SYCO has gone into another year. I think I say this every year, but it's really kind of different every year, isn't it? And especially when more and more friends have left us for greener pastures. Nah, just joking, they left to other matters they have to cope in life. And sometimes it's not like they really wanna leave, and I understand, one day I will leave too. Sooner or later.
The funny thing is, I'm treating every year like my final, and still the same this year.
But somehow, the feeling is not so strong anymore, even though I know that eventually when I leave, I will still feel sad. I feel so emotionally attached to the group, we are not just people who play in the same orchestra, we are a group of close friends, a family. And I know I will miss everyone there.
Actually I kept on have to convince myself that it's time to leave, and I really do feel so, but I feel so attached to sy that I'm afraid of the emptiness I will get when I really do leave. Everyone is saying that next year is the 10th anni of sy and it should be quite cool to be there for a 10th anni. Same sentiments, but will I really be able to commit. And to be truthful, sometimes I see it as a hindrance to whatever I want to do in life. Seeing people with so much freedom without commitments like this, I'm envious. However, the fear that things will not be as I see it worries me. Oh wells, I blame myself for not being young enough. HAHA!
I think I got sick of myself talking about the same things every year after sy concert, so I'll save that for now. But I'm quite glad for this year's concert, erm, somehow, haha! I admit that I haven't been practising much (which is also one of the reason I feel that I should go already). There are so many more worthy of staying inside than me, though my attendance is probably better. But I was quite surprise that at the end of the day, we got to where we should be on the stage, and could see Mr. Quek is quite satisfied, by the expression and gestures he made. The sy miracle we always say. Everything comes alive on the stage itself. :)
And so, we still made it. And in fact, I was kind of touched during 边巴 that I nearly teared, thinking of some friends I miss and will miss in future (kind of silly also), but eventually I resisted, knowing that I really shouldn't tear on stage. But the music was just so good, really love the song.
Then, ironically, this is the first year I totally don't feel like performing for the finale song, because I didn't have time to practise and I would have a bit more free time if I wasn't involved. Plus, I've been in for ALL the years I was in sy, so I don't feel there's any regrets, unless if you want to consider the completeness because I did. Actually this part was quite funny, we were rehearsing with the SCO musicians for the first time and Zhangls thought I'm sitting with him since I already did for the past 3 years. Then I got to break the news that I'm not. LOL! He was a bit shocked. I had to go: '老师，今年我不是坐你旁边! 哈哈!' and he went: '啊？'. Ok, my worth proven. hahaha! Just kidding. :)
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