心裡話

其實還是跟我以前覺得的一樣，我真的什麼都不知道。我真的好像跟他們很不熟。😓

真的慚愧... 竟然不知道他前幾天就已經註冊了。但我也明白，之前就比較親，之後有在一起工作，當然比起跟我一起更好。我認了。之是真的發生的時候還是有些失落，也知道我們一起的時候我很多時候也真的搭不上話。總之，還是很高興姐妹結了婚。也沒想到我會在那天被他們湊對。只是我始終認為他對我一點興趣也沒有。但他的個性的確是我喜歡的那種。我犯賤的喜歡被人取笑／欺負，雖然很煩，但卻很有情趣，很有幽默感。但我經過之前的失敗，不得不承認我對感情一點信心也沒有，而且知道喜歡不能隨便說出口。

我真的很希望那個他可以對我有一點點意思。我不知道願意把手放在女生肩膀是什麼意思，是因為不把你當成有機會的對象才這樣還是覺得是一個很好的機會。我以前總以為我明白愛情，了解男生。其實我一點都不了解。我已經迷失了對愛情的方向。

離題了，不過也是為了掩飾開頭的失敗感。哈哈

其實我也以為我很了解這兩個人，不過其實我什麼都不知道。他們有事也不會第一個跟我說。這也當然，我又不是他們的誰。她們一年發生的好事裡，沒有我。They are very very very thoughtful people, I guess they also tried very hard to care about how I feel. But I guess I am just different and distant from them. I can't deny that it is just normal that they forget about me most of the time. And it is caused by a lot of different factors, not their fault, not my fault. It is just how life is like. I also made my best attempt to show that I make an effort. It's okay, really. I'm happy that they are happy too...

Actually I don't know this post should even be here. HAHA But whatever, who still reads this other than myself.

[Edited, 1.4.2018]
it occurs to me because I was being asked some questions regarding the duo, and the bride+bridegroom. But honestly I couldn't answer any of them. It was awkward. And the guy beside laughed at me and ask if I'm really her friend. So to be honest, I'm really not a good friend. Like seriously fail and I felt too. 

17 going 18

Read from my fav artist's private blog post about the new year wishes, looking back into the year and looking forward. You know, I never do New Year resolution since the longest time ever because I feel that most of the things you want to do in life, if you really want to do it, you don't have to wait till new year to decide to do it. And sometimes people list it just to make a list, and these are very short-lived. (or maybe I was just lazy to do it, nonetheless, doesn't mean I do not have any goals in life anyway)

So... roughly this is what he meant, I don't want to quote the entire thing because it's against the rules of the fanclub. He mentioned that we reflect the year, cherish and remember times that are good, forgive but not forget the moments that are unpleasant to us (sounds like preaching but yea, his faith I shall respect). So he said that we can come up with these lists: * Best 3 moments of 2017 * Worst 3 moments of 2017 * Top 3 goals for 2018

I will start with the worst. Honestly, I have come to terms that I don't really want to document bad things that happen to me so I also don't really remember. Haha. That's being positive. Things that are unpleasant usually comes from thoughts and might not have really happened. 

The only incident that triggered me this year... that I will not forget, was the musician insisted that his instrument be left on stage just because our crew didn't instruct them to keep their instruments after the rehearsal. And his intention was to allow the crew to spoil it. But the entire thing doesn't make sense. I don't really wish to elaborate further because the incident is so prominent that I will remember it without noting it. (but actually I have because I had to write a report for it) 

The only other thing would be that I'm still single. HAHA. Which, to this, I must say that every coin has 2 sides. So while it sounds sad... I am also quite blessed to be happily single (at the moment). Because this allowed me to achieve other things which I will go into later. 

Maybe there were other unpleasant things that made me unhappy at that moment, but if I have forgotten about it, it couldn't be too bad then. :)

Now for the best 3 moments:
1. Made a step to travel on my own. Somehow it seems like a big deal at the end of it, having many people tell me that I was brave to do that. But hey, I'm not even going anywhere or doing anything dangerous. It was just a relaxing (not really? looking at my itinerary lol) trip to a place I'm confident that I can do on my own and really be on my own most of the time. In fact, I feel a little uneasy meeting people there than be on my own. Because I was so free most of the time, it tied me down a little when being with someone else, not being able to leave as and when I liked. Haha! To speak the truth, anything that has got to do with 'travel' is always the best thing that happened to me. Other than all the time I had to myself for this trip, I met people with plans or unexpectedly, pushing myself and forcing myself to make decisions and to be disciplined is one of an achievement. I even pushed through all the times I was struggling with then archilles tendon problem. This trip was the best decision I have made the entire year. I loved the other 2 trips all the same - going to UK and Europe for the first time and spending time with my family at my favourite malaysia spot, but this has to be my favourite, in my favouritest country. :) 

2. Going to live shows and concerts that I've longed to go. Yup, like I always say, music is so much a huge part of my life I can't live without it anywhere. Again, took a step and attended a pop concert alone, but never regretted the decision even I looked stupid smiling to myself more than half the time during the concert. Lol. Also gave myself more space and exploration going to different productions throughout the year, and also seeing some of my favourite artists. The 4 musicals I saw in UK were one of the best I have ever seen... they are shows I would have gone even if the travel companions didn't want to go with me. Haha. I was really glad we spent that kind of time there. Recounting shows: Pop - Yoga Lin, CNBLUE, MusicBank, Weibird Wei Li An, Shilla Duty Free Special Concert (really special because it holds some memories in the heart now). Theatre/Musical - Chicago, Detention Katong, 仲夏夜之梦 from Huayi, ITSY, Mamma Mia, Dreamgirls, The Book of Mormon, Les Miserbles, Forbidden City, Mama White Snake. Orchestra - Gustav Dudamel with SSO, Con Brio IV, and worked through many many fantastic concerts with SCO.

3. I got recognised for the work I have done - the bonus on top of the bonus. Haha. That says it. Thankful for all the chances and trust I have had for the 2.5years into the job. Entrusting me with a project so big 2 months into the job was not what I expected. And I sort of started everything else from scratch before the person before just didn't do it. So I started out clueless and there was a very tight deadline. But of course, also with a lot of help and advice from colleagues/conductors. Glad that I changed some of the things the 2nd time doing it, Just need to make it better every time. There was a lack of space, not so conducive environment, but somehow we did it, with many many praises from the participants and lots of rapport made. I'm only going to make it better. But actually, there's only a change in name, and all the other works remains the same. Haha! Honestly, other than some nitty gritty and decision making, I still very much do things on my own. Haha!

Goals for 2018:
Yup, I do not usually set goals for a new year, as the same for the past many many years because I feel that when you have a resolution, you don't have to wait till the new year to start it. It's just an excuse right? But in this year of work, less errors, more space in terms of timeline for things to happen (i hope), and maintain the grade in work (so I get more bonus lah of course). 

Be more open to accept people, be less on my own. It's a little hard but I need to get away from this to move on. Ironically, I'm off on my own a few afternoons this month. Oh wells... 

