RANTINGS AHEAD

WARNING!: the situation below is not nice for the ears. just go to another page to feel happy. OK!

I couldn't use words to describe how pissed i was today. I gave up my visiting trip to ny becos our meeting has shifted timing again and again... And in the end i thought it was pointless to go down anymore. What happened in the end? I went to bugis to develop some photos due to unforseen circumstances and reached school already 15min late (knowing my classmates)... NOT THAT WELL if u read on... Great.. no one is there yet. I msged 2 of them. 1 said reaching soon. Fine. and i waited for 40min be4 that person appeared. The other then just replied and said reaching in 15min. And asked if want to go for lunch tgt. HELLO!? I thought meeting was supposed to start 1h ago!!! What is that person talking about? Then I was told that it was a last min decision that the meeting wouldn't start early anymore. Can someone tell me wth is this? So fine. this person went for lunch with the SO... and the 2 of us who were there already waited in a room. for another freaking 40min. I WASTED ONE AND HALF HOUR DOING NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.

The artist actually reached school on time.... and i would feel very embarrass becos we have to make him wait for our members to reach in order to start. And that member of ours was still having lunch.

Where has all the considerations gone? Not that i think they have them in the first place. The strange thing is i didn't flare up. Maybe becos it isn't the first time. The other day 3 other grp mates agreed to come for morning class and have out meeting after that. And i think one guess and you can get it correct. NONE of them turned up in class. OH well. they came after class ended tgt with the other grp mate who usually attends the aftn class. Well... in the end we still didn't have the meeting cos the big savior grp mate has done something very helpful to a stranger. I mean i dun really blame that person for not coming. But earlier when i saw that none of them were in class. i proposed that we meet the next day. And that person didn't want to. Then after we know that that person was held up by something... we proposed the idea again. and still didn't want to! I dunno what's wrong lah.

I seriously feel that i have problem handling my anger. I think they are kept within me for too long a time. I kept thinking of the words to say but they nv came out of my mouth. I kept thinking of my feelings towards what happened but i nv let them be known to others. Perhaps it's becos i still regard them as friend and i really dun wish to make any situation very tense. Actually i think that i didn't have the courage to flare up. I just sounded VERY bo-chap and unenthu the rest of the meeting. I so wanted to leave school after that long wait. It was really pointless.. At the end of the day. 2 of us didn't turn up. One due to work and the other i dunno what sudden illness.

This whole thing is so ridiculous and i really hope that this project will end faster! Feeling so tired of working with the same ppl already. They are good, they do their work, sometimes i feel that i'm the one not doing enough. But where's the attitude? like reaching soon = at least another 30min? When i say reaching soon. i meant 5 to 10min!! Ironically, i was chatting with that person over a few things while waiting for the whole session to start. And i didn't complain AT ALL about this whole thing.

And guess what? The meeting didn't really go as planned! We didn't have a dry run after all. This is so terrible... after so many meetings.. it seems like we haven't even get the whole thing right. Becos the more we say... the more we have to re-think and re-discuss. Which is what i dun think is right. Actually i didn't even want to contribute anything serious today. I just wanted to listen.. and whatever they say.. that's it. HOWEVER, since there were only 3 ppl. plus the artist 4... i didn't have the chance to act dumb.

Forget it lah huh. afterall... i might not see them again after these 2 weeks. But if u think again. if they treasure the time we were tgt.. then they wun make me wait SO LONG and not feel VERY sorry for it.