Music being the Center of my Life.

If anything is blog-worthy in my life, it must be the concerts: either those I performed in, or those I went to watch. And just so happened that they happen to me quite often to me. HAHA!

Ever since I don't remember when, there are times I just won't be able to meet anyone on saturdays because I have a concert to attend. LOL! But it's not really my fault, is it? :)

A few to name these few months. (Actually I might just list all)

1. Our People, Our Music 2014 (OPOM)

I don't know why I signed up for it, but well, it has to be memorable somehow even though I'm not part of SYCO anymore. It made me seems like I'm still part of sy, at least for a while. Haha!

It was a lot of waiting and waiting, standing and sitting around, oh wells, I asked for it right? Haha! nonetheless, we are already the lucky lot. So I shan't complain. And aren't all of us proud of breaking the 2 Guinness Records? I guess that's worth it then. :)

2. "孫天后" 孫燕姿的《克卜勒》
全民共樂過後的一個禮拜, 又回到了國家體育場, 參加第一個在那個場地舉行的流行音樂演唱會. 因為前一個禮拜才去過, 所以知道裡面的空氣不流通, 也許會很熱. 只是沒想到, 隔一排的差距就是前一排較高價位的位子有手扇, 從我們這一排就沒有了. -.- 而且早就知道那個場地的音效是沒辦法做到很好的. 況且沒想到, 舞台搭建在很遠的地方, 所以我們離地上的座位和舞台都非常的遠, 少了的是親近感. 就少了一些'身在其中'的感覺. 但是, 感覺天后的表演又比上次好了許多. 不知道是不是因為當了媽媽, 幽默感多了一些, 膽識和信心也多了, 所有的演唱都平穩. 況且, 那天她是帶病上陣的. 真的辛苦了! :) 幸好沒有因為上次的小失望而這次沒去! 還有, 真的喜歡新專輯裡的《克卜勒》，《天使的指紋》，還有《尚好的青春》! 太好聽了!

3. MCO Beautiful Sunday 美麗的星期天
隔天就是自己的演出了. Haha! 很久沒有這麼緊張的上一場表演. 說實在, 我要是真那麼棒, 早就去讀音樂了. 我就是知道我沒有那個料, 所以只可以玩玩. 在樂團這麼多年, 我沒有一次逃不過拉板胡的, 除了這一次. =.= 而且我有的時間是如此的短啊! 還有一段高胡solo, 差一點沒死掉. Haha! 我得承認, 板胡是我比較緊張的部分. 還好, 最後的表現還是可以的. 沒有我以前需要獨奏的時候那麼緊張. 不知道是不是上了年紀, 心情比較平穩, 呼吸不會那麼急促? 或者現在慢的東西我還是應付得來的. 哈哈! 最近聽到錄音才第一次聽到那天的表現. 不能說非常好, 但至少, 我在錄音中聽到了讚嘆聲. 哈哈! 而且, 香港的朋友還私訊說我拉得好! 真的非常高興. Hehe! :D 結果那一段我自己聽了好幾遍. (自我小陶醉一下沒關係吧) 其他的就別說了. Haha! 心知肚明就好. 第一次感觉自己赞自己到这样不要脸. (说真的，现在脸皮好像真的厚了很多). 还有开心的是，和那边的朋友聚一聚. :)

4. SSO @ Re-Opening of VCH
Very exciting event as we all re-visited the site, with everything refurbished so nicely, to give us a modern yet classic feeling of the place. Some of the things may have changed, but it feels really good to be back to place where many concerts were held at. A pity that I have never performed there before, and I don't know if I ever will have the chance to, but I was definitely privileged to be there on this occasion. But I have to sit, sitting under the covered area on the stall seats is still not satisfactory and doesn't justify the sound from the stage properly. A pity. I still remember the days it was the performing venue for SCO, East zone camps, and other schools/community centres concert. We spent so many weekends there. Even though toilet queue has always been a problem and there's absolutely no food around as well, and that the seats were in bad condition nearing the end before the renovation, it was the memories. I still remember the concert I watched someone I liked perform on stage. I still remember the watching some talented people I admired at some concert. The memories of secondary school life. And you haven't realised, but I haven't said a thing about the concert. Other than Ng Pei-Sian, I don't really know what else to say about the concert. HAHA! :x Oh ya, I already talked about the sound. Hopefully I will get to perform there one day.

5. The Sound of Music Musical @ MBS Theatres
One of my favourite films since young. Probably because my sister always watch it, all the lovely songs, and me listening to the soundtrack countless times. I was a little confused with the plot and songs selection/sequence, only to find out that was closer to the original broadway than the film. Oops. Looks like we were all brainwashed by the film. Nevertheless, most of the songs remained the same and it was a joy to be there.

6. 苏打绿's 十周年演唱会 AIR Singapore
名字非常長, 就這樣吧. 可以說這場演唱會絕對是這年最最最迫不及待想看的演唱會. 自己一個人很早就到了會場, 可惜這裡的氣氛果然不比台北的, 沒有人這麼早就去排隊買周邊商品啦. 所以很快就買到了. 值得高興的是演唱會並沒有延遲很久才開始. 沒有AIR watch 兼螢光棒的手環,  但有贊助商的熒光棒和一些贈品, 也算不錯. 他們場的每一首歌都好喜歡喔, 對我來說, 最興奮的莫過於那個360度旋轉舞台. 之前看到台北場視頻的時候, 他們唱著《相信》, 旋轉舞台突然升起的那一刻, 我眼淚直接流了出來. 沒想到可以在新加坡場看到它. 真的非常棒! 好像那也是暐哲最驕傲的事. Haha! 但新加坡這場, 不管什麼時候,'高興'的感覺都勝過了一切. 我好像只有一直大聲的笑, 還有對自己傻笑. 哈哈! 尤其是小威bai kah 的事, 就一直拿出來講. 太好笑了! 當然, 還有演唱的部份啦! 大概喜歡的歌都唱了吧. 或者說, 反正我沒有什麼不喜歡的歌, 他們唱什麼歌我都很開心! 雖然主唱大人真的不喜歡大家說他們很好笑, 比較想聽到他們唱的好好. 可他骨子裡就喜歡有點搞笑. 明明自己總是忍不住要搞笑, 然後又說我們不要什麼都笑, 會不會太過份了一點? 哈哈! 尤其拜託我們說因為演唱會結束硬逼我們說'YAY'的那段, 任性極了! 但, 是我不會忘記的一場演唱會.

