一整個星期他們因為中秋節放假了，第一天開門。雖然有很多產品也來不及做，只有鳳梨酥類的，也好。還有曾拌面! 我們也真的蠻厲害買的。哈哈哈。回到飯店check-out，最後去了永康牛肉麵！和Smoothie King... 真的超級想念永康牛肉麵的。嗚嗚嗚......

多數時候還是好玩的，畢竟和最親的人在一起。對不起的是多數都沒有專車，都是自己搭車，自己走，拿著行李搭火車，其實他們應該有些吃不消的。真的還是要多為他們想一想。所以，又學到了一課。

還想帶著他們嗎？想，但要想好行程，要安排周到。最好可能還是旅行團吧。但是呢... 爸爸現在好像哪裡都不敢去... 那該怎麼辦呢？🤷🏻‍♀️😔

2019年跟家人哪裡都沒有去。。。

30th Birthday Trip - London Part

Don't really want to share any negative stuff here, especially about this trip, supposedly so dear to me. So I'll just share the happy stuff and the experiences. (Just that... I don't know where to start)

Though I may not say it's a fun trip, it is still a great trip for me. This is my dream, my first time going to the UK and Europe (part of). It was an eye-opener for me, it's kind of like what I expected, but better. I think I love it more than I thought I would. :)

Let's do the London part:
And so Day 1 (9 June, Fri)... we reached there at 7am, got to our airbnb apartment at Peckham Rye area around 9am and well, there was not much time for any jetlag. haha! So we were out and going after settling and resting for a while. Honestly need some resting from the stairs! At the train stations, and the apartment itself. Narrow stairs in the apartment doesn't help. HAHA! The apartment was okay, it was a little dark on the living room side though. And a little far away from the city. Took us some time and much more pounds to travel out. But at the same time, a little closer to some places we had to go, and it was extremely cheap compared to the hotels in town. I guess there's a give and take factor in everything we do. But no, not this apartment the next time round. Haha!

So... we went to the Natural History Museum after a well, not-so-nice McDonald's meal. HAHA! The museum was cool...... despite some of the exhibits looking worn and weathered by human beings. It was so huge we were a little confused if we have finished all the exhibits. And then to Victoria and Albert Museum... Statues are massive. Day 1 was rather short because we were still quite tired. Turns out places around our area really closes very early. Managed to buy some groceries from the supermarket nearby though and that was lucky enough. haha.

Day 2 (10 June, Sat): Went to see the Colonel's preview of the Queen's Birthday parade. Quite cool with horse guards, marching bands, soldiers with hairy top hat. So cute. But the weather was really hot. Sun has no mercy on us the entire morning. Shake Shack burger for lunch, the burger was really good! Everything else is not included. Lol. But fries was nice too.

Walked around the area, take photo outside the Westminster Abbey. The queue was super long, we didn't buy any pass, anyway we didn't really intend to enter so we just took photos outside. =x And walked along the streets to take more photos, saw some parade for USA stuff going on, which gave us a little shock. Walked across Trafalgar Square, where the parade party eventually made their way there. Proceeded to Piccadilly Circus to look at how the ticketing systems for theatres work there. So anyway, Lobster roll for dinner at Burger & Lobster! Omg I must say I really miss the lobster roll!!! And got ourselves some tickets for the following days as well. :D

Day 3 (11 June, Sun):
Old Spitalfields Market in the morning... we were not exactly early actually but it took us some time to get there as well. There were a lot of stalls, quite a huge area outside the actual market to explore. Donuts are irresistible so we each had 1 for breakfast (?) quite a late one haha. Actual target there was the Poppies Fish and Chips. Sister recommended because it's really nice, and yih was really determined to eat some fish and chips. Just that oh gawd the portion was super huge. We should have shared but we didn't. Lol! In the end none of us finished the chips, i think yih didn't even finished the fish. Lol! We had some other random things also lah.