For anything else, refer to 三十岁的目标 2013年改版
(Reading that, I actually achieved some of them, and it's time to update it a little).. I will, the next time I'm here. :)

解憂雜貨店

你曾經為你的煩惱咨詢過嗎？有得到回覆嗎？得到的答案是你想要看到的嗎？你是不是其實心裡在某個層面上已經有你理想的作法，但又不確定行不行得通，希望別人給你的建議能和你心想的一樣，就可以安心的進行呢？如果完全不一樣又怎麼辦呢？

如果有機會讓你咨詢，你又會想問什麼呢？我自己也想了想這個問題。我的人生中也何嘗沒有煩惱的時候？在許多做決定的交叉路口中，也曾經迷失，不想面對，並且希望有更好的事情可以發生，也多次爲自己的事情煩惱。然而，即使有這樣的一個雜貨店，會不會願意去咨詢呢？其實書裡咨詢的人物都是很有勇氣的人，就算不去咨詢也很有可能有所作為的。他們都有勇氣咨詢其實很難以啟齒的煩惱，有勇氣接受浪矢先生的建議, 有勇氣去做自己原本沒想到會做的事/決定. 認為這是故事想要告訴讀者的. 

花了很久很久（至少幾個月）才讀完的書。😅  但我很喜歡！內容穿插得很自然，雖然前面真的會有些混淆，但漸漸可以看出方向，而且最後還很巧妙的連結到前面。世界，關係，空間都讓人感覺是圓的。對我來說是很厲害的構思。有些人可能覺得裡面還有什麼遺憾，有什麼不合邏輯的地方。但，對我來說已經很厲害了。前面雖然也覺得有一點混淆，不太明白不同時空的關係，後來覺得還是蠻不可思議，彷彿這樣的事情真的發生卻又不太可能。

我遲遲都沒有讀完的其中一個理由是我在外面讀的時候常常忍不住就流淚了。就算是同一段字，我看一次哭一次。在外面這樣也太失禮了吧，所以根本沒辦法啊。最後讀完的時候還是覺得蠻值得的。:)

中了（某韩剧的）毒

也许我就是一个容易人来疯、很三分钟热度的人。爱看书就突然间一连读完几本，然后久久都没再碰任何一本；爱写字就一连一直写，一直写；突发奇想学新的歌曲就会一直练琴、不然就几个月都不碰一次；心血来潮就每天弄一弄Ukulele几下，然后又好几天，几个星期没碰了。所以搁置已久的连续剧突然间想看就一直看。《灰姑娘和四骑士》(Cinderella and Four Knights) 的前五集我大概已经下载了几个月了，只看了第一、二集，而且是花了很久看的。但星期四晚上突然很有feel就开始接下去看了。然后就一发不可收拾。哈哈！就星期五还得做工，所以没有太夸张，就凌晨1点吧差不多。星期五晚上连我自己都觉得夸张了：回到家已经凌晨1点多，竟然看到快5点钟。其实很累了，但就是想看。:x 然后星期六10点多起床了继续看，就这样，早看，午看，晚看的看完了。也不知道为什么会对这部戏这么恋恋不忘。尤其对丁一宇演的姜志云，完全放不下。结果星期天晚上又重看了第一、二集。超疯狂的。

可能因为他前面的行为有一点像我的理想型 - 江直树。哈哈！就是常常露出不屑的表情，用很不屑的口气，但会慢慢靠近你，还是会放不下你。这样的男人去哪里找呢？而且他笑起来好好看、好迷人哦！真的有爱上了的感觉。有一点幼稚却又还是让人爱。

哎呀！怎么办呢？我觉得如果真的见到他本人我会非常非常地紧张。哈哈哈
（仿佛找回心跳的感觉了呢.... 有多久没有这样的感觉了呢？）Hai...

Plans plans.

Finally, a little step towards my old 三十岁的目标 revised. Honestly, I am still very far from most of the goals, and it seems like everything is difficult other that this one: travel to a dream country (USA, UK - England and Europe).

I have always wanted to visit UK, especially London. Somehow I am drawn to that place even though I may not know the most of it. Lol. Probably because many of my favourite musicals come from there. So anyways, I'm going to LONDON and PARIS! :D I am SO EXCITED. (PS: this is also my first time getting out of the whole big Asia, so I'm also a little nervous. HAHA) And glad to be away during my bday again! At least it's confirmed that I will be doing something more than just working or wasting the day away. And that I will have friends with me. HAHA. Previously I had wanted to do a solo trip for this year's bday. It's a dilemma all over again though. :x

We have so far confirmed our flight, our stay in London, our train to Brussels, our stay in Brussels, and a day trip to Stonehenge and Bath. More to go but we will get there. :)

And so... the planning goes! London, Brussels and Paris: See you soon!

I have never ever wished the birthday to come so soon hehe.

Cebu*Bohol 2016

Not to make up numbers... but this has to be one of my most memorable trip till date. To be honest, I was quite skeptical and nervous about the trip because I really do not know what to expect from the trip. And indeed, there were too many surprises to me.

Flight and accommodation booked and I still don't believe that I'm going. Haha. But of course we did.
Took us almost the whole day to get to our first night stay and also the place for the next 4 nights.

Flight to Cebu -> Taxi to Cebu Port (Take the white taxi only - by meter) -> Fast ferry to Tagbilaran Port (about 2h30min) -> Taxi/Tricycle to resort (depends on how people, we had 6 and were offered 600P to get us to the resort in one 9-seater. Somehow we managed to get another cheaper one at 500P).

The owner/staff of the resort was waiting at the door for us, and once I showed him the email, no other questions asked and we were brought to our rooms. Not the most fantastic place but it was cheap and acceptable. Thinking that we spent about 60+ per pax for the 5 nights there, I guess we can't complain too much. Moreover, they were friendly and helped us in our requests in many ways.

Because we were rushing for the ferry, didn't really have a good lunch, all we had were biscuits, water and my brilliant idea to bring a packet of honey butter cashew nuts. haha. Even though we were already super hungry, we walked all the way to have a atas dinner at another resort about 15min away. Saffron Restaurant at Amorita Resort - yup, as the name suggests, the most expensive. HAHA. And that's it for the first day after eating honey ice-cream that tastes a little salty but the koropok-liked cone is really nice!

The trip to Ipoh...

My second and rather impromptu trip of the year. But also an unforgettable one in terms of a series of events that lead to this already short getaway. My first ever time I double booked myself, to a trip and to a performance. -_-''' I really facepalmed myself. And... it was shocking because I found out when I was on my way to the rehearsal. And I suddenly remembered why I was more insistent on the other date at the start of the planning. The booking of air ticket was too sudden and rush that I didn't give the date another 2nd thought. And it was too late.

Then came the part on the decision. If I really had to choose 1 only, I had to give up the trip, it's sad but that's what I thought at that moment. But anyway I didn't tell anyone at that point, not laoshi, not any other performers, only the travel buddies, because they should know anyway. Of course, some told me to just say no to the performance, but if I had really done that then I'm no different from other people who just find many excuses to not be involved. But to me, I still love playing, still love music, and there aren't a lot of chances to perform anymore. So I really wanted to perform. I won't blame her for saying that so quickly, and thankful for others who understood. Afterall, I found my own solution and all, I don't really have to answer to anyone right? 

Just that it wasn't so easy. The only other flight in to Ipoh goes off before the performance ends, so no hope. No flights early next day as well, not even the same timing they took. Didn't know frequency was that low. So alternatively, I had to take a bus lor, night bus to be specific. Luckily it isn't too much top-up to begin with. And with the car we rented in Ipoh and their willingness to pick me up early in the morning, we are more or less settled, only I had to miss the first day with them. So my getaway was shorten to 2D1N, with the traveling time increasing from 3h (incl. check in all that) to at least 7h. 

And then, I don't know what I was expecting, but maybe if I haven't said it then I won't feel the way I felt after that. And so at this point of time, I still didn't tell anyone, until much later, I only told Hongqing I think. Anyway I didn't have the courage to tell laoshi lah all along.