7. 香港中樂團 @ Esplanade
期待已久的音樂會, (是不是很跳tone? Haha) 反正因為去年十二月到香港去的時候朋友就說了, 所以真的等很久. 演出, 就只能說, 很喜歡閻惠昌! HAHA! 還有演出的曲目. 可惜我們的位子也許比較不好, 在3樓, 音樂廳的音響沒有調好, 所以弦樂的聲音無法完整的傳達上來, 管樂就略為大聲. 不過後來聽坐在一樓的朋友說, 他們聽到比較大聲的是弦樂, 管樂則比較小聲. 看來管樂的聲音都被打上來了. 確實有點浪費了這樂團的實力.

除了看演出, 還有當導遊帶朋友到處走. 在香港的時候就答應了. 而且不管我們誰去, 他們都熱情招待的. 結果我們安排了三天的環島吃喝玩行程. 說真的, 有些地方我們自己都沒去過. 哈~ 而且吃了大概一整年才會吃到的量的本地食物. 結果, 朋友回國後, 我完全沒有想吃任何東西的慾望.

8. Ruan Chamber Concert @ Esplanade Recital Studio (by SCO)
Only went to watch because of Minhui. Seems like many things have changed in our lives, but not the music. It's always been a pleasure to hear some of the musicians play: Minhui is one of them :) The music, though simple, is very captivating. Just like how she played Yu Hou Ting Yuan. Could only say, I went there just to watch her. <3

9. Kalakan @ The Voices by Esplanade
Not really knowing what we were in for, I went because Ekjun and Yvonne recommended them. Saw a short clip of theirs when dymc went to Sarawak for Rainforest Music Festival. It turned out that they were really good. Even though they are from this small country called Basque, I have no idea where that is (somewhere in or near Spain), and can't understand their language. But, music really doesn't depend on language. With some simple explanation on the numbers, and the power of their vocals, it's not difficult to feel the music. Couldn't resist but to stand up, clap along and sing along. It was not a long concert, but definitely an enjoyable one. :)

10. MCO 10th Anni Concert @ Esplanade
My last performance for the year. Never felt I put in so much effort into a concert before, I wanted to make it the best one, but then again, it's always about everyone, and not just 1 person in the orchestra. Or even, majority. You just need 1 person to ruin it. (just a saying, not pointing at anyone). No matter how many practices I went to, (actually all the practices since Oct) and a number of extra practices on weekday night, it doesn't make a difference if the section hasn't even come together once until the rehearsal. Yup, I understand that everyone may have their own commitments in life, I used to have mine as well. And I burnt all my Saturdays to go to practice at somewhere so far even though it's my only free day all week. What I'm saying is, well if you have so many commitments, you ought to choose the priority, and give up some of them some times. It doesn't hurt, really. More so if in the end you tired yourself out and also drag the others with you. There's a possibility of finding more players at an earlier stage rather than every week having hopes that this person will come, and the person just doesn't turn up at all. It's an issue of responsibility. An orchestra isn't an orchestra if the players don't play together most of the time. And that's probably why we need to add practices and tired everyone out and had so many 'surprises' at the end of the day.

有時我覺得是老師太縱容大家了. 如果是我, 至少最後一個月的練習大家都應該來, 不然就別上了. 這是以大局為重, 而不是因為個人欲望的事.

And kids nowadays, have to be spoon-fed with answers. They are supposed to be smart, so it's not that they don't know, more or they don't want to try. We the seniors were practicing hard even though we already know our stuff and trying to perfect it, but they just sat there and did nothing. They didn't even attempt to try on their own when the scores were given months ago. Don't understand why we are still teaching them at the last week before the concert. I was practicing right beside the girl just to motivate her to practice also, but she just sat there and did nothing. Hello! I don't even need to practice anymore. -.-

In the end, can't say I didn't make any mistakes, in fact, I made quite a few, though not major, but I feel bad enough. I would have played much better if it wasn't for my sore back. :/ Need to remind myself to get muscle patch the next time I perform because sitting straight-backed for a whole day is a no-joke.

But this concert has made us bond better, think of solutions to savage and not immerse in the so-called good image from people who doesn't play the music at all. Happy that at least we get to play some traditional music, although a mix will bring more audience. Well, I've done my job. I used to be quite hack care about such things because I'm just someone who plays occasionally in the orchestra, I don't know where the sense of responsibility suddenly come from. Perhaps I just wanted them to be more efficient. Super waste time some of the time. Glad that it's over, but then again, kinda miss the music playing time. Till the next time! Hope it's not too soon, so that I have more free saturdays.

With the year coming to an end, just 1 more concert to go! i.e. Jay Chou's Opus II, which was supposed to be on 8 Nov, but it's going to be tomorrow! :D Excited! But not crazy over it. Well, first time, just to experience it. :)

Ok, maybe that's not the last. The last will be on 31st Dec in Taipei! ;)

And due to budget constraints to save up for the much awaited trip, I resisted and had to give up a few other interesting stuff this year, like Mamma Mia musical. Oh well, I'm sure I will get to catch it in future, maybe in London? Who knows.

Till then! Good bye for the year! :D

Just when nothing went right. Nothing.