Then back to regent street and oxford street for shopping. Yay! But all shops close at 6pm latest for Sundays. 😅 Bo bian... Chiong ah! Managed to go a few shops, Primark was amazing but it will flooded with people and clothes were really everywhere, so I grabbed just 2 or so, and went to pay while the other 2 waited outside -- it was chaotic. Shoes shopping for the new nmd designs. Apparently it was rather hard to find suitable ones -- either no size or no nice colour. HAHA Managed 1 for friend and the other 2 also bought a pair each.

Day 4 (12 June, Mon):
Harry Potter Studios Day! Dropped at the wrong stop (oops), but managed to still get there in time. Haha! Seeing details in books and movie images in real live is definitely amazing. Houses, creatures, all the items, and scenes like the grand hall, the rooms just makes you want to re-watch the entire series again. Like seriously. And I must say the butter beer is delicious. But everything else was sold at a price on the high side so I think we all didn't buy anything. Actually, it was funny how we scrimped and saved at the start of the trip (i.e. didn't really enter any payable premises and buy a lot of fanciful things), and later just spend without even thinking in the later part. And I also had so much pounds and euros left after the trip. HAHA

After spending half a day there (which is enough to cover everything if you not so hardcore into seeing every detail like a inspector), we went to Wembley Stadium which was along to way back to London city. It wasn't opened and well, the outer rim is so big we didn't bother going around to look for entrance or whatsoever, so we went to shop at the outlet stores beside. Bought a pair of superstar in my shade of blue, an adidas t-shirt, and some superdry t-shirt. Went back to the city by late evening for a show at the Savoy Theatre -- Dreamgirls! First show of the trip. It's one of my favourite musical movie, and this musical haven't toured before, so I wanted to go. My friends were nice to go along with whatever I wanted to watch, and were also ok to be squeezed dry of their time. HAHA. (Because most of the time in London, we had takeaways or cafe or sandwiches to keep the wallet fat and to keep meal time short).

Oh ya, Happy Birthday to myself, but pretty much nothing for this trip due to all the complicated matters. Oh wells... at that moment I really thought to myself that I'm better on my own, or back at home. Like what's the point honestly.

Day 5 (13 June, Tue):
Day-trip with the English Bus Company to Stonehenge and Bath (topped with a secret place). Totally loved it. Impressed with the weather, the sky, the structure and the stones. HAHA! No, we didn't go for any roman bath, but it was fun walking around, the guide was really good. Had some good bread and scones at Bath for lunch too!! We got to Bath first, (after the secret place, but secret, so you have got to find out yourself, I heard there are a few different ones depending on any specific wishes from the group).

And then we got to Stonehenge around 4pm or so, sun was omg strong. HAHA! Took slow walk around the place while trying to listen to the audioguide. And the formation just looked so nice from every single angle. Really love the place. And the sky helped to make the photos look super nice too. Lucky! :)

And back to the city... and it was still bright even though it was late already. lol! Fish and Chips (from a random shop?) or maybe I searched for one around the area on the spot I can't remember already. It was nice!! It was a brilliant to share 1 portion from that previous experience and we all ready wondered how the table nearby is going to finish their food -- each of them ordered a main and they had something to share.

Day 6 (14 June, Wed):
It was going to be a day we will watch 2 shows because they have matinee shows on this day. So we stayed in the city area and did some other tourist thing. hahaha. But first, we had to visit Borough Market. Excited to know that it reopened after the recent attack. We were not even sure if we would be able to visit it before we leave. Not all stalls were opened but good enough, we had some good food, Yay!