But at the end of the performance, while wanting to let him know that I will come home on my own, I suddenly blurted out that I had to rush for a night bus that day. But, dang!, he said nothing, other than a short laugh. No words of appreciation. I thought about this whole saga about people not coming, that the orchestra is just difficult to sustain and that people are not appreciative of what he has done all these years. Rather than seeing it as a whole group effort, he chose to think that he put in the most. Yes, it could be true and none of us could exactly say that we put in our live to do it, but well, he got paid. right? And if he expects the appreciation to be only one-sided: he expects to be appreciated but doesn't expect himself to be appreciative of others, then this will not work as well, which is exactly what is happening to this orchestra. Praises should come from others, not always from yourself. 你伟大, 也没有那么伟大. 有一点小失望.... If you think that you have done the most and others haven't put in as much as you did, as time goes by, no one will want to work for you. 

Yes, it was my own fault, but you could have better handled it, or at least allow me to feel more appreciated. So after all, I have no more guilt towards this thing anymore because there is only so much he care about.

So it's my first time going out on my own, I was a little nervous actually. But things like that only makes people stronger, isn't it? But I really did something stupid, at the sg custom, even I don't believe it. HAHAHA! I alighted the bus with all the others and went into the hall and just followed blindly behind the crowd past the automated machines and joined one of the lines to the counted. For the longest time ever, I was thinking how come the queue is so slow, after like 10min, I saw another group of people coming into the hall and most of them went to the machines, that was when I really took a good look and thought the logo really looks familiar. 😅😅😅 That was when I realised that people around me are all holding msia passport and I should have gone to the automated machines. But it was too late, the queue was too narrow for me to head out again and I'm one person away from the counter. But I felt slightly embarrassed at that moment. LOL! I went to the counter and immediately I apologised, and at the same time he looked at my passport and laughed at me, asking if I knew I could have use the automated machines instead of waiting so long for the queue. (the waiting time was really long) I must have looked really sheepish at the counter, both of us laughing at myself. :x He is quite good looking I must say. 

Then I nearly went to the counter that says 'malaysia passport' at the msia custom afterwards, because all the other passengers on my bus were malaysians and I really followed blindly. :x

And so... now to the trip.

A relaxing trip, I want it to be. Thankful for friend who can drive. :) For food, scenery, fun and laughter. Went to the railway station, had to find out how does the parking system works. Did a few very expensive parkings at other places as well. HAHA! Went to 2 intended caves but only really managed one because we also don't know what exactly happened to the other one. And just eat a lot. Lol! Chicken rice, gui lin gao, hor fan, desserts, cafes and all.

I just feel that I didn't do much lor. And dang! we were back. Hahaha.

The only consolation is that I still manage to not waste the return air ticket. HAHA! :)

SydneYing with Family - Aug 2016

The trip had me thinking quite a bit, esp. about the parents. Not sure if we were too adventurous about this trip, that we haven't think a lot in their shoes. Yup, they'd enjoyed during the trip. But maybe we didn't prep them enough information before the trip because, we were all too occupied with other stuff. And it all started with the packing. Oh wells, I have to admit that I didn't handle it the best way I could. I was being authoritative. And I guess also because it is somewhere unfamiliar to them, they were slightly more worried as compared to, say, the HK trip we did years back. It's hard to convince them, isn't it?

小时候都是爸妈带我们出国，东西都是他们为我们准备的。现在长大了，出国有时也由我们决定，但好像不是准备得很好。这次的经验让我知道下次要带父母的时候得要再准备的好一些。虽然我们也没有让旅程太困难，也没有太无所事事。轻轻松松，尽量不让他们需要走太远，毕竟他们通常都跟着旅行团，都不需要走太多的。

But then again, it seems like they have enjoyed the trip. It's quite a mixed feeling ya.
Traveling in large number is not easy, esp. with a few folks. Of course, with my parents being the eldest. They are also game enough for most of the things we planned.

Anyhows, let's recount the trip:
Day 0 - 1: Thankfully the flight was okay. Because we booked separately because of the price, our seats are also split into 2 groups. I was seated with 2 aunts, but it was fun. Fortunately I have interesting aunts. haha

We got there early in the morning, while waiting for our rooms at the Meriton Service Apartment to be ready (we went there at 7am, of course it is still occupied), we got around for breakfast and met very nice servers already. Thankful for the good weather throughout the trip because it has been basically raining for days before we got there.

After the hearty breakfast, we got to Circular Quay to the Rocks market and then to the Whale Watching cruise. It seems to be a little heavy for the folks; even I felt nauseous on the return trip and just had to sleep through it. Nonetheless, it was quite breathtaking to watch the whales. 3 of them! (Book online for a discounted rate). By then we were quite jaded so we got back to the apartment and had some rest before meeting our cousin and cousin-in-law for dinner. Dinner at Bondi Beach Hurricane's Grill OMG I really miss their ribs. :D It was delicious. No wonder for the crowd right. :) And Ben 'n' Jerry's after that. A great first day ended with a visit to the Coles supermarket at the mall right beside our stay. (we actually went there every day hahaha)

Day 2: Started off with Sydney Fish Market. Oh yes, I loved the food there as well. All the fresh seafood, just too awesome. HAHA Had some really good oysters, lobsters, fish, crab leg. Just yummy.

Then went around to the Darling Harbour to look see look see because da-jie's boots fell apart. Went to The Star to just take a look at their casino. Apparently there's some texas poker competition going on. Went to the Sydney Wildlife Park because well, the zoo is too far isn't it? The aunts didn't go in, so well, we stayed but not too long... and I don't remember seeing the huge crocodile. Wonder where it went. Hmm...

Had a rather early dinner at Pancake on the Rocks (the branch at darling harbour), there was no queue. Desserts for the day includes Churros from San Churros at Darling Harbour Mall, Cakes and Macarons from Adriano Zumbo Patisserie and ice-cream. HAHA

The day ended quite early so the folks decided to make our own fruit salad for the night! :D

Day 3: Back to Circular Quay again, visiting somewhere I didn't go to the last time round - Royal Botanical Gardens. And yeap, passing by the Sydney Opera House means taking lotsa photos with the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge.

It was a sunny day and we had some trouble finishing the walk to the MacQuarie Chair, which is at the far end of the garden and suppose to have to best view of the opera house and the bridge. We gave up in the middle of the garden. hahaha. So we decided to proceed to the St. Mary's Cathedral.

Coincidentally we walked into a local food court in the heart of the CBD, of course, with the food prices twice of our food courts. 😅  Had some donburi, thai-style rice and dishes (our mixed veg rice), salad, Udon, Chicken strips. To be honest, they are rather tasty.

And despite the lunch, we went to Queen Victoria Building for high tea after that. Haha. Didn't go to The Tea Room but The Palace Tea Room instead. Well, it's just good to have a nice afternoon tea and cakes and scones in one of the oldest building around. 😁

After that we shopped for while waiting for cousin to knock off so that we can meet and go to his friend's place for a national day gathering. Honestly, we are a little out of place but nonetheless, thankful for the great host.

Day 4: K Mart in the morning, just behind our place actually, while sister and bro-in-law pick up the car from airport. Had a coffee from a what seems like a joint from Toby's Estate - great start to the morning. :) Head to Dim Sum at Marigold when the duo are back with the car. Seems like there are more variety since the last time I went there (I can't rmb) but the food isn't really fantastic. :( Slightly disappointed, but we didn't have chance to visit another dimsum place during the rest of the trip anymore.