最近發生了很多快樂和不快樂的事。但人的腦袋很奇怪，總是讓我們只記得不快樂的事。其實現在大概沒有人到這裡讀我寫的東西了吧？所以我是寫給自己看的。

這兩個禮拜我也許想事情真的是有點鑽牛角尖，但我也不是無憑無據地這麼想。突然想起小學的時候，也有一次是這樣。但那時多的是一份背叛感。當然，有些事可能就是我自己幻想出來的。但想一想，那段時間對現在的我來說就好像一場夢一樣。以前也何嘗不是三個人好朋友的關係，被我自己的‘佔有慾’和‘妒忌心’毀了嗎？也不知道以前哪來的勇氣！也許每一組朋友裡，不管幾個人，你都一定會有跟你比較要好的一位，多人的話也不會覺得怎麼樣，但三個人的時候，那個‘一個人’就...... 所以，我應該就是那位咯。結果沒想到，現在重現了？

其實想一想，很多事有這樣的結局很合理啊？因為問題就出在我自己身上。其實這幾天我也反思了很多，一直很想知道，為什麼我的人生就要這樣？然後又確定的接受我先天的個性和缺點，注定我在大多數的事情上，是個失敗者。

1. 我其實很沒有膽量，我從小什麼都怕，姐姐說我黏我媽黏到不行。她不在，我連我外婆要帶我去買好吃的我都不敢跟，好像怕她會把我賣掉一樣。所以我不喜歡獨奏，也沒有那個能力獨奏；只要是獨奏，我一定做不好。不然我也不會學了這麼久，又很喜歡的東西，卻又做不好。所以，小時候媽媽每次哄我上台唱歌我都抗拒。所以，我從小到現在都沒有變，還是這麼地畏懼所有這些事。所以，我現在還是一樣什麼都怕，有時候卻故作堅強。

2. 我本來就不合群，或者說我獨立於自己的生活。我不輕易對任何說出我心裡的話。開心或不開心，都是自己的事。就算是家人也一樣。也許姐姐們都大我太多了。以前我最能哭訴的人就是我同歲的表妹，但當然長大以後也很少了。我從什麼時候開始，只要是不開心的，就只會自己躲起來哭，不可能會讓別人知道我發生了什麼事。（啊，以前的確有那麼一個人是我會主動跟他講的，現在沒有了）其實這是一個很矛盾的心理。就是我並不想直接地跟任何人說，卻希望有人會看得出來／發現。我以前在學校就是不需要和朋友一起上廁所的人，所以我應該沒有什麼朋友，因為朋友都是在這些時候交心的。然後又很geng的假裝不在意。才怪啦！

3. 其實說起來我這人就是一個很矛盾的人。就是一個人又不行，又怕跟別人一起的人。哈哈！我也很怕尷尬，所以對不熟的人我肯定不能一對一，而且我會盡量躲避。其實我很怕別人來安慰我，因為我不知道該說什麼。不習慣把內心的話說出來。可是我卻想要有人知道，希望有人會心疼我，有人會拉著我的手，抱著我，告訴我，我不是我想像的那樣，告訴我一切都會過去的。可是也沒有人這麼做過。也許我在人們面前都掩飾得很好。應該就是人們說的‘表裡不一’吧。-.-'''

4. 我覺得我真的是一個運氣很差的人。至少我覺得我從中學畢業的那刻起，‘好運’就沒有再在我的人生出現過。例子就不需要給了。大概每一個對我很重要的人事物都沒有一個是好的。有很多錯綜複雜的事件發生，有時我也無法理解。今年大家都說兔子今年的運氣很好。對，也許那些‘好運’不夠填補我的‘歹運’，然後我又把他們花在比較無關緊要的東西。可是我的人生竟然可以不順遂到這個地步？學業不怎麼樣，事業很不怎麼樣，友情一點點，有時也不怎麼樣，愛情一點都沒有，運氣沒有，家人... 家家有本難念的經。我到底有什麼？

5. 不知道是不是雙子的人都是這樣？常常就看到很多雙子的人都跟我一樣。可是我現在是一個連自己都顧不了的人，又怎麼有資格去顧別人呢？雙子還是不找雙子談心或幫忙解決問題的好，找別星座的吧。


星期五通常是朋友常會約的時候。昨天晚上放工後，我一個人過著孤獨的晚上。自己放工，自己吃晚餐，自己做所有的事。最後，自己走回家。其一是我不想這麼快回家，其二是我需要更多安靜的時刻 (as if I haven't had enough of the silence in my life), 再者是這安靜的時刻讓我可以想一想一直掛在心上的事。走了大約一小時四十分鐘才回到家。也經過那時間的思考，才有這篇。

說吧，這五六個月以來，我遇到的波折甚至比以前的嚴重得多。畢竟我已經工作了這麼多年，但在別人眼中卻一點價值都沒有的話，不就說明了什麼嗎？甚至我能說是個窘境，到了我有時候會覺得我已經不能活下去了，時常讓我對自己非常非常的懷疑(雖然現在還是懷疑)，因為到現在我都還是個失敗者。當然我真的非常非常感謝在這段時間一直問候我，幫助我的人，要不是他們，我現在可能不知道會在做什麼。


最後，你現在問我，我連一件快樂的事情都想不起來。

June is meant for celebrations :D

Yay! Like the title suggested, June is for celebrations! haha! Probably started on 1st June. HAHA. Okay, have to admit that it didn't last for the whole month lah. I couldn't afford also. :/

First was from the best ex-colleague turn friends and vocal classmates I could ever get. Although it was super unfortunate that our vocal coach had to spill the beans the previous lesson. I just pretended I didn't hear anything. Lol! But the awkward silence moment and I guessed the girls really wanted to kill him already. HAHAHA! It's so super funny and yet I have to act blur and contain my laughter. And so it was teoheng session after the class with the 2 'drop-outs' joining us. And then tbh, I saw them choosing the birthday song. Like... I'm not blind lah. Maybe yx was blind cos I think he really didn't notice. Haha! But still, it was a sweet thought. :) Then was dinner with them. It may not be the best meal, but having mates like them was one of the most blessed thing that happened to me for the past year. :) And we had cakes! And cards! :) And I got a present as well! I think that's my only physical present this year. Not that I'm a fussy person about birthdays, but they really took note of what I like, because we were shopping for stuff one day and I merely mentioned I like that ear piece. They went back to buy it another day. So much love. <3