Also went to St. Paul's Cathedral, probably one of the only places we paid to enter in London (lol), because it was highly recommended and we had time. It was really beautiful and big, but no photos inside. Now, the audioguide was really useful, there's virtual tour, and explanations equipped with some graphics also. Helped us to understand the structure and all. Eventually we went up to the whispering gallery through the narrow and spiral stairs, it was quite a tough climb actually (many many steps) and we decided to stop there. To go up to the next level is another 300+ steps. And the whispering gallery was already amazing enough. They were so strict they had staff at each of the half around the circle to catch people taking photo. All right.... And whispering really works, staff spoke to kid who was standing on the bench and repeatedly ask his mother if she could hear, but actually it will only be possible if the person is further away so apparently the mum didn't hear it. And staff don't even need to walk around to tell people no climbing and no photos allowed, they just had to speak into the wall. Great design, for great purposes.

After the Borough Market, got ourselves to London Bridge (just to see it), there were still a lot of notes and flowers for the attack previously. But of course, London Bridge was nothing much so we went along to Tower Bridge. Haha! It was lunch hour and it really puzzles me how could I ever eat my lunch in the sun. Walked through the Tower Bridge (without going up because need to pay) and passed by Tower of London as well. HAHA!

And then we were back to the Leicester Square for our show - The Book of Mormon at 2.30pm. Coincidentally, yuhui's brother and friend turned up and sat beside us. Haha! It's quite a good show and it was quite funny, putting some humanity and humour to faith.

We then finally had the time to go to the Theatre Cafe to utilise the voucher they gave us for each of the ticket we bought. So we could each get a drink and a piece of food. (all names are related to musicals of the time)

And then Mamma Mia at night, okay, this show wasn't requested by me so I'm not dominating the entire trip, just in case you think so. It was good! I love the set, the music and everything! :) We were sitting so high up that we could actually see some scene change preparation. Haha extra views for lower price, not too bad actually!

Day 7 (15 June, Thu):
Went to Tate Modern after a good breakfast around the vicinity.

Tate Modern is really big! We didn't expect to spend so much time there. But was happy to see really nice exhibits. And able to recognise some works I've learnt in my studies. HAHA! And we were really tired from walking through the entire place.

Then went to the British Library to take a look too. It was so nice, though no very big and it looks more modern then classic Victorian style shelves. And i guess people were really staring at us somehow I do not know why.

We finally decided that we will have time for some high tea on that day before we catch our show in the evening. So after much choosing, we settled with Bea's of Bloomsbury. The scones were nice! some of the other bakes were a little dry. Overall, still a chillax afternoon after many days of going here and there (but the worse is yet to come hahaha)

And so it was Les Miserables at night! It was soooo good! And interestingly they have standing tickets (limited to 10 people, and of course it was super cheap), so you got to stand for like 3 hours or so, at the highest point of the theatre!

Day 8 (16 June, Fri):
Our last day in London!!! :( Anyhows, we decided to go back to Buckingham for the change of guards but turns out it's really not fantastic because you can hardly see a thing from outside the gates. HAHA! But we went to the St. James Park right beside and was surprised to see quite a crowd and pretty nice sights of ducks, swans and pretty flowers.

And then we left for outlet shopping at the Bicester Village. Please note that train tickets have to be bought separately for this trip. We sort of didn't know and had to pay when the trainmaster came by. But kindly helped us to issue the tickets. Bought a few stuff there! :D Hightea cum Dinner at the farmshop there and it's actually quite nice! By saying this, we really ordered a set of hightea. haha!

And that's all for the London part. We had to drop Oxford because we had no more time already. But the fact is we should have dropped Buckingham on the last day and went to Oxford instead. And probably we could have gone into a few other buildings/museums/palace, looking at the amount of pounds we had left we do have some time to spare. HAHA! Oh wells... regrets bring reasons for subsequent trips. HAHA!

All in all for the London part, good time spent I feel. Not too busy most of the time (we only returned late because of the shows and right, we didn't leave too early everyday if I didn't remember wrongly) But we did for a few days, lah. Haha. Moreover, because we had the entire apartment, we could do some cooking some days, be it breakfast, dinner or supper. The tiring part of the trip was mostly in Europe. Lol!