And then something touristy - visiting the Paddy's Market, and all we did was get some touristy souvenirs. hahaha

While on the way to get the car, realising that we are near the I-Creamy that sells ice-cream cones with the ice-cream presented as a rose, we just had to go. Because we love ice-cream and we tamjiak and it looks cool and pretty. Turns out it's a company opened by Thai, it really takes someone with skills to make that rose. (Yup, we have seen and witnessed that not all the staff are able to form that rose). So it was worth the wait and definitely instagram worthy. 😍

Then proceed to May Street, recommended by Aunt, turns out the street art is really commendable, judging from the scale of each of them. Not an extremely busy street but still there are cars coming through now and then, how do the artist then even did it? Some are at least 5m tall. Took all the photos we could before the sun goes down anyway.

Dinner was this Japanese joint near the K Mart. So we had rice! haha Grill meat (chicken/pork) and onsen egg! It was delicious I must say. The salmon was good too. It was quite early when we got back but the folks said they were tired already, so the 4 of us secretly went to get Max Brenner for ourselves even though we were also full. And all the other shops have closed. :/

Day 5: Blue Mountain - Revisited places I have been and a few I haven't. We drove so we could take more stops leisurely. It was a long drive though... Staff at the Glenbrook is really helpful, gave us a map and suggested route and what we could look out for through the route. But poor judgement and memory (mine) for the first stop and hence missed a better viewing point for the waterfall, and we guess the folks are not very keen also. Oh wells.

So revisited Echopoint, then time really 3 sisters! 2 sets of 3 sisters, in fact! HAHA The wind was seriously, damn cold. Went to the Scenic World as well. Took what I took the last time - only with an extra trip on the cableway. They upgraded the carriages for the Railway. Looks more atas and safe now. Hahaha. Oh oh, lunch was at the Eats270 cafe with a view. The food was nice though there was a waiting time for the food and there weren't many stalls to choose from.

We don't want to drive too late into the dark and was also afraid that traffic will get heavy on the way back so we left late afternoon (3+pm) and got back to city around 5pm. And went to shop for our dinner at Coles. Bought roast chicken and got some salad and veggies and some wrap (that was a tat too thick to be a wrap in the end) to make our own chicken wrap dinner. We were fed with fruits. A truly healthier dinner. :)

Day 6: Spent half the day at DFO for some shopping, I think everyone got something, at least. Lunch was at the food court. (Yup!) Had some really good sandwich which Aunt shared with me and some nice pasta salad and what not, while the rest had their dose of the thai mixed rice again. Apparently, it costs 12AUD for a plate of rice with 3 dishes, regardless meat or veggies. HAHA That's like almost triple our mixed veg rice here. But it was truly nice also lah.

I had myself a superdry t-shirt, a pair of new balance, 2 tops from Esprit, some gift for a friend's baby, super nice lindt's chocolates (OMG we got about 1kg mixed flavours each, so it was super duper heavy) haha! Actually I didn't go overboard with my shopping right...

Visited the olympic stadium thereafter, which we aren't exactly sure which is the specific site we must go, so we just stopped outside the stadium itself and took photos. It was near DFO anyways.

And to the long-awaited University of Sydney. To do the grass shots. I mean seriously, the grass is just so nice you could sit there all day long. Okay, that applies to all the grass all around Sydney but the university one had a view behind which makes the place looks so nice. So anyway that's at the University Square, which is a highly sought after photo spot by many many other tourists (groups) as well. Jump shot is mandatory, and we even did some funny group photo outside. Lol. Weather and view was so nice you would just want to stay there longer.

It was still early to meet cousin for dinner so we went to San Churros instead. And funny things happened when we drove to town hall and park, just to walk all the way back to where San churros was, and right where we parked. Things that happen when you are new to a place and have no idea where your friend is going to bring you. But food was good! Had my fav salmon, which comes with some starch thing which I can't rmb its name. :x Mum order chicken with quinoa and salad without knowing what it was and didn't really enjoy until sister exchanged food with her. Had a great time at the restaurant korkor recommended.

And we were back to prepare to leave the next day :(

But before that, it means shopping at Coles again for snacks and all to bring back :D Turns out we still bought too much to be consume. I just realised a few snacks already expired. A bit heart pain, but also shows how little of such I eat nowadays. A reminder to myself to give them all away if I buy next time. I'm really not going to eat them.

Day 7 - LAST DAY!: Finally managed to convince everyone and squeezed enough time to get us all to Bondi Beach again, this time for Trio cafe because it was highly recommended. Indeed, the place was full and we were told the waiting time is 1h, which then will not be able to fit into our schedule anymore. But somehow the sister managed to get us all seats while some of us walked down the street to search for other options. We were seated separately but better than nothing! Food was great. And it's my first time seeing Bondi Beach for real and in the day. No chance to do the walks though. Next time if I decide to go again. haha

And then off to the airport we went.

All the food for June

You know, sometimes I read my old blog posts, fb posts and twitter and wonder to myself: what the hack was I writing about? The emotions were so strong in the posts but I just can't recall what they were about. I mean.. to think about it... Sometimes I know that when I look at it in future, it will be something I will remember, plus it's about someone I can't name so openly. So if it's something I can't remember, it most probably means that it wasn't necessary for me to even have that post. haha! It's so lame. But even so, that's okay because these are public domain and one just can't be too sure that any thing like that wouldn't go viral or known to that person eventually cos the world is just so small. BUT THEN... my written diary (yes, I still keep one).. No one is going to read it, except for myself, and I write like someone is. -.- I looked back and there are some things I cannot recall at all. And there's no way to check against either cos then it should have been the fall back part right. HAHA! What was I thinking, seriously. Anyway, so... I should share some positive stuff. :)

OH WELL... just when I thought birthday was over.
I have been meeting people and eating non-stop 2 weeks following the birthday (Birthday started on 11 Jun). And I'm almost dying from the food though I'm happy every single time with friends.

120616 is over.

也许现在我不太看重‘生日’这件事，有一点点是因为几年前认识了苏打绿以后青峰说的一些关于生日的事（就不必在这里说了）

谢谢看到脸书说是我生日然后用了几秒钟祝我生日快乐的人们。虽然不是一件什么大事，不就是打那几个字吗？但你做了吗？看着这些祝福的名字一一出现，不禁有些感慨。就连一些我不太熟的朋友都做了，有些多年的朋友却认为我不值得他生命里的几秒钟。好吧，就叹个气而已。因为是在意的人才会有这样的感觉的。其实我已经很高兴了，因为我没有想到会有这么多人不止用fb的方式，而是更直接的whatsapp :) 我觉得跟我想的一样，是更有意义的。

今年最大的不同呢，就是，我们15年的友谊就这样散了。因为除了我们几个以外，其他人都是如此的被动。谁都会累的。在没有人主动的提问下，被动的人就没有反应了。反正他们也都只顾自己啊。我们没有谁怕谁的，不知道是哪一边出了问题，无法避免的，就算我这几年多么努力的想把大家拼在一起，最后累的是我自己。不拼了，结果就是粘不在一起了。朋友也是两方面的，我想跟你联络做朋友，也要你肯付出时间和精力跟我做朋友才有用。最近终于看到什么朋友真心，什么朋友一向敷衍，或只是出于习惯跟着而已。

觉得很对不起常常以我们为重要的朋友出发的朋友，有时我会冷淡的对待，但是.... 现在开始我不会了。另外一群也是如此。也许，对他们来说，我也是出自于习惯的出现；可有可无。因为已经在一个群组里，不可避免的带着我一起而已。哈哈！

现在起做一个称职的朋友吧。

(朋友太多，但到最后，我从来就觉得选择比较重要的朋友是一件很困难的事）

And well, all these will be visible when the birthday comes. Why?