And then, I met up with one of the most important group of friends in my JC life. They made my JC life much happier and fun-filled. The CO peeps. Grateful to have met them. Though tbh, I already knew Jiewan, Jonathan and Deshun way before entering NY. haha! But well, CO would have been different without them around. And every single meet-up with them is always filled with laughter throughout. No other group of friends are like them. And tbh, other than myself, the other 2 pairs were friends on their own, so I'm really very glad that they have never left me behind, and Emily is always really sweet and made no one felt left out or absent from our meet ups. We don't meet a lot, and I do miss them a lot. :)

And then... although both these occasions weren't exactly meant as birthday celebrations, I have the right to put them under the same category. Right? And so, had lunch with the once ex-colleagues (haha, aiya long story) because Agnes wanted to treat us 3 girls (no, not jz and mw) for helping her with stuffs. Nice lunch, nice chatting with them after I left for 2 months. And then, because of free tickets (hahaha), I get to meet Liyana. Miss talking to this girl. Again, we don't meet up very often, but meeting her always made me happier, filled with more confidence, and regain memories when we were in school. I do miss some of my LASALLE classmates, don't I? :)

And there was Meiting's wedding. Really a very joyous occasion, and lotsa catching up with the friends from mco. How long haven't all of us performed together?! And that's probably why I decided to go on and perform for the 10th anni concert. HAHA! (Not really because I wanted to), and tbh, that's one of the only few avenues for me to play with orchestra now. (sad to say).

And then the luckiest thing that happened in months, (yup, other than that, everything was rather crap), I won tickets to Springwave Concert 春浪音樂節 in Singapore on 7 June. Sister was as happy as I was. So ya, we went together. So exciting as there were some Tainan food stalls as well! :D My 棺材板 & 滷肉飯 & 鹽酥雞!! *Drools* (Though we were supposed to be there for the music. haha) So anyways, we thought we were there mainly to watch Jam Hsiao and Amei lah. Hehe. When we got there, it was 郭書瑤 singing. So we were eating the yummy food and listening from far away, apparently, it wasn't as bad as we expected. haha! Could tell that she really put in a lot of effort to train and most of them are not her own songs. Then there was Bii 畢書盡, 丁當, 蕭敬騰 & 張惠妹. Have to say we enjoyed ourselves very much. Even though we are not at the best seats, it was very 'high'! So excited to see Jam and Amei again!!! <3 :D I hope next time will be JJ and Sodagreen though. HAHA!

Next was our 2nd breakthrough performance, and family gathering plus seeing the little nephew. Breakthrough was all right, a little better than I expected but I knew I could do better than that. Looking forward to the next one. Nephew was sleeping most of the time and not feeling well, but managed to catch up with the cuzzie a bit, before they left. And they cut the cake without waiting for me! (Even though it was also my birthday cake) LOL! Anyway I had to leave after that for HCCO concert, to support Bernard for his concerto. And partially because the conductor was Wei Yanming, so I didn't mind going. HAHA! =x

And then there was my birthday. Actually I never called for any celebrations on my birthday. If people wants to share the occasion with me, I'd be happy. But it's just my birthday, I wouldn't really want to trouble any one to give their time up for me, not even my family. And so, I had a solo-activity-afternoon, after having sumptuous lunch with daddy (which I just treat it as my birthday lunch even if it's not). I was contemplating between movie and cycling, no good movie timings, so I went cycling instead, which I was thankful that I did. Cycling alone wasn't boring anyway, I had plans. I brought with me my polaroid and a roll of films just for my own birthday project. Sighting scenes I would love to record down. And just to do one of my favourite activity - watching planes take off.  And thinking of how I could take pictures to depict 1206. I was trying to look for the numbers, later I decided that I should try to be creative. Thus I got something that says 'No. 1', 2 pieces of clothing for the birthday (Hehe, excuses I know), 0 from the top of my drink, and '6' from my block number 132, which represents very much on my life - 1 bro-in-law, 3 sisters and 2 parents, adding up to 6, making up what my family is, which is very important to my life. :)

Ok, and then it was really celebration. HAHA! I need to thank the 2 for taking leave from work to do this with me. Yay to fellow June babies. :D We went to Water Adventure Cove, spent some good time playing with water and waiting in the queues. haha! Had some good laughs. And to the korean bbq dinner with the Beloveds for both Qin and my birthday. The group of friends I will never abandon and I know will never abandon me :) <3 I don't have to say much, because hanging out together for 14 years with most of them is nothing fake. <3

And then, although it was really part of the #1206, but I do consider it as one. i.e. joining Yes933 for their night cycling event. Have to say the waiting was really longgggg, the route took us to some place I've never been before and to our surprise the sights were very beautiful; looking at Singapore from a different angle. :) It was then some supper, some activities before heading back to ecp to end the trip. Tiring but nice. :)

Of course, I needa thank all the friends whom managed to remember and made an effort to send me a msg. More than happy to have them than anything else. And so with this, I'm ending this super late post. HAHAHA!

And I'm lazy to look for the photos. So... if you want to see them, find them in my instagram or fb. :D

Breaks are meant for Enjoyment like Food and Concerts. Loads.

Finally felt guilty that I haven't been updating the blog even though I haven't been working. Not that anyone is still reading it, but penning down has always been the most reliable source of memory for me. And thus, it means that there are a lot of things I might have forgotten through these months. haha! (Ok, maybe I could refer to my instagram for some memories retrieval)

Life is still as happening as ever, before the funds run dry and the mother at home starts nagging. =x Sometimes I'm not at choice for this right? Oh wells, hopefully things will turn out to be better.

Anyhows, a few updates on the happening stuff in my life lately then.