About the accommodation:
But at the end we were still faced with some problem with the airbnb. To save that kind of money, we had to travel quite far to the city (though the journey is not too long, it's extra spending also and we got to learn about their train system a little through this place haha). And after we left, the owner accused us of leaving uncleared stuff in the fridge and made us pay for her cleaner's extra hours. It was totally weird because we had to pay for 2 hours of extra work which I really thought was unreasonable. And we also encounter lock out for one of the days as the owner set the lock to the wrong date and it took us some calls (international) and time to get the owner's friend to help us solve this. And we thought we were nice to not make her refund us for the mistake. In the end we were backfired. We didn't even make a huge mess and we washed every single thing we used in the house. The only thing we did wrongly was to not note the initial stage and to throw our shopping bags away. I thought of many ways to steer ourselves out, however, friend was also not willing to continue arguing. Oh wells, and btw this airbnb thing I was a little displeased about it as well because it was just suddenly booked by travel mate without further discussion and it was paid immediately. After that travel mate was also not willing to ask for any cancellation when we realised that it is actually quite far away from the city. I booked the rest of the accommodation and I'm sure I made better and safer choices. But to respect the decision, we went ahead with it of course. Only to let the aftermath happen, so if I had made the booking, I wouldn't have let this pass. The listing is not even available on airbnb anymore. So anyway, if you come across a host called Amarlie and the apartment is at Peckham Rye area Bellenden Road, better be careful!

I'll come back with the Brussels and Paris part. (Hopefully) LOL

35歲的目标

好... 之前說過的，要回顧一下我那個三十岁的目标 2013年改版

1. 存錢，也許在眼前想買的是車子，但最終要買的是房子。如果沒結婚，35歲時可以存夠錢買房子搬出去。
2. 希望可以找到心仪的对象, 不想一个人过一辈子. 看到太多的例子, 不想和他们一样. 我希望有自己的家庭, 也可以让父母不必为我担心. 毕竟他们也不年轻了. 而且, 我也不年轻了. 「這個就不改了，我對這個的心還沒變。不排斥任何人介紹朋友給我認識喔！哈哈！」
3. 去一些我一直很想去的地方. 像前面說的，美國，英國和歐洲，也不是說其他的國家不能去，但以這三個地方為目標吧。要在30歲前達到的目標 － 至少一個。
4.  希望我可以一直坚持梦想, 做我喜欢做的事.
5. 不玩音樂後可以完成更多想做的事：學跳舞、重新參加運動（的俱樂部）
6. 多點時間給家人，也希望在乎的人能多點時間給我。一年至少請家人吃一次大餐！

三十歲過了😭😭😭 所以已經不能是三十歲的目標了。:( 所以只可以換成35歲的目標了。很多沒有做到，但至少做到了一點點，還算不錯 哈哈。

回顧一下：算是做到30歲生日的時候遊了英國倫敦(London)、比利時布魯塞爾(Brussels)和法國巴黎(Paris)。然後也做到了我一直一直很想做的一件事 -- 獨自一個人去一趟旅行，而且去了我最喜歡的地方 -- 台灣 😁 不知道會不會有下一次。今年想和家人去一趟。

開始回去運動，是喜歡的bodycombat (而且是以前在cali最喜歡的教練 hehe)，最近也做piloxing. 其實真的很累，不太想做，但還是拼一下吧。哈哈

1. 還是存錢，雖然還是沒存到很多。哈哈還是買房子吧。一定要有自己住的地方。
2. 想要真的談戀愛...
3. 還要做喜歡的事情--現在的工作。
4. 一年至少表演一场。不然全部都会忘掉的，而且真的会懒惰。
5. 去一次美国、意大利、日本、韩国
6. 学一学钢琴／吉他