Real friends wish you happy birthday and ask for a meet up and really meet up with you. Or even, before the birthday comes, not even having to say it's for your birthday. Normal friends wish you happy birthday and that's it, or say meet up soon but that soon never comes. Effort is the word. 

Anyway I think that personally I'm quite an awkward person. I don't like all these stuff but I get a little disappointed at times when it happens to other people and not me. Haha. Just can't make up my mind if I want to feel awkward with all these people staring at me or sad that no one actually cares to plan a little. HAHA!

Time really passes so quickly. Looking through instagram having photos of past year(s) just can't seem to allow me to gauge how long it felt since the last, last last, or birthdays 3, 4, 5 years ago. It's amazing how my feelings haven't changed all these years; that I actually don't mind having the whole day to myself. 

And I will do it next year. I promise. 

說出來就好了

《放不下的活著》 - 插班生

今天會像昨天一樣吧
時間它走得多麼瀟灑
上一秒還好好的笑著
怎麼了

還以為開始慢慢忘了
還以為自己變堅強了
卻突然  聽到你最愛唱的歌了
又突然  整個心掉進黑洞了

放不下的  是你給過我的溫柔
想太多  才會把一切錯過
誰會預料  誰能接受
一刻不小心變成永遠的痛

放不下的  是沒對你說的所有
還有好多好多話想要說
你好嗎  聽見了嗎  想你了


原本就覺得是好聽的歌... 後來聽到933聽眾分享這首歌很有意義的時候, 多留意了歌詞. 感謝.
"放不下的  是沒對你說的所有
還有好多好多話想要說" 也許就是我最放不下的吧.


最近幾天小憂鬱了一下, 是很無聊的憂鬱. 但確切是為了什麼,也不太清楚了.
很想yolo一下, 但看來這次是不行了. :(
明年吧, 反正情況還是會一樣的吧.... 不是什麼高興的事, 可是我就是覺得還是會一樣. 我認了.
我對我的運氣已經不抱太大的希望了. 因為拿到這份工作的時候應該已經用完了,而且應該還不夠用. 明白就好 :(
明年就30了! 啊!
真的想一個人去走走啊... 還是只是因為快到六月了呢? 不知道為甚麼, 只要六月即將來臨, 我就有一種不安... 心裡真的好不安... 好像每天都有一千噸的重量在心上. 曾幾何時, 我多麼害怕生日的到來了呢?
而怕的理由竟然不是因為年齡長了一歲... 畢竟這麼多年來, 我從來不抗拒說出年齡這件事.. 所以這樣也是醉了... >.<

做決定的時刻

Don't know if I should take this trip. Either way they are places I have been... many times. HAHA.

But I've also been wanting to do a solo trip during my birthday period. And these 2 are my only choices, because I also happen to have friends in these 2 places. And I have just decided in my head that it will be Taiwan. HAHAHA =x Provided leave approved and parents not upset over me going alone without them. Cos mum had to say it that day that we should go taiwan next year. Right. It was supposed to be this year, but somehow plans changed.

[26/5/16] Okkkk.... I didn't post the above when I was trying to make a decision that day. And so, now I will do so. Decided not to go during the birthday period and put it off to next year instead. Well, 1 reason being the air ticket price has gone up over the past few days... to a price that I don't think I want to spend that kind of money. Another reason is when at least 2 people told me not to go. Because true friends will tell you the truth even though you are the only paying for it. As much as I don't want to be shaken by other people's decision. But I asked.... right? hahaha. Next year lah... I have a better plan for that :)

Gonna try to persuade mama to go taiwan in Dec first.... So it will be guilt-free when I decide to go next year. HAHAHA :D

All right.... 現在先透露到這裡，其他的下次再說。:)

An additional 'burden'

Today, it's the first time I pay for a TM Wealth Enhancement policy plan premium.

I'm not sure if it's just me or it's the same for people of my generation.

At this point of time, I am still very very very skeptical of what this plan will bring me, even with all the papers on the premium terms with exact numbers on it.

Not exactly skeptical on what I can get out of it after 25 years, more like skeptical if I will be able to fulfill the premiums fully before I take anything out of it. And that is scary because oh man... When I see "25 years" now I still feel the same: that's a hell long time! I don't even know what will happen to me in the next 5 years, let alone 25! And the nature of my passion and work made me more skeptical about all these. I don't even know where I will be working, if I will get married, have any children, have a house, have a car, or even, if I'll still be alive! 

So... I've been wanting to do something like that since I started working, but also due what I've gone through for the past 6 years... there was no security in my life, there is no stability and I can't afford at all, though it would have been better if I have started earlier.

Maybe I'm ready now, maybe I'm not. But I have taken a step. So I'll just have to do it now. For the next 20 years! :o

And then... down to the next thing I want to tick off my list. ;)

就更新一下

很久什麼也沒po了。

也許，有很多事情是不適合在這裡寫的。雖然我的人生也沒什麼好藏的，但也沒有什麼好分享的。就是一個‘無聊’。

除了工作，多數的時候都回家了。現在週末也不會一心想出門了。（有時大家在家的時候還是會）但我又不是那種沒事會一直問朋友要不要出去的人，所以特別的難。反正不是習慣一個人了嗎？

謝謝現在的我把很多的心情放在工作上，畢竟它佔了我們人生多數的時間。很高興我做的是我喜歡的。有怨言但也不太多，每個人偶爾都會埋怨一下吧。這個世界上不可能有完美從來不埋怨的人，所以我覺得《On Call 36》的‘車車’是不可能存在的。所以我當然也不會是一個聖人。但我卻學到了很多，領悟了很多，也很清楚不可能永遠賴在這裡不走，因為這個地方是沒有辦法往上走的。

Oh well, at least I have been and done it. Some day, I will go further. 

其實有蠻多心裡有一點開心的事，但覺得不好在這裡分享了。我知道就好。:) 

希望其他人有找到自己想走的路。也希望我可以繼續尋找下一個想要的東西。謝謝。

PS: Honestly, I tried to update a piece about some things worth noting from last year, but never got myself to do it properly. And I guess I won't be doing it now. Sighs. =x

我愛台灣 (2015跨年版)

如果要說說我現在過得如何，還不如說一些快樂的事。

至少我做了一件瘋狂的事；跟一群朋友一起瘋狂。這也算一件我夢寐以求的事：到台灣跨年去。朋友總是說等她換工作，不然跨年的時候她都得工作。2014年，她換工作了。我們招攬了親近的朋友，一起早早的訂下這趟旅行。而且，2014年，他們都陸續去了台灣，但還是答應了一起去，真的非常感謝生命中有這些朋友。我，有他們，是幸運的。

我只能說這是一趟超乎想像的旅途。（哈哈！）我們能坐的交通工具大概都坐了：飛機，船，火車(台鐵)，高鐵，捷運，客運，9人座車，7人座車，最扯的是腳踏車。哈哈！Ok, 也許就差了纜車，沒時間去乘搭。因為呢，本來單純的只想去幾天的跨年之旅，最後因為飛機票比較便宜，然後用了反正去了就不要浪費的精神，就把它變成了台北->花蓮->清境(+合歡山)->日月潭->台北的8天之旅。:D