三登《天冷就回来》

今年看了第三次的《天冷就回来》音乐剧，也就是说，他们上演了三次，我三次都看了。记得我看第一、第二次的时候都说‘不知道下一次我还会不会要看’。但是，票一出，就忍不住要买票了。哈哈！所以就去看了咯！

这次的演员又很不一样了。 但说真的，除了 George Chan 和 Joanna Dong 三次都演回一样的角色，其他的演员都换过了。尤其阿强和小静更是次次不同。喜欢或不喜欢就见仁见智了。本身当然是喜欢第一次演阿强的陈瑞彪。哈哈！至于小静：也许是石欣卉吧。

看到现版的成叔出场，突然想起上一次演成叔的林燮毅，更想起他的声音的确是无人能比。

故事没有变，也许编曲变了一点，也许加入了一些更流行的元素，但我始终没有买该音乐剧的原声带。可以说我有点老古板，我一向比较喜欢听原版的歌曲。除非重唱的人真的唱得很好。

看了三次，发现自己最喜欢的歌还是那几首。哈哈！无非就是《让夜轻轻落下》，《从你回眸那天起》。哈哈！Ok, 我又得承认我喜欢比较冷门的歌，其他的也都好听，都是我会听的，只是偏爱。

还没有看过此音乐剧的朋友，不要再拖了。快点买票去看啦！听说过了这次，也许不会再演了。而且周末的票好像都售完了，买不到票，以后又没得看，到时可不要后悔！还有，当然是要支持本地的音乐剧啦！

再遇见

当朋友提到你以前喜欢的人和他现任女友的时候，你的反应会是什么？

也不能说我超不想听，也不知道听到好的还是坏的比较开心，哈哈！

对这个人，我没有疑问的说我早就放下了。况且，我们不是完全没有联络的朋友。只是，只要有朋友提起，心还是会不经意抽动一下。也不知道我在担心什么。

现在每当听到这首歌，就会不禁想到那个人，只是，我觉得我是那个停留在原点的那个人。可是，我也会想说谢谢。


有一天我也希望我是那个继续往前走的人。

First farewell

Had a surprise farewell party by the colleagues. We thought it was going to be a small dinner with the boss at her place. It turned out that some other colleagues were already there waiting for us. Well I sort of suspected a few of them because of some illogical things they were saying. So anyway I forgot about it while on our way there and of course I don't want to spoil anything if it's real. Haha! 

But really touched to see them there! One intern couldn't join us though. Had fun talking, eating, singing and laughing. There's even a decor and cake and they made a video which I watched until I cried because it was just toooo funny. All the fun that we had, even though it was just a few months with some of them. 

Totally grateful for colleagues turn friends like them. Will never forget them for sure. And I hope my colleagues in future could be at least a bit fun-loving like them. As the little gifts from them. Totally awed by the effort that was put in. Love. 

Say Goodbye

After all, it's not so difficult. Because I'm not that important to them anyway. Received a few goodbye hugs from the students, good enough I thought. Haha!

So, the CO colleague received plenty of presents, long and lovely messages during and after the event. And I have to tell her, that CO students are the best. HAHA! And it was actually quite fun to manage her event this time round. Although I enjoyed my own too. :)

All in all, I'm thankful for all these times I'm able to go through. I was half-hearted to whether I should continue, but too many things happened that made me very clear that I don't want to continue anymore, and it' not because of the workload but the people who made the workload worst.

Made it clear and got the load off. Not that I really wished this to happen, it has to happen. Like I always say, everything that comes, I will take it with stride. Now I will take it as a choice and I hope I've made the right choice. :)

Coming to an end in 1 week.

Frankly speaking, it's been some good time with the kids.

And today was one of the best days with them. I think I really will be sad to see them graduate. Okay, I'd be happy to see them finish the whole programme, enjoy themselves and have a very good graduation concert. But well, it's sad that that's the end.

One student told me the time is too short, why couldn't it be longer and why can't they join again. Ya, true. But think about it, what if the 2nd time isn't as enjoyable as the first? What if the expectation was so high that in the end you felt that you didn't enjoy as much as the 1st? After that he agreed. Haha!

It's just like when I went to COcamp in sec school. Although I was disappointed that I didn't mange to join the 2nd year in the end (I was totally looking forward to it and was sad we are not allowed to go because it was SARS, O levels chinese got postponed and school doesn't allow us to join), I was glad that I was kept to the experience from the 1st time I went with all the close friends.

Today was kinda important, as it's the last proper rehearsal. And I helped them took a group photo. Very happy that all of them were enthusiastic the moment I asked them to. Very happy to be able to know a number of them and very happy to be able to see them through the whole programme.

Touched to hear them sweet talk me even though sometimes I trouble the students from the hosting school. And sometimes I'm really strict and show my black face to them. HAHA! At least that's what I think. But I really like it that there's really fun-loving students, and even though some of them really ALWAYS piss me off, they are all quite cute actually.

I've been feeling guilty about the ticket thing. But I'm glad most of them understands and unlike some of the students last year (sad to say) who kept on pestering me in a bad way. I mean, I'm already trying to do everything within my means to ensure everyone at least get something, I don't expect them to be grateful, but at least not resentful right. I know the last batch some of them had quite good relationship with the previous exec, but well, there are some students worth being there for.

And this year, I'm lucky to get these bunch of lovely kids. Both primary and secondary. The primary school kids are too cute already. Although they are also very very very mischievous and blur, they are still quite cute.

Bought things for them, hope it will come in time and they will like it. :)

All in all, I will miss them. HAHA!

And next month, will be facing yet another farewell, Awwww.

Thinking about my life

I think this year my biggest hope is to contribute more to my parents and bring them to more eating places that they might not be able to go on their own. Well, before I get dried not working (Hopefully not) :/

我有想過留在現在的工作，因為我真的在做我喜歡的事。但是我卻不應該留下來。今天在想，原來‘想’和‘應該’是這麼矛盾的。It's something I like, but because of the surrounding factors, there's no point in staying for long. And in fact, that's what everyone else thinks as well. And I really like the environment and the people here. I must say, the best colleagues I've met by far. I will really feel sad when I leave. And the rapport that I've built with the students in the past year is also something I felt wasted when I have to go. Well, the fact that we all know that we should go. It's a pity that what we are doing now is so trivial to them. (not to the office/group but to the whole system), and it's something they cannot control at the moment also.