繼續加油吧。覺得今年時間過得有些快... 做事情沒那麼快... 需要更多的動力。

中了（某韩剧的）毒

也许我就是一个容易人来疯、很三分钟热度的人。爱看书就突然间一连读完几本，然后久久都没再碰任何一本；爱写字就一连一直写，一直写；突发奇想学新的歌曲就会一直练琴、不然就几个月都不碰一次；心血来潮就每天弄一弄Ukulele几下，然后又好几天，几个星期没碰了。所以搁置已久的连续剧突然间想看就一直看。《灰姑娘和四骑士》(Cinderella and Four Knights) 的前五集我大概已经下载了几个月了，只看了第一、二集，而且是花了很久看的。但星期四晚上突然很有feel就开始接下去看了。然后就一发不可收拾。哈哈！就星期五还得做工，所以没有太夸张，就凌晨1点吧差不多。星期五晚上连我自己都觉得夸张了：回到家已经凌晨1点多，竟然看到快5点钟。其实很累了，但就是想看。:x 然后星期六10点多起床了继续看，就这样，早看，午看，晚看的看完了。也不知道为什么会对这部戏这么恋恋不忘。尤其对丁一宇演的姜志云，完全放不下。结果星期天晚上又重看了第一、二集。超疯狂的。

可能因为他前面的行为有一点像我的理想型 - 江直树。哈哈！就是常常露出不屑的表情，用很不屑的口气，但会慢慢靠近你，还是会放不下你。这样的男人去哪里找呢？而且他笑起来好好看、好迷人哦！真的有爱上了的感觉。有一点幼稚却又还是让人爱。

哎呀！怎么办呢？我觉得如果真的见到他本人我会非常非常地紧张。哈哈哈
（仿佛找回心跳的感觉了呢.... 有多久没有这样的感觉了呢？）Hai...

Cebu*Bohol 2016

Not to make up numbers... but this has to be one of my most memorable trip till date. To be honest, I was quite skeptical and nervous about the trip because I really do not know what to expect from the trip. And indeed, there were too many surprises to me.

Flight and accommodation booked and I still don't believe that I'm going. Haha. But of course we did.
Took us almost the whole day to get to our first night stay and also the place for the next 4 nights.

Flight to Cebu -> Taxi to Cebu Port (Take the white taxi only - by meter) -> Fast ferry to Tagbilaran Port (about 2h30min) -> Taxi/Tricycle to resort (depends on how people, we had 6 and were offered 600P to get us to the resort in one 9-seater. Somehow we managed to get another cheaper one at 500P).

The owner/staff of the resort was waiting at the door for us, and once I showed him the email, no other questions asked and we were brought to our rooms. Not the most fantastic place but it was cheap and acceptable. Thinking that we spent about 60+ per pax for the 5 nights there, I guess we can't complain too much. Moreover, they were friendly and helped us in our requests in many ways.

Because we were rushing for the ferry, didn't really have a good lunch, all we had were biscuits, water and my brilliant idea to bring a packet of honey butter cashew nuts. haha. Even though we were already super hungry, we walked all the way to have a atas dinner at another resort about 15min away. Saffron Restaurant at Amorita Resort - yup, as the name suggests, the most expensive. HAHA. And that's it for the first day after eating honey ice-cream that tastes a little salty but the koropok-liked cone is really nice!

The trip to Ipoh...

My second and rather impromptu trip of the year. But also an unforgettable one in terms of a series of events that lead to this already short getaway. My first ever time I double booked myself, to a trip and to a performance. -_-''' I really facepalmed myself. And... it was shocking because I found out when I was on my way to the rehearsal. And I suddenly remembered why I was more insistent on the other date at the start of the planning. The booking of air ticket was too sudden and rush that I didn't give the date another 2nd thought. And it was too late.