雖然整趟沒有想像的順利，但因為跟對的人一起出國，沒有什麼挑剔的。還沒去之前就出現了小狀況：

「溫馨小貼士：一般買火車票是12天前在網上開賣，但佳節期間還是天天到網站查看最新信息較好。還有真的要提醒負責買票的人要在午夜12時就上網去買。」

因為呢，我就是這樣，失去了一次高鐵的優惠價票，還有一次台鐵的座位票。這次跨年在台灣是連假，他們1月1日至5日都是公定假。所以台鐵的票早一天就開始賣了，而且是1-5日的票都賣，方便他們本地人買來回票。所以結果就是，我一張票都買不到。但，當然的，我們也因為這樣，有了不同的體驗。哈哈。這個，先賣個關子。

第一天，無異議，大家很早就到機場，早到我有一點嚇到，因為他們到的時候我還在家裡。最好笑是，我真的很早就起身了，但沖涼到一半的時候，不知道什麼事電箱跳閘了。=.= 全身都是肥皂，又冷到半死，又這麼早沒有人可以救我... 反正最後我就當作是為了台灣的天氣練習了。

一切順利到住的地方後，就開始找東西吃！哈哈。先來一點水餃／鍋貼。然後到師大夜市。吃了許記生煎包，李阿姨水煎包，蛋餅，滷味，藍家刈包 (My fav!!!!)，然後飽到不行，沒機會吃師大鹽酥雞。:( 然後最好笑的，我們又繼續去附近的兩家咖啡廳(café)，但其實大家都大概不行了！HAHA! 就到了Aranzi Café, 很可愛的地方！吃了熊貓蛋糕(Fruit)和貓貓蛋糕(Yuzi Cheese)和壞東西waffle or something like that. 都很的好可愛，也蠻好吃的。然後又到一家立裴米緹咖啡館官網 (L'apre's midi Cafe')吃有麻糬的waffle. 只能說，雖然很飽了，但還是覺得很好吃。第一天就吃吃喝喝就過完了。很好啊！haha! 因為知道第二天會是非常長的一天，所以就早一點回家休息咯。

第二天，早餐去了我去台北這麼多次都沒有去過的‘永和豆漿’，不知道為什麼，我知道西門町有一家，但就是沒有去過。也許是因為比較常住台北車站附近吧。好喜歡他們的早餐店！(Tip: 要選好了才排隊，不然會被‘酸’）選擇真的好多，而且每樣都好好吃喔！我吃的是饅頭雞蛋豬排堡，還有熱的甜豆漿，鹹豆漿is just not my type. Haha. 然後呢，就去了‘等一個人咖啡’(Café.Waiting.Love)朝聖。哈哈！真的。咖啡店老闆非常的聰明（也真的是‘等一個人咖啡’迷），知道這間店原本只是電影的場景，拍完了就會拆掉，就出了錢把地方買下，讓這間店可以延續下去。然後我們這些都看過電影的人到台北就會想去看一看，喝喝咖啡。說真的，食物並不是最佳的，但氛圍就很好啊！何況我們在等位子的當兒就在門外瘋狂的拍起照來，各式各樣的。:) 宣傳效果非常佳！哈哈！

然後呢，你就會以為我們吃夠了。結果，又跑去吃鼎泰豐。哈哈！小籠包，炒飯，豬排，酸辣湯和肉粽，都有！然後呢，離到跨年現場的時間還蠻多的，就到處逛逛，找一找明星的店，本來想在Zoom In買一點什麼，但什麼都沒買，因爲冬裝真的不行。本來也想看看有沒有吃的，但是不太了解店的規格？所以最後放棄了。也看到了其他的藝人的店，但冬季的，真的沒什麼好買。走到差不多了，慢悠悠的到台北101前的廣場。7點左右，人群已經非常多了。我們到的時候節目剛開始，結果看了一陣子，我們就決定走會101吃點東西再回來，反正還要很久。101的人潮是多到...... 只好分頭買了食物到戶外找位子坐著吃，也花了不少時間。回到舞台哪裡的時候剛好羅志祥就唱完了。我們就繼續找位子看咯。其實大家都還蠻守次序的，只是到了快散場（尤其哪個大咖唱完）的時候，不知從哪裡來的人一定要大家一起擠出來，場面頓時有一點失控。有一度還跟朋友差點失散了，而且真的得站穩腳步，不然大家早就散一地了。:/ All being said, it was still quite exhilarating when we were doing countdown. Oh wait, we were at a little lost at the start, because the host were talking and talking, we turned around to look at Taipei 101 and suddenly we are starting to countdown the last 10sec. Haha! 看完了煙火很多人都逐漸離開了，因為林俊傑（本場的最大咖）已經唱完了。但，我們留下看蕭敬騰。基本上，大家還是蠻有次序的散場，漫步到比較遠一點的捷運，在等待入站的時候還有工作人員“娛樂”我們、還腦筋急轉彎。最後還是因為太多人，分開坐捷運回西門町。

然後呢，休息的時間也沒多少了。迅速整理好東西，就睡了，因為隔天趕早班火車。雖然我們到了以後就到台北車站買票，幸好能預先買票，但也只能買到站票。沒辦法啊！只是，上火車時也不知道我們是怎麼做到的，就上了第一車廂，然後發現它是一節沒有座位的車廂，大家就找了位子放行李，做了下來。太幸運了！（好像這本來是讓乘客趴自行車的地方）而且，我們搭的那班車是不怎麼停站的，所以旅程就相對的變短了。So, it was not too bad after all. So we got to rest a little and sleep a little and eat some breakfast we bought in a rush at the taipei station earlier, until I find my butt super cold cos temperature has dropped a little.

第二次到花蓮，美還是美。重遊了一些地方；有些地方卻已經換了／變了。而且有些步道還是有一些危險。第一次沒走完的步道，同樣的還是沒走完。哈哈！真的太累了。Anyway, 晚上高興到了花蓮的市中心, 至少是上次沒去到的. 沒去夜市, 還是吃到好吃的東西! :D 来成排骨面， 豆花，还有曾记Muachi!!!! 新鮮的麻糬真的太好吃了! 然後真的很累, 就想要回去休息了. 連民宿屋主介紹我們去的跨年晚會有蕭敬騰也根本沒有想去的念頭. 最後他出來接我們到住的地方, 洗澡後還是可以看電視, 現場連接跨年晚會的現場. 也不錯啊! HAHA!

隔天一早就離開了花蓮, 好可惜沒有機會到民宿附近看看. 司機載著先去买阿美麻糬，然后我們一路玩一路到清境. 開始覺得冷了. 很慶幸在一些地方看到非常美麗的景色, 而且在沒有太多的霧的情況下有雲海! 可說是運氣好吧, 因為天氣好的關係. 午饭的地方司机让我们选，所以我们在靠近碧绿神木的地方用餐，吃到蛮好吃的饭餐，外加好喝的加了蜜桃蜂蜜的热茶。还有非常好吃但真的蛮贵的急速冷冻日本菇。虽然一路也蛮赶的，原因是说到清境的路上会经过合欢山，那合欢山在冬天的时候是有时间限制的，过了某时间就不能上下山了。主要是害怕下雪路上湿滑，天暗，会危险。反正到清境的時候天還是亮的. 是唯一一次我們兩兩一房的地方. 哈! 看還有時間就到了小瑞士去走走. 那晚吃火锅！冷天吃点热的食物还是蛮爽的。然后又去吃雪糕。哈哈！

第五天了! 因為是冬天, 所以早上不能上合歡山看日出, 所以只能是觀景. 如果是想看日出的行程，就避开冬天吧。結果, 沒有下雪, 然後也去了一些我們前一天已經路過的地方, 算是沒幹到什麼. 那个司机也不怎么样。最後呢, 司機就把我們放在清境農場. 反正就是relax mah. 時間好早, 綿羊們又不知道為甚麼都不在外面跑來跑去. 我們還是要自我娛樂一下. 有幸摸到了一隻踢了毛的小綿羊, 真的是油油的! 有一點異味, 但還是蠻可愛的啦. 哈哈! 又吃了一堆食物, 等著綿羊秀開始. 只是太陽也很賣力. Lol! 看完秀就又到处拍照咯！Jump shot 不能少! haha! 跳到累到........ 最惨的是，接下来还要走那长长的楼梯下山，499步听起来不多，走起来却是...... 到底的时候，不夸张，真的脚软。幸好，我出国最好的朋友就是安美露(Yoko-yoko). Haha! 在紙箱王(Carton King)吃晚餐後, 又是自由時間啦!