If you ask me what's my next step, honestly, I see it as 'very blake' and I really wouldn't give you a definite answer. To be truthful, I've been so many downs in life (I wouldn't even say ups and downs), I'm kind of afraid that it will come to me again. But I'm kind of left with no choice. And I will have to step out again. Again, I wished to continue in the area that I'm most interested in and is capable of, however, reality tells me that I should go into something else that might help me better in my future. I totally have no idea what I should do.

Of course, more importantly I will have to complete my tasks on hand before I end my term with them. Will certainly miss everything here. And of course, I want to make these last 2 projects a success that I don't have to leave with regrets.

Lately there are too many happenings that alerted me that I really have to look around me more and care about the people around me more. It must have been really tough for them. Not knowing what happened to that friend's dad, I don't want to speculate about it, but I know that deep down he must be feeling awful and that the burden on him has become heavier. The other, brother of my friend, a husband and father of a young child, took his own life, not sure why, but made me think. There's a lot of reason to do so. And I've always thought, even if life is really tough on me, I wouldn't have had the courage to do anything similar. As much as I'm afraid of life, I'm afraid of death. For someone to take his own life away, it's not a easy thing to do. But as selfish as it may seem to leave the family in heartbroken state and in pain, the decease deserve the pity that something must have drove him to the wits end for him to make that decision. I'm not sure if that's the best way to solve anything, but I'm conscious of knowing that anyone having thoughts like that are at the border and really just need some help and encouragement from people around. And we just got to be more sensitive of our close ones. It cannot be something that just happen overnight without any signs. I got to know about it in the afternoon, and honestly, I'm still in shock.

And till lately, I'm more afraid to think about my parents' old age than anything else. Honestly, they are still in the pink of health, but I'm really afraid of that day coming. So I have to be as attentive to them as I can be onwards.

My deepest condolences to these 2 friends. I hope their family members will be fine and will be over this soon. It's difficult but I really hope they do and they stay healthy and strong.

Happiness of 2013

2013 has come to an end.

To be honest, looking back at 2013, it has been rather kind to me, more than I expected and definitely better than the previous year(s). I'm glad and grateful for everything that has happened to me in the year, no matter it's good or bad. And I have to say, it's definitely good over bad. Let me count my blessings.

1. I'm lucky enough to get short getaway trips 5 times this year. HAHA! Malacca with the favourite people in March, Bday trip to Taiwan with Yushi in June, SYCO trip to Taiwan in July, Bangkok Trip with the favourite people in Sep, and Hong Kong Trip with the Family in Dec. How was that even possible! Lucky that I was able to make all these decisions without worrying about something else. Anyone who knew me probably knows that traveling is my biggest enjoyment. I'm happy.

2. I managed to see all my favourite artists this year and I'm really really grateful for that, esp. JJ Lin 林俊傑, Sodagreen 蘇打綠 and CNBLUE! There's just so many happy moments with these people!
a. Amei on 26 Jan
b. CNBLUE on 13 Apr (Short but fulfilling <3)
c. 蘇打綠 Sodagreen on 15 Jun in Taipei 小巨蛋! <3
d. S.H.E on 26 Oct
e. JJ 林俊傑 on 9 Nov (the love <3)

3. Watched some awesome concerts and musicals as well. 刘沙，阎惠昌，吕思清，Hairspray, The Phantom of the Opera, Broadway Beng, Addams Family, etc.

4. See some of my closest people gone into the new phase of their lives. My dearest same-age-cousin was the first, I'm really proud and happy to be part of the happy event. She is then pregnant now with a baby boy. Probably an april baby, can't wait!! :D Then there was wedding of a cousin in Oct, a not-so-old-but-rank-higher-uncle wedding in Nov and another cousin in Dec, all from the Lims. And of course, one of my dearest friend, also got married in Dec. Happy to be a bigger part of the big event for my dear friend, though halfway through I was totally out with churning/cramp stomach with runs. But I managed to stay through the whole thing and shared the happiness. :)

5. Didn't change job for the whole year! Haha! I'm thankful and grateful for really good colleagues. Helpful, cheerful, and encouraging environment is definitely what I'm looking for. But I know it won't last long, in fact, it will end soon. Though I'm really enjoying what I do now (esp. with the performing groups), some things cannot be forced and there's an end to everything. Well, we will see. Hopefully the next one will really be something I like too.

6. Just before the year ended, I got to meet up with a group of friends I ever felt dear to. All that we have gone through together. Even though we seldom meet, in fact, probably once a year or longer, everything felt so familiar, just like how we always eat and chat after CO prac in JC. Will never forget them. :) And well, he is getting married! :)

7. It's my last year in SYCO. A good year I say, everything still feels so fresh, very happy that I went through all the events happening to SYCO this year - all the 3 concerts, overseas trip, chalet. Many new experiences: memorable and good ones. It makes me treasure the experiences more and love SYCO more. I hope our paths will cross again. My Mondays and Wednesdays will be so empty from now onwards. Sighs.

So yup, that's all! Let's just forget about anything sad. :) And hope for a better, if not, same 2014! :D

JJ Timeline Concert 《時。線》

I'm in the hype to update asap. Indeed, a very exciting night. I have to say, I'm happy to convince my JJ concert partners to pay more and come with me to the front to see him so clearly! :DDD I was at the 6th row from the front! In the segment where the most important guests were sitting so he was near us most of the time! Heh!

Our tickets~!

S.H.E Together Forever

I thought of going to the concert for the longest time. (okay, actually the longest was Amei. haha!) But I did really want to go this time. But the tickets were long sold out, and when they release that last few tickets, either the seats are not those I liked or they are just too expensive (Cat 1). I even held the tickets in my Sistic cart for a few times, contemplating. I gave up in the end. My principle behind is, if I don't even spend that kind of money on my favourite artistes, I shouldn't do it to the ones I'm not so hard core about. Which means to say, I have never spent that amount on JJ before lah. I thought 'it's just too bad because their tickets are really too expensive for me'. I'm saving up for more things since Christmas is most 'chor' period on money. And I have decided.