Then came the part on the decision. If I really had to choose 1 only, I had to give up the trip, it's sad but that's what I thought at that moment. But anyway I didn't tell anyone at that point, not laoshi, not any other performers, only the travel buddies, because they should know anyway. Of course, some told me to just say no to the performance, but if I had really done that then I'm no different from other people who just find many excuses to not be involved. But to me, I still love playing, still love music, and there aren't a lot of chances to perform anymore. So I really wanted to perform. I won't blame her for saying that so quickly, and thankful for others who understood. Afterall, I found my own solution and all, I don't really have to answer to anyone right? 

Just that it wasn't so easy. The only other flight in to Ipoh goes off before the performance ends, so no hope. No flights early next day as well, not even the same timing they took. Didn't know frequency was that low. So alternatively, I had to take a bus lor, night bus to be specific. Luckily it isn't too much top-up to begin with. And with the car we rented in Ipoh and their willingness to pick me up early in the morning, we are more or less settled, only I had to miss the first day with them. So my getaway was shorten to 2D1N, with the traveling time increasing from 3h (incl. check in all that) to at least 7h. 

And then, I don't know what I was expecting, but maybe if I haven't said it then I won't feel the way I felt after that. And so at this point of time, I still didn't tell anyone, until much later, I only told Hongqing I think. Anyway I didn't have the courage to tell laoshi lah all along.

But at the end of the performance, while wanting to let him know that I will come home on my own, I suddenly blurted out that I had to rush for a night bus that day. But, dang!, he said nothing, other than a short laugh. No words of appreciation. I thought about this whole saga about people not coming, that the orchestra is just difficult to sustain and that people are not appreciative of what he has done all these years. Rather than seeing it as a whole group effort, he chose to think that he put in the most. Yes, it could be true and none of us could exactly say that we put in our live to do it, but well, he got paid. right? And if he expects the appreciation to be only one-sided: he expects to be appreciated but doesn't expect himself to be appreciative of others, then this will not work as well, which is exactly what is happening to this orchestra. Praises should come from others, not always from yourself. 你伟大, 也没有那么伟大. 有一点小失望.... If you think that you have done the most and others haven't put in as much as you did, as time goes by, no one will want to work for you. 

Yes, it was my own fault, but you could have better handled it, or at least allow me to feel more appreciated. So after all, I have no more guilt towards this thing anymore because there is only so much he care about.

So it's my first time going out on my own, I was a little nervous actually. But things like that only makes people stronger, isn't it? But I really did something stupid, at the sg custom, even I don't believe it. HAHAHA! I alighted the bus with all the others and went into the hall and just followed blindly behind the crowd past the automated machines and joined one of the lines to the counted. For the longest time ever, I was thinking how come the queue is so slow, after like 10min, I saw another group of people coming into the hall and most of them went to the machines, that was when I really took a good look and thought the logo really looks familiar. 😅😅😅 That was when I realised that people around me are all holding msia passport and I should have gone to the automated machines. But it was too late, the queue was too narrow for me to head out again and I'm one person away from the counter. But I felt slightly embarrassed at that moment. LOL! I went to the counter and immediately I apologised, and at the same time he looked at my passport and laughed at me, asking if I knew I could have use the automated machines instead of waiting so long for the queue. (the waiting time was really long) I must have looked really sheepish at the counter, both of us laughing at myself. :x He is quite good looking I must say. 

Then I nearly went to the counter that says 'malaysia passport' at the msia custom afterwards, because all the other passengers on my bus were malaysians and I really followed blindly. :x

And so... now to the trip.

A relaxing trip, I want it to be. Thankful for friend who can drive. :) For food, scenery, fun and laughter. Went to the railway station, had to find out how does the parking system works. Did a few very expensive parkings at other places as well. HAHA! Went to 2 intended caves but only really managed one because we also don't know what exactly happened to the other one. And just eat a lot. Lol! Chicken rice, gui lin gao, hor fan, desserts, cafes and all.

I just feel that I didn't do much lor. And dang! we were back. Hahaha.

The only consolation is that I still manage to not waste the return air ticket. HAHA! :)