That day i was talking to this friend... we were talking something about him... and when he asked me how i know.. i replied becos i was observant... and i collect evidence... Then i thought... if that's the kind of person i am.. i.e. observant... Why didn't i observe it when it happened on me? It's kind of weird right... For one thing i know abt myself... i'm a person who most of the time sees a person in terms of their personality correctly... and i know if he/she dislike another person... from the little little actions or words they say... But... if u ask me if anyone has anything towards or against me... frankly speaking.. i can't tell... maybe some in terms of friendship.. But... in terms of relationship... spare me... i've been wrong so many times... and i still didn't know until much later! If i can read btwn the lines when ppl say something... why didn't i sense it last time and let it go on for so long? Am i so blinded that time??
Then i thought... why is it so? Is it what they called... '旁观者清'?? And then i thought... why could i only have guy friends... but no further relationships with any of them.. Haha... Perhaps it's becos of my character ba... I might always appear to be strong, independent, confident, capable (maybe), and dun need any help from them... this occurs to me when someone offered to help me carry things today and i rejected it immediately... Maybe that's why... But... actually i'm not really like that... Haiya... dunno how to explain... who doesn't hope to have something to take care of u... and always be there... lending the shoulder whenever it is need... and blah blah blah... But... it just didn't happen at the correct time or with the correct person for me... so i kept on banging onto the wall... how could i even start liking someone now after all these?
Hmm... haiya... whatever should come will come....
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