Next thing I know, the very next day, my sis whatsapp me and I was totally delighted. In fact, I replied immediately and was smiling to myself. HAHA! Okay, a bit drama but that was totally what I did at that moment I saw the text. I went OMG! YES!

You cannot imagine my excitement. I was sad because I missed my bus by seconds. But after this it doesn't matter anymore! And it's FREE!!!! :D

And then I had a BKK trip in Sept

I say I'm kind of lucky. To have the luxury of all these. Again, it's kind of an impulse decision to go along with the friends. But it was a happy one. :) Went to Bangkok with some of the Beloveds. First time 6 of us plus 3 went overseas together.

It's very hard to have so many close friends going out at the same time. And we are all glad of each other's company (I'm sure). Haha! It's a bit impromptu, and I had so many choices I chose this over the rest. But excitedly we had all the flight and accommodation settled. :)

It's a crazy trip of eating and shopping.

We reached there early afternoon, so soon after we dropped our bags at the hotel, we went out for lunch at Platinum mall, it was an impromptu decision for the fuji restaurant lunch and shopping indoors because it was raining after we finished our lunch. So we decided to shop where we were.

To be honest, BKK is like HK, 買東西、吃東西，買東西、吃東西。With an extra option of massage. It's like the best place to go get new clothes blah blah blah.

Went to do Pedi and mani too, but I don't think I will do it again next time, because they really took toooooo long. HAHA! I only did cutting for both hands and feet and drawing for toes only and it took me 3 hours. I was so going to die sitting there (almost).

Massage was awesome as ever! Every night without fail :) Shiokness. Even met a friend/ex-colleague there. We don't even meet in SG because we stay in different parts of SG. haha!

Weather was a bit crazy. It's either too hot and it's raining. LOL! We had to stay indoors on one of the days because it rained when we were about to go out. The other times we had some difficulty getting back to the hotel dry, even though we had ponchos. And luckily we had the ponchos.

Despite that, surprisingly we had enough chances of roadside stalls food. Glad that we always have a street of food right below the hotel. Though they don't sell till late like 1, 2am, but I have to say we had a lot of good food here and there. Some of which I didn't even know or tried the last time round. :)

Spent most of my money, buying things only for myself. HAHA! Okay, a few items for other people, but seriously, not much. I don't know how I really am able to buy so many things, just for myself. Oh wells....

It was really a good trip with the closed ones and I really look forward to going somewhere else with them again! :D

Broadway Beng - Back to the Basics.

最近和朋友一起去看Broadway Beng. 本來陳瑞彪就是我最喜歡的舞台劇演員，加上在Broadway Beng 裡非常搞笑的他，是我真的期待的作品。可惜我只看過了上次Esplanade 的，和這次的。雖然這兩次我是totally enjoy, 可是好像就有那麼一點的遺憾，但我也知道，那種遺憾的感覺會讓我不會再錯過他以後的演出。

人長得不錯，歌聲佳，搞笑功力了得，演技也很好，中文英文福建都行。我覺得沒有什麼好挑剔的。HAHA! Okay, that would be quite a bias comment.

We all know most of the part would be funny. And indeed it was really funny, we all had hard laughs throughout the show. And the songs! They are the one and onlys. Where do you hear people sing the songs in chinese and hokkien, in english and hokkien mixed? The Broadway Beng does it. :) And the translation are always so funny, you can't help laughing. He made jokes out of the simplest thing you can find: his mother, his siblings, the audience, the stage, the supporting cast, even his father who has passed away.

I have to say that I was touched when he sang 《阿嬤的話》(He changed the lyrics to 阿爸), as a dedication to his dad. The only part in the whole show that wasn't at all funny. But he changed the mood so fast to joke that he is talking towards the ceiling not because his father is sitting at Circle 2. -.- And if the audience at Circle 2 sees his father, must say 'hello' to him. -.-'''

I love the part he speaks to the audience and the Justice Bao part. They are too hilarious. Tea parties, Ronald McDonalds, Grease, all so funny. I have a great time and thinking back now, some of the scenes still made me smile. :)

Little Broadway Beng is so cute. And at his age, he's really good in speaking the language. Acting was really good too. Plus, he has a cute face. haha! But throughout I was thinking, is that really the thing we want to teach this child? Is he too young for it? Or he has the 'bestest' idea what he's doing? I don't know, and I'm curious! 這樣真的好嗎？連邊緣的話他都用上了。但以他的年齡來說，我是很佩服他的。因為他太棒了。

Overall, have to give this show thumbssss up! :D I love Sebastian Tan and will continue to support him! I hope he makes a Broadway Beng show every year! PLEASSSSSSEEEEE! :D

我愛台灣 (2013年版, 第二篇)

Yup, the anticipated trip since the friends started become closer in SYCO few years ago. It's a pity that those people have already left the orchestra for various reason. But still, I was still looking forward to it, because there's won't be anymore chance. HAHA!

It's not an easy trip to come by for this one. And I appreciate every effort. I would love to ask if this trip had happened last year or the year before, would it have been very different from what I have experienced? Answer is most probably! Why? The people, maybe the repertoire, the end result.

我愛台灣 (2013年版, 第一篇)

I have to admit that every trip has something memorable, each one has its own value.

I have gone to Taiwan (Taipei) twice in the past 2 month, i.e. one month once in June and July, for different purposes: Play and then SYCO.

第一篇
台北: 木柵台北市動物園, 台大商圈, 師大夜市, 十分瀑布, 十分風景區, 九份老街, 士林夜市, 台五分埔, 饒河夜市, 北車站地下街, 西門町, 台北小巨蛋.

Work's treating me.

Been too long, I hope this is not going to be an overdose. Ytd my colleague and I realised that time has really passed so fast that we already almost halfway into this year and 2 months ever since the new contract started. To think about it, I felt I was a bit too timid to ask for more. Nonetheless, I know that's not exactly what I cared for although it would have helped a bit more now that I need more money for trips and concerts. haha!

Btw, new term has started for the talent programme and I'm kind of skeptical about it, having new instructors, new students I haven't had a chance to talk to all of them (I hope I do in time to come). Starting anything new is never easy (well, taking over wasn't easy too). But new challenges is something we just have to go through in life. I never like too much changes, but I've grown to accept that they will just keep coming after all these years of the unexpected(s). I guess life has taught me through the hard way. 

I don't know how long I will stay here. In fact, I like the place and the people if not for some factors. It's a pity but we all know that we will not be able to stay forever, not even long. This is quite sad, but I guess the colleagues are really people I will continue to contact. We are more like friends than just colleagues which I was quite thankful for. Plus the team is really good to the point that sometimes I feel so clueless and they already have everything done nicely. My team colleagues are so nice they are always trying to take care of us and help us in any way they can, like just random chat, sharing food, offering to drive us out/back after work. Really greatful to meet such nice people. Just today (1 June), I had a great chat with them over working at the band orientation programme. Next session onwards, I'm gonna be alone there again. But well, accept and take it with stride (my moto now).

For the other team, I am thankful that the students, or rather, members, are really kind of nice. They are experienced, and sometimes too outspoken, but I'm glad they could talk to me, and not treat me like some transparent. And in fact, I was quite touched that a few of them actually thanked me for being there for the rehearsals and going through all these. Honestly, music has always been my passion, doing an orchestra work has always been my dream (just that I'm a bit clueless here sometimes because of the inconsistency), and here I really still have a lot to work on. But I've also told my other colleague doing the youth sinfonia, that I know it's going to be difficult, but I will take it with stride and do whatever I can. Actually I said this only to encourage her because she was feeling uncomfortable with it at first. And probably she's going through what I felt last time - i.e. not liking changes. But sometimes we just got to change, and I'm getting her to accept that, I think she is and I'm happy for her. 

It's hard work lately, so much so I haven't had chance to get myself a weekday off day even though I worked for a few saturdays. I'm so gonna have it next week. Accumulated too many hours, I think I have enough for my TW trip, without the need to take any AL. HAHA! 

I think I should sleep soon. Been falling sick too much lately. Started with the sore throat and fever, then the swollen blistered up bites, and then some blocked nose. Okay, I haven't slept so late ON PURPOSE for a long time. I said that because I was forced to - due to the blocked nose, and the itch on the bites most of the time. Other than the nights I had the drowsy medicine from seeing the doctor, the rest of the nights were pretty bad. In the sense I totally have no mood to put on any make-up in the morning because my thought was I want to get to sleep faster when I return home at night. Some days I really looked terrible my colleagues asked me what happened to me. But still, everyday I went through the same torture of having new mosquito bites, scratching them a bit here and there, and having some with awful blisters. It was the blisters that forced me to the doctor because the first few turn really bad I couldn't even walk properly. My arms and legs (mostly the left) are covered with red swollen patches from bites, time to time. It's kind of gross and I have done all I can to prevent bites but still, in the end I had like 4 on my face. =.= I really need all these to stop like soon or even, right now! It's damn unfair, I'm the only one who gets all these bites wherever I was. Some are really painful and/or itchy, I hope they are not leaving scars. TSK! And I already finished the cream given by the doctor to kill the bateria. 

Yup. So that's it. I have to get back to good health condition and skin condition before my dearest cuzzie's big day. I HOPE! 

CNBLUE, JJ and Sodagreen = the Favourites!

最近無可救藥地迷上了韓國樂團CNBLUE. 並且很慷慨的砸錢買他們的商品。Ok... 也不是算很多，不是非全部都買的那種，但不會想的太多。我會像支持林俊傑一樣想支持他們的音樂，i.e. spend money to buy their album. 我總是覺得他們跟其他的韓星不同的是，他們不需要賣弄包裝，華麗的舞台或服裝，更不需要賣弄不必要的‘姿色’就可以攏絡很多人的心。真誠，帥氣，歌唱實力，舞台魅力就是本錢。

 Cutie Jungshin! Loving him more and more now. He's so cute! But still... Yonghwa is my love! haha!

I could really see his face! He's so charming when he sings and actually all the things he do! Even the little funny dance he does. And when he smiles. Totally melts. <3

In our fan-mode while queuing for the merchandise! Might as well since they are there along the queue. Haha! So in love! Hehe. 

崇庆 Last Day! :(

现在听着周崇庆主持着他在Y.E.S.93.3fm的最后一次的节目，脑海里浮现一个个以前听着他的节目时的画面。常常会有笑到失控的时候。今天，我却是泪流满面的。绝对会想念陪着我渡过小学、中学、高中、大学、工作的这把声音。也许你不相信，但我从很小的时候就跟着姐姐听933，而且是整晚开着电台睡觉的听着，到现在还是如此。也是这些日子让我有当DJ的梦想(知道是不可能实现了)，所以还是继续听着广播吧。

对于崇庆的第一印象是‘双周末夜’，他和周汉民在周末的节目，每个星期我和两个姐姐会一起听，一起笑，还常常笑得太大声被妈妈骂。还记得他们的外号和节目的‘主题曲’和Rap。还记得我曾经写信到他主持的‘弦歌寄忆’是因为很喜欢他那时在主持那个时段。好像他主持的节目我都隐约有听，近几年是记得Mr and Mrs Chew，傍晚班，还有他在主持午班的时候特地会听他每个星期一11点的‘周一有慧(诗)’。

这一天，他将要离开933，电台会少一把我从小听到大的一把声音，陪着我长大的一把声音，我真的会想念的声音。很感伤，但我祝福他，就像祝福灵芝和玛丽一样。加油! 虽然打过电话进去点歌、聊天，他应该不会记得我，但很谢谢这几个月有他在晚班节目。

今天大变动了啊！丁志勇也将move on，当上节目副总监，不再主持早班节目。对他来说是好事，所以很为他高兴。当然也很高兴以后早上会听到家发的声音，真的像他上次离开午班说的：会有机会的。听志勇的声音的机会也多了，因为他将主持中午10－12点的节目。:)

I will still support Y.E.S93.3fm! Jiayou! :D