隔天一早吃饱后就出发到日月潭啦。超期待的说...... 景色还是挺宜人的。Ok... that's a understatement. It's a beautiful place! 有一点点长途跋涉，为了一睹整个日月潭的美。但，我觉得值得。谢谢民宿主人热情地分享，也是希望我们不把时间浪费掉了。所以时间过得倒真的充实了。景也看了：到玄奘寺和慈恩塔的距离真不是盖的。斜坡和楼梯统统都来，好不容易才到玄奘寺。休息后又是一系列的楼梯，还要爬上7楼高的慈恩塔，才看得到那整个日月潭的景色。真的就是无限大的感觉。(还有无限远) 而且要原路返回。T.T 然后终于到了大吃大喝的时候，在伊达邵是买了不少食物啊！杰记山猪肉大刈包、烧麻糬、不同口味的烤香肠、阿萨姆奶茶、烤小米麻糬、等等。还有阿萨姆奶茶冰淇淋！就是吃！哈哈！然后赶在最后一班船之前回原来的码头。看到太阳下山！真的好美，但好快！一下子整颗咸蛋黄就在山后不见了。晚餐也在一家蛮不错的餐厅吃：虾子、蛋卷、烧肉...... 在等座位的时候还买了炸香菇 －好吃！哈哈什么都好吃。晚餐后就逛街啦，买了小饰品什么的，反正就是那些游客的精品店。:)

民宿主人也住在同一栋的。他们的房间是真的漂亮，宽阔。也非常的舒服。但只住一晚。他们也建议我们早上可以跟着他们到私房的地方看日出，说是最好的地方，是他们老家的.. (something like that). 我们考虑了以后还是决定了不去，因为很早就要出门，然后要走蛮长的一段路。我们还是想看日出，但决定在码头附近的地方看咯。而且想骑脚踏车，所以不能太晚。结果，由于当天的日出晚了一点，只看到了山后的晨光，没机会等到太阳完全的升起，不过还是觉得蛮美的喔！看时间剩的不多，就出发骑车去了。还以为能骑完整个路线，但我们大概只骑到了一半吧，其实路程是蛮累的。虽然路不颠簸，但斜坡不少，加上早上的太阳也卖力的照在我们身上，只到了游客中心，听了一会儿就返回了。但不得不说，风景真的美。Definitely live up to its name for being one of the most beautiful cycling trails. 各位，最后第二天了，体力透支了也不过分吧。

然后就得赶巴士出日月潭到台中高铁，搭高铁回台北咯。还好有时间买食物，只是我知道自己已经有一点要感冒的迹象了，就买了最方便吃的食物＝寿司，想换来多一点的休息时间；放弃了看起来非常好吃的高铁便当。幸好，我做的选择没有错，10分钟内吃完，然后睡觉。隔壁都还没吃到一半，我就已经不省人事了。哈哈

回到台北又是一系列的血拼：去了诚品，挣扎了很久，然后买了五本非常重的书。:x 还有大吃大喝（对，又大吃大喝）到我最喜欢的饶河夜市啦！好吃的食物还是那里最多；我们真的吃非常多。上次吃过的，加上新发现的。然后去了佳德糕饼，现在有新的捷运线到饶河还有佳德门口（还有小巨蛋），真的超棒的！不需要再走那么多路了，也是因为这样，我们才回去了原本没有在计划内的饶河。:D 回宿舍放下买的东西后，还早，所以又到了比较靠近我们的宁夏夜市。我头一次去喔！没什么大不同的东西，但炸芋圆还是好吃的，还有50岚，此旅行第一次喝。然后就是收拾行李的时候啦...... 这次住的宿舍 - Star Hostel, 我还蛮喜欢的。干净：因为进去房间的范围前，就得把鞋子换成他们提供的拖鞋。只是需要上楼：行李也要搬上去。应该多数住的都是背包客吧。而且观察到多数都是韩国人哦。

最后一天!!!! :( 一早去找早餐店，才发现上次那间已经扩大了，结果就去了隔几间的老式早餐店，非常的好吃! 吃了蛋饼和豆浆，非常不想回来。然后就去了动物园看小圆仔（但其实它的体型已经不小了）！<3 熊猫！:D 然后再回到西门町，大家各自做最后的冲刺。在最后一天吃了豪大大鸡排，也许上两次都没有吃，这次吃还觉得蛮好吃的！大家都大包小包后，时间就差不多了。Woowoowoo...... 回到宿舍，把行李整理好就走了。对！还买了楼下的甜甜圈，后来排长龙咯。结果飞机晚点，迟了约一小时才到新加坡，凌晨1点多、快2点才到！早买的飞机票不算太贵，就不计较了。@.@

All in all... I love Taiwan.

如果要跨年，现在可以安排了哦！

My Daddy. My Superhero.

今天听到《心情小抽屉》一个爸爸的故事，竟然听到哭了。不只是她的故事感动到我，同时也想到我爸爸。最近都在说一些父亲节，关于爸爸的故事。跟很多的女生一样，我也觉得我爸爸是全世界最好的爸爸。爸爸是我的superhero。我只是常常觉得我做女儿有时非常的失败，爸爸不年轻了，但生活上的很多事情都是爸爸做，爸爸承担的。就连水电费都是。他也从来没有要求我们做这些。连以前父亲节出外吃大餐时，也碰上我这个六月宝宝，一起庆祝，还要爸爸出钱。

My dad may not be the most wealthy dad, we take public transport, we do not have aircon, we do not have a big house, but he gave whatever he could afford. We travel a lot when we were young, he was the sole bread winner and now retired for more than 10 years but he never asked us for money or whatsoever. He never ever stressed that we should be the ones taking care of all the household expenses or any of the sorts, not even when buying electrical appliances. He gave us all lessons that develop us to be people with culture and someone with at least some skills. He offer to wash dishes when he sees that we are all tired from a day's work, he makes tea for us every single time we asked for it. No complaints ever. 

The most thankful thing I had towards my dad would be that he ever encouraged me to study Erhu, not just that, he wanted me to go Beijing or Shanghai. How many parents would encourage or allow or even, be the one to suggest their child to take this path. But I know I wasn't good enough for that. But deep down I was really touched and I kept on remembering that I have such wonderful parents who are always supportive of what I do even though they were a little worried at some points of my studies and my career. I know that I will never in my whole life, able to repay what my parents have done for me. 

But I hope that I'll be able to provide my parents with more comfort and happiness soon and make them less worry for me. 

They both are going on a trip to Tibet tonight, I hope for them safe flights and transport throughout the trip, that they will enjoy the trip without being down of any illness, not even the slightest flu or food poison or diahhroea and be back safely. I miss them already. 

I love you both papa and mama. 

Birthday. 又来了. 然后走了.

I was never the 'Hey, you want to meet and celebrate my birthday' kind of person. I am still not. If anyone wants to celebrate for me, I'd be happy. I didn't expect anyone to celebrate with me this year. After all, with the passive kind of mentality I have, I should get lesser and lesser celebrations right? I really need to thank my friends for putting in effort to make me feel loved. As much as I didn't really feel like celebrating my own birthday anyway (partially cos I'm getting older), I enjoyed each and every meet up with the friends. In small group or big group, it doesn't really matter. To where we go, it doesn't really matter as well. Because I really loved the company. I'm not sure if it's me being Gemini or not, or it is just me that even though a little on the quiet side sometimes, also very noisy when with the right company. haha!

Furthermore, I'm only in this company for about a month, hence, I would never expect anything from anyone in the company cos I would expect anyone to know as well. But friend announced loudly in office (several times). Lol! Then she and lunch khaki wanted to treat me lunch! :D Even though in the end we went to the ramen that serves free ramen to birthday person on actual day, even comes with a side dish! Lol! So they decided to get me cake too.

In fact, I had already 5 different cakes through the day. Lucky thing I didn't redeem my free cake from Starbucks. Of course I shared the cake, even if I ate most for some of them. So they got me 2 cakes from Cake Spade (we sat there to finish them, I even had candles, I don't even the last time I had 1 lol!), 2 from the 2 cute interns, and 1 from the sister :D To prove the happiness further, I haven't had so many cakes for the longest ever. I am a happy girl. :)

Happy girl ended the day with an awesome concert and a lovely time with the sister! :D Kit Chan was amazing, she was so good! I loved the way she spoke too. Everything felt so comfortable. :)

月老。--@九把刀

前一天看完《等一个人。咖啡》以后，终于找到从台湾买回来的那几本书，拿出这本。

昨晚没有出门，吃完饭就躺在床上开始读。读一读，就放不下了。只觉得，这个阿纶“黑人牙膏”真的很好笑，很白痴，却痴情。然后读到这一段的时候，突然有了熟悉感。

重返《等一个人。咖啡》

今天重新看了《等一个人。咖啡》。

因为读了原著小说，内容很不一样，但在读的时候，一直在用想象力把故事的情节和电影的人物连起来，所以一边读的时候，仿佛已经忘了电影版是什么样子，就想再看多一遍。

电影跟小说的内容差蛮多的。人物的关系也有不同。而且，书里的故事和人物都看起来比较有趣耶！只能说，各有各的好吧。因为当初只看电影的时候也觉得已经很棒了啊！可能要把所有的事都放到电影太多细节、太多焦点，不太符合。除了结果是一样的以外，其他的都改变了不少。

一样的是，都有很白痴的部分，也都有让我感动的地方。今天再看电影的时候也这么觉得。因为笑的地方又笑了，白痴也说了好几遍，哭的地方又哭了一遍。记得在读小说的时候，最后转捩点的部分让我有特多的惊喜，尤其是金刀嫂让她为菜取名的那一个。书里，阿拓从来都没有说喜欢思萤，却做了很多事来证明。读小说哭得这样，很蠢吧。而且明明半夜了，真的死都要读完。真的没办法。电影里的阿拓告白了，虽然看起来不太认真。而且，不同的是，电影用的是爱情的巧合，让这两个单纯认为不是爱情的人一直巧合的遇上，是很浪漫，却少了书里阿拓为他们共同创造的许多回忆。

惭愧的说，我花了很多时间才读完小说。科技的进步让我没有耐性再每天一直拿着书本一直读。当然，是我自己的问题。我常常以为自己把书带出门是会读的。但只要有手机在身边，心思和注意力就没有办法放到书上。要真的读意来的时候才有办法读多一点。已经没有以前那种读小说的热忱了。:( 又喜欢买书，又没有动力读书，不知道在干嘛。-.-

“每个人都在等一个人。”

“每一个人，都在等一个人，等待一个能够看到你与众不同的人。”

等。继续等。

还有，今后要多读书。

Just Sharing Thoughts

是的. 一年又過去了. 沒想到一年比一年寫的少了. 結果因為這樣好像很多的東西可能都忘記了. 那天在電台聽到一首晚班DJ介紹的英文歌曲. 她直接提到了歌詞有一句"I always try to not remember rather than forget". '忘記'也許就是一件多麼難的事. 發生了就是發生了, 有些事不是說想忘記就可以忘記. '不記得'又跟'忘記'有什麼不同呢? 好像有點難分辨. 也許, 分別就在, 你可以選擇不去'記得', 但不能選擇'忘記'. 有些事情, 不去觸碰到, 你就不會想起來, 但不代表你已經把它忘了. 如果我以前不再是他的朋友, 也許我就不會常常想起那些事. 但現在想想, 有很多事都已經模糊了. 我也不是非想起來不可, 但也許這樣情感上有一點點的寄託. 還沒有找到下一個不代表不會有, 我也相信, 那天的到來會改變現在對他還有一點懸念的感覺.

最近, 林俊傑的《可惜沒如果》是不是也把你打動了呢?

假如把犯得起的错 能错的都错过
应该还来得及去悔过

假如没把一切说破
那一场小风波 将一笑带过

在感情面前 讲什么自我
要得过且过 才好过

全都怪我
不该沉默时沉默 该勇敢时软弱
如果不是我 误会自己洒脱 让我们难过
可当初的你 和现在的我 假如重来过

倘若那天
把该说的话好好说 该体谅的不执著
如果那天我 不受情绪挑拨 你会怎么做
那么多如果 可能如果我
可惜没如果 只剩下结果

如果早点了解 那率性的你
或者晚一点 遇上成熟的我

不过

全都怪我
不该沉默时沉默 该勇敢时软弱
如果不是我 误会自己洒脱 让我们难过
可当初的你 和现在的我 假如重来过

倘若那天
把该说的话好好说 该体谅的不执著
如果那天我 不受情绪挑拨 你会怎么做
那么多如果 可能如果我
可惜没如果 没有你和我

都怪我
不该沉默时沉默 该勇敢时软弱
如果不是我 误会自己洒脱 让我们难过
可当初的你 和现在的我 假如重来过

倘若那天
把该说的话好好说 该体谅的不执著
如果那天我 不受情绪挑拨 你会怎么做
那么多如果 可能如果我
可惜没如果 只剩下结果
可惜没如果



很多事情都是沒有'如果'的. 如果我那時不這麼衝動, 如果那天我能夠冷靜一點, 不受朋友誘惑, 不讓他們主宰我們的事, 如果我從來沒有對任何人說的話... 這麼多如果, 可能如果我, 可惜沒如果, 沒有你和我, 只剩下結果... 結果就是我自己不肯放過我自己. 我放下了, 但我沒有原諒我自己的執著. 雙子明明就是三心兩意的人, 為甚麼我要對一件事堅持那麼久? 兩件. 另一件是工作.

我覺得有時我對這些事的執著是過於我能承受的. 我也想知道, 我到底是哪一步走錯了? 到底怎麼挽回? 也許能挽回的就是現在好好的工作. :x

I can only say, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. I'm faced with disappointment every single day and every single time I apply for something. I don't know if I'm getting stronger, but I'm definitely getting used to it. And I'm just gonna try